Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kari M on November 2, 2014 at 11:02am

I think dating while bald is very similar to dating with hair.

Not everyone will be attracted to you.

There will always be guys who go out with you for the wrong reason.

Confidence in one's self is a HUGE source of attraction.

People (all people) will respond to you in the same manner that you respond to yourself. If you are okay with yourself, they will be also.

I choose to not wear wigs.  Wearing hats and being obvious about being bald made my ex-husband uncomfortable for me.  He was an introvert, and didn't like undue attention.  I tend to get attention when I walk in the door, by virtue of wearing hats instead of wigs.

After we divorced, I chose to continue to be up front about alopecia.  I would rather be alone than with the wrong guy.  I had my share of weirdos . . . but I also had a lot more guys that were totally okay with it.  I met my fiance in a jacuzzi party at a friends' house, and I wasn't wearing anything on my head.  He wouldn't have me any other way, because this is part of who I am.

Rejection is always a risk, but it is the same risk that fuzzy people have to take when they are dating.  Being bald shouldn't be a liability . . . it is just a physical characteristic.  If you treat it as no big deal, the men you interact with WHO ARE WORTH KNOWING will do the same.

I guess my biggest tip is to not view yourself as being sub-standard simply because you don't have hair.  You are worth knowing, regardless of what grows or doesn't grow on your head.  And when you realize that, it makes the dating thing a whole lot easier.

Good luck out there . . . and have fun!

Permalink Reply by PamFitros@boldlybaldwomen.com on November 3, 2014 at 10:55am

Kari,

I think you are spot on - confidence in oneself IS a huge source of attraction.

Pam

Permalink Reply by Nat on April 26, 2015 at 12:24am

Hi,

I've just joined the group. I'd like to thanks all of you for your great advice about confidence. I'm working on builting back my confidence and self-esteem. I've been diagnosed with Traction Alopecia. I took and did whatever I could to have my hair grow back but nothing work. I've now accepted that I have to live my life without my hair. It's been good to hear about other women's experience with alopecia. I am on the path of 'acceptance'; it's baby steps but still it is step, Some day it's harder than other, especially when I realized how I've been stressed internally and emotionally for so many years without being able to share that. It was a secret and I barely share this with people. I'm now at a point where I realized that I've lost so many years to Alopecia. I want a 'normal' and 'emotionally stable' life without hair. 

Please talk to me, share with me. I need stories of strong women to regain my confidence.

Thanks

Permalink Reply by PamFitros@boldlybaldwomen.com on November 3, 2014 at 10:49am

Great topic rj. So important to address an area fraught with self-consciousness and insecurity for many women struggling with hair loss.

Pam Fitros

Permalink Reply by Mark S. Hansen on November 3, 2014 at 2:44pm

I am 58, S, Nvr Marr, have had alopecia Universalis for 45+ yrs. I wore a wig for 35 yrs, finally took it off 10 years ago. I have never had a girlfriend or relationship in my whole life. I had sex onc when I lost my virginity at age 48. Thats it. So, I would like or would have liked to find a woman who, doesn't mind. So far, nothing.  I almost dont give a damn any more.

As far as confidence goes, we are social beings. and what pep say to us, behind our backs and what they dont say to us, affects us permiates us, and we often reflect that confidence or lack of it back out onto the world. So, like attitude, good, bad, sad or mad, confidence, or lack of it, does not just come from no where. It just does not happen out of the air or for no reason. It is to a large extent, the product of our experiences in life, those experiences we have every day, mainly revolving around people. My 45+ yrs of confidence has gotten me basically no where.

Permalink Reply by Dedi on April 6, 2015 at 8:08pm

It's funny....I just posted asking this question just a few minutes ago. I wish I would have waited before I posted a blog to read this feed!!! Thanks for this group! Although I am not sure where my relationship is headed...I want to be sure before I let him know of my alopecia. I confidence I guess...as long as I have my wig on. It's a subject that I don't even really discuss with family or friends! Idk...how to even start the convo!

Permalink Reply by goodlane on April 4, 2019 at 9:11am

Well, Kimberly William's just went up to my husband and asked him to have drinks with a bunch of people at work. When he arrived, nobody was there. Only her. He told me an " odd bald girl that didnt have friends" invited hi. and nobody was there!!! We decided he not go again! She stalked and hounded him. Got drunk like she does best waiting for him after work and next thing you know she was in an affair with him. She used pity for her bald head and not having friends. I assure you, he got smart and her game went on to the next guy. She uses hers as a way to get married med. Why she only dates married men, I'll never know. The men dont mind because up front she tells them that's what she does. It's sad really. My husband and I are in counseling. My medication and Illness causes hair loss. He doesnt care one bit. He loves me for me. If only kimberly understood, people can love her for her, not just her vagina.   As long as she stays away from us, we are happy.

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