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Permalink Reply by OnlyChild1213 on April 1, 2017 at 3:14pm

I know this was posted a long time ago, as was the other discussion in this group, but -- it is such a complicated issue, and so specific to the individual.

I was diagnosed with alopecia areata twelve years ago at this point. I was twenty-two at the time and generally at peace with my assets and flaws (I'd be lying if I said this had nothing to do with the fair amount of external validation I was accustomed to getting), which admittedly helped a lot... and by now I've had a good long time to accept my now-severe condition in my apartment, alone with myself, which I truly do. I really have never hoped to get my hair back because everything I was reading and the way my hair loss was behaving made it seem unlikely.

But sometimes I feel like I must be full of it, because I do keep the condition totally secret from most people. It's not so much feeling ugly or "less than", than feeling cringe-y about inducing shock on others, or having the condition be all people can think about when interacting with me.

Also, while I see so many women on this site and in media who I find truly stunning, sexy and badass in their bald state, I just honestly don't feel like I quite have the face for it - at least per my own aesthetic standards. My natural hair, though it's never been everyone's cup of tea, in my opinion was one of my best outer features.

And I also know all of these considerations are pretty shallow and don't mean much in the long run. I guess my point is, you can embrace yourself but just have very strong preferences about what you like to see in the mirror, or feel weird or awkward broadcasting your personal circumstance out in the world. 


Do I rule out becoming more of an open advocate in the long run? Going out in all my bald glory? No. Do I think it might be damn liberating to walk in my truth at all times? Quite probably. But that's just me. And even I'm not quite there yet. 

xo