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How to meet men who don't mind
What dating advice or tips would you give a single woman who desires to meet a man who doesn't mind that she has alopecia?
How might she tell the difference between a man who thinks she's fascinating and perhaps a man with some kind of hair or bald fetish?
What are some things she should avoid doing?
What are some things she should be sure to do?
When might be the right time to tell a love interest that she has alopecia?
What behavioral clues might help her determine whether a man is worth the risk of rejection?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Simone on
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Great topic! I have no clue but sure would love to hear others feedback. I am not dating and haven't been for a while ( personal choice) sure could use the advice though : )
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Permalink Reply by M.K. on
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I would like to know about this as well! What have been people's experiences with telling their boyfriends? Especially since men like touching your hair. Do you tell them before it gets to that point so they're not all surprised?
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Permalink Reply by Jackie on
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Yes and no. Most times they already know better and won't even go for the hair in a makeout session.
Some things are obvious enough so they never make the news. Hair is one of them (sometimes). I've never met a wig that was realistic enough to fool someone who was paying close attention. -
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I totally know the answer to this. I am 40 years old and married for 11 years. Lost all my hair at 12 years old.
I have ALWAYS had a healthy love life.
I did this by taking risks and being courageous. Men do it all the time. They keep fishing until someone bites their bait.
I let the man approach me. If I like him then I'll agree to get to know him better. As soon as I determine that I want to keep him (within the first month), I'll say something to him to the effect of "I'm going to the salon today to have my hair changed. I'm thinking of getting something different this time; a little longer - maybe a new color. What do you suggest?".
Trust me when I tell you that he already knows that you've been wearing wigs --he's only been waiting for the right time to discuss it with you. He wants to know how you process it. He needs to know that you are secure in your state. Because he would rather have a bald woman than an emotionally unstable one.
The key here is to exude confidence. Don't get caught up in sadness when you deliver this message, or let him see how much it hurts you.
If you make him feel like hair is just a "thing", then he'll follow your cue and treat it like it's just a "thing".
Remember...don't get in your way. -
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Well! Sound advice Jackie! Thanks for sharing. IM guilty of wearing wigs and weaves to mask my crown which is the are I am most effected. I've worn my shaved head once last summer in public for a little bit but wasn't as secure as I thought. I had my son in 2012 at which time it seemed the anesthesia made the crown worse but my derm said it may or may come back. Anywho I am trying to be comfortable in my own skin so I can be more approachable. I'm shy as it is so the alopecia doesn't help. Thank you for sharing Jackie
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I've never felt comfortable enough to go wigless.
My husband prefers that I wear a wig while we are out and about, so I do. Sometimes I get angry at him for not being that "strong, confident" guy who can sport his bald wife proudly...but then again, after living as a baldy for 25+ years I'm not even that strong...so. ..ya know..it is what it is. He loves me and makes love to me whether I'm wearing the wig or not. - Attachments:
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20140815_221705.jpg, 2.2 MB
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Sweet! Well it sounds like you have it down pretty good lol! I really appreciate the feedback Jackie. I'm having a down week it seems battling with this head of mine : ) so your words are really sinking through right now. Thanks so much
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I know. I hate being bald. You're not alone.
Let's be strong for one another. -
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It's great to know you aren't alone : ) BTW you and your family are beautiful! Thank you again
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Permalink Reply by Katherine Green on
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Well put, Jackie. In short, you have nailed it. xx
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