Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by velvet on January 30, 2012 at 12:11pm

sorry that u r being blackmailed u shud tell some one as u shud not have to go through with that hugs inbox me whenever u need someone to chat to xx

Permalink Reply by Hallie on January 30, 2012 at 2:30pm

My name is Hallie =) I'm probably the youngest one in this group because I'm only 12. I'll be 13 in June though... I dont see how you guys keep your wigs on for even more than 1 hour! I have one and it bothers me way too much to wear! I've had alopecia scince I was 5 and It has been hard but if I look on the bright side, I notice that no matter what the heck I look like I'm still ME and If people are too stupid to see that then that is their loss!

Permalink Reply by velvet on January 30, 2012 at 4:39pm

welcome to the group Hallie hope u find it useful i think u mite just be the youngest one but by the sounds not the shyest i love ur attitude towards alopecia i think its great keep it up :) xx

Permalink Reply by Alex on June 12, 2012 at 1:24am

Hi Hallie :) I just turned 13 today so it ok :) If you put (this sounds embarressing) a piece oe pantyhose (xD) under your hair piece it wont bother you anymore :) i have also notice i started growing my eyebrows when i started talking to myself. Example: hey. hi. whats up? nothing just sitting in the car. no way me too! :)

Permalink Reply by Ben Vadnais on June 24, 2012 at 12:56pm

I don't see it as coping with it anymore, I used to a couple years ago...but coping is learning how to deal with something and frankly I don't need that stress anymore. The way I see it, is that there are countless other species with deformities and other harmless disorders, but they don't see a difference in each other. I love myself the way I am because I am just another organism here on this beautiful planet in the vastness of the cosmos, I don't really think it matters whether I have hair or not.
All my friends know I have alopecia, because I really don't want to hide it with a wig, I'd rather embrace it...some people choose to wear a wig and not tell people which is reasonable and I understand, I did want to a few years back but now that I've had it since I was 6 I've learned that if people want to say something or dehumanize me because of my disorder then go ahead and let them. Its their time that they're wasting, because I don't care what someone has to say about me, since its something I can do without. I was bullied once in school, when people talked down on me and didn't want to talk to me, but the moment you become an individual and rise above them is the time you get stronger. Be an outcast, be someone else, be someone that sticks out. I've found that people in the simplest sense will not mess with me now since they think I'm either a dark lord of the underworld or something, or a skinhead, or that I have cancer...which are all irrational reasons. If you want friends, I suggest you be completely yourself and not hide anything. The world would be a better place if everyone said what they meant.
Don't let people push you around, be strong.

Permalink Reply by Shanice on October 12, 2012 at 1:36am

In middle school it was pretty bad because people did bully me for it. I did find people in both middle school and high school that I told and who still loved me for me. I found it easier in high school to tell people about because I become more confident with it. I would tell anyone who asked. I didnt find a reason to lie so I told the truth. If your friends are truly your friends, then when you tell them about your Alopecia, it wont change anything but make your friendship much stronger. That's wont it did for me anyways. My friends and family are my support system (:

Permalink Reply by pop on June 5, 2013 at 9:41pm

hey I had it from the start of secondary school till my second to last year, I am now 18 and have discovered it is back I told a couple of close friends who where really supportive and would look out for any patches that might have shown. I didn't really get bullied but some people did notice and make the odd comment the closest thing to bullying was some stuck up girls making comments about me wearing a load of clips you get used to it after a while.

Permalink Reply by Jessica Hoschouer on June 18, 2013 at 4:36pm

I am honestly very glad that I have Alopecia it has helped me be more outgoing and fun loving!!!

Permalink Reply by Smurffx_ on August 27, 2013 at 6:38pm

i have alopecia since my 3th. untill my 16th birthday i always wore a bandana, i didn't wair my wig that much. but in school everybody was staring at me and stuff and i got sick of it, so as soon as i could get permanent eyebrows, i started to wear my wig everyday. at the beginning of every new school year i tell my new class what i have, so they won't judge me and i won't ever be bullied again. i did get bullied for this, and these girls just wouldn't stop, we'll one day i was so sick and tired that i kind of hit one of them, then we got into a fight. but after that they did stop :D . now sometimes when i walk on the street people call me names, but i really don't care. i wouldn't be the girl i am today if i didn't have alopecia. i know i was just 3, but i'm 100% sure it changed my life. not only mine, my friends lifes too.
a few weeks ago a friend of mine(we grew up togheter, we are friends since we're three) told me that she and one of her other friends (who doesn't know me) were walking down the street when someone who was physically disabled walked by and that girl that my friend was with started lauging and staring and she got mad. she told me that it's because of me that she thinks it's normal if someone is different and it's sick to laugh at them.

Things like that make me feel so greatx

Permalink Reply by Cody's Mom on September 9, 2013 at 10:02pm

My son is 16 and is in highschool. He has always been a popular boy. Since losing his hair, he has withdrawn a bit from his friends. He has a cap pass for school and a glasses pass to protect his eyes since he lost his eyelashed over the summer. When asked about it, he just says he shaves it. He doesnt go into details which scares me because he has always held everything in. Doesnt express his feelings which is why I am on here and he is not. :-) I am trying to educate myself everyway possible. So I can help him the best way I can. Sometimes, I feel like I just keep hitting deadends. I want to bad to protect him. Its just such a cruel world we live in.

Permalink Reply by Livkerp on February 17, 2015 at 8:57pm

Hey there, I'm a 15 year old girl who was diagnosed with AA in January of 2015. I'm a sophomore at a small, private school. I've lost about 80% of my hair in just a couple months, and I am in the process of starting to wear a wig. The thing is, I refuse to wear the wig unless it looks completely natural, for I am extremely ashamed of my condition. I know it isn't my fault, but I just don't want to be different. I'm afraid it will fall off or people will question it. Only 3 people outside my immediate family know about my condition, and it's really hard to deal with. I've sacrificed a lot since my diagnosis, and this lifestyle change is absolutely devastating. Any advice on wearing wigs to high school for the first time or just coping in general?

Permalink Reply by HannahLynn on March 5, 2015 at 3:28am

Hey!

I was diagnosed with AA when I was 13, just after starting high school (oh joy, awkward teenage phase + little to no hair) and have been living with it for the past 6 years, I've just started Uni this autumn.

I completely understand wanting to wear a natural looking wig.  Some people seem to be quite opinionated about that, saying things like "you only reach proper acceptance once you go out without a wig" etc. but I really believe that that matter is way too personal to make generalizations and everybody should decide for themselves. My personal attitude has always been that I don't want AA to have even more of an impact on my life than it already has. Even though I'm not ashamed of my condition and don't wear a wig around close friends and my family, I don't want to constantly have to explain myself to strangers or receive weird looks or pity from them... So wearing wigs has definitely helped me blend in :)

I didn't wear one for the first two years of living with AA, always covering my head with scarves and caps and such, which was stressful and people would come up to me and ask me if I had cancer etc, so getting my first wig was absolutely wonderful. The thing I was most surprised about was that most people really can't tell. And it would always seem so obvious to me, but unless people are looking for it they rarely pick up on the fact that it's not my natural hair. That was always weird to me, because ever since losing my own, I always pay close attention to people's hair and realising that most people just don't care that much was kinda liberating.

Just make sure you feel completely comfortable wearing it, take your time choosing one, ask friends/family to accompany you to get their input. Don't let anyone (such as over-eager sales ladies) talk you into buying something that doesn't suit your general style. 

Regarding people's reactions when I first wore my wig to school, I received some questioning looks for the first few weeks (and there was one asshole who made a mean comment), but after that people kinda forgot about it/had more important things on their minds than my appearance.

My first two wigs were short and when I got a longer one, I was pretty anxious that people would ask for an explanation as to why it was suddenly so long, so my friends came up with all these hilarious explanations, such as "Well, I participated in America's Next Top Model but was kicked out immediately after the makeover episode" or "Witness protection. If I told you, I'd have to kill you". In the end, no one really made a big deal out of it. Like I said before, people have more important stuff to do and unless they're looking through old photographs, they quickly adapt to your new appearance. Like, when other people get a haircut, you notice at first and after a while you forgot that they ever looked any different?

And re: coping in general: for the first few years I only told my family and my very best friend and I was so scared that anyone would find out and looking back now, I see that I really isolated myself, which didn't improve the situation much. Since then, I've grown much more relaxed and am generally more open about it. If people come up to me and ask directly, I will answer them. Letting people in has been great for me because it has helped me realise that, in a way, I can control how much power I'll give to this stupid condition. Of course, AA still greatly impacts my life and the way I behave (e.g. sleepovers at other people's homes, going swimming, the awkward "so, when should I tell them that that's not my real hair?" thing etc etc) but I don't want to miss out on life because of it. Also, I've learned how little appearance matter in the end. I am not defined by it. My friends don't think of me as "the girl without hair", they don't pity me or treat me any differently. They're friends with me because of my personality.

Obviously, most of this is just me speaking from my own experience and that doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do for you, but I hope it has helped you a little bit. Because if I could travel back in time and give my little semi-depressed 13 y/o self some advice it would be "Don't shut yourself away because of this, let people in (they'll surprise you) and live your life to the fullest. Also, don't get that wig with the blonde highlights that you'd never wear in real life, people asking for the name of your hairdresser is gonna be quite annoying!".

Feel free to send me a message if you have any more questions/just wanna talk :)

Have a wonderful week!

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