Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Herne Steelegrave on October 14, 2008 at 7:29am

Greetings and salutations....

What makes a man a "good" man is a very complex question.

A man may be loyal to his team or unit, always have their 6 and their secrets, yet have 1 wife and a plaything/chew toy on every continent he may be deployed. He could be the type to help you accomplish a task that crosses the border between legal and illegal because it is a moral or ethical issue and he backs your play. Does it make him a good man knowing that he will visit you in the hospital and end your suffering if you choose.

As you can see, many things shape a good man based on honor, loyalty and trust and transcends color, creed or religion. He is defined not only by you, but by himself. I find that the Ranger Creed sums it up:
Recognizing that I volunteered as a Ranger, fully knowing the hazards of my chosen profession, I will always endeavor to uphold the prestige, honor, and high esprit de corps of my Ranger Regiment (or of the Rangers).

Acknowledging the fact that a Ranger is a more elite soldier who arrives at the cutting edge of battle by land, sea, or air, I accept the fact that as a Ranger my country expects me to move further, faster and fight harder than any other soldier.

Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be, one-hundred-percent and then some.

Gallantly will I show the world that I am a specially selected and well-trained soldier. My courtesy to superior officers, neatness of dress and care of equipment shall set the example for others to follow.

Energetically will I meet the enemies of my country. I shall defeat them on the field of battle for I am better trained and will fight with all my might. Surrender is not a Ranger word. I will never leave a fallen comrade to fall into the hands of the enemy and under no circumstances will I ever embarrass my country.

Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor.

Blessings,

Herne

Permalink Reply by Leon Johnson on October 14, 2008 at 10:37am

Hmm..what makes a good man?

Well to put my christian cap on, the bible says there's no one good except the Father. We men are ones who will make mistakes but I think a good man is a man who tries to correct them. I've been guilty of looking at a man on the ground and judging him based upon where I was standing in life. We all have highs and low moments where we wouldn't want anyone to see. God convicted me some weeks ago at church when I was sunday school. If I see a man fall I should ask myself where am I spiritually.

A good man is a man who is availible for change for the better and is passionate about being a asset for someone's change as well.

God bless.

Permalink Reply by kastababy on October 14, 2008 at 6:42pm

I think a good man is like my boyfriend Todd. Todd has spent the past 20 years serving his country in the U.S. Army and recently returned home after his second tour of Iraq. He is a dedicated father to his children, even though he is the non-custodial parent. His first priority is to them, even over me. Of course, no matter what, he is very thoughtful, considerate, and kind -- always willing to lend a hand, checking to make sure that I am comfortable in all situations, always concerned for my safety and well-being, and even though my AA has been somewhat of a shock to him, he has risen to the occasion admirably! I know that for him to go to war and return to a bald girlfriend was a nasty shock, but even I have to learn compromise as well. My boyfriend is a Christian man, a spiritual man, and reminds me that God doesn't put anything on us that we can't bear. He truly loves me for me -- faults and all, and he loves me unconditionally, without reservation. I can't ask for much more than that. :)

In other words, a good man is someone who loves me the way that God wants me to be loved. =))

Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 14, 2008 at 9:04pm

A good man to me is on like rj, he is a man that is not only capable of admitting when he is wrong, but is also not afraid to tell you when you are.

He does not allow you to continue to wallow in your self-pity, but is also capable of bring you back to the present and show you the reality of your thinking.

He is not one that gets along with you all of the time, but realizes that conflict is not all bad.

He listens to your passions and then help you bring them about.

He is capable of seeing past my alopecia without ignoring my alopecia.

He is a man whose friends all know who you are before they have even meet you. And all his friends and family are very aware of exactly how he feels about you.

A man that can cry when his children are hurting or he is worried about them.

A man that can feel deeply when he watches something that just hurts his soul.

A man that goes above “child support” and support his children. Not only financially, but also emotionally. He attends their events, listens to their concerns, tries to speak to them daily and they know they can call him ANYTIME. And although they would admit that he is can definitely be a strict father, they know without a doubt that they are loved and cared for.

A man that regardless of his past, does not use it as an excuse for his present or his future behavior.

A man that is dedicated to personal growth.

He can hold someone accountable for their behavior, but at the same time also maintain his unwavering love.

He can sometimes be passionate and say what is on his mind and what he means. But that passion also applies to opening up his heart and pouring out love to others.

Rj can seem sometimes like he is rough around the edges, but anyone who has really interacted with him, knows that he is softy. ;)

A good man to me is rj!

Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on October 15, 2008 at 7:49pm

Babe, I'm moved. I can't say or show it enough: I truly, TRULY love and appreciate you. :-)

Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on October 15, 2008 at 7:48pm

Herne, Leon, and YoKasta, thanks for such thought-provoking replies. Each of you have given me more to think about than perhaps you realized you would. Hopefully, as Cheryl's "Ode to rj" so graciously suggests, I keep the "good man" bar set pretty high for myself regardless of how much I trip and fall trying to get over it. ;-) I certainly wish each of you ceaseless growth in all good things and a joyful and fulfilling life as your daily reward.