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kastababy

45, Female

Nashville, TN

United States

Profile Information:

Relationship Status:: Single
About Me:: I'm a walking contradiction -- I'm peacefully violent, a popular nerd, wickedly innocent, and loudly quiet...in other words, I know how to make myself stand out in a crowd. I have an opinion about everything, and have an endless thirst for knowledge. One of these days I'm going to take over the world, but I have yet to come up with what I want to do when I get that small task completed. (That, and I haven't found a good sidekick yet to drive the getaway car!) I have decided that this year is the year that I start writing more in the hopes that I finally get a story published!!! Now that Barack Obama has been elected President, I'm content to stay in the good old USA for a little while longer, although I still have my escape plan to Canada in a secure location in case things change. I'm political, controversial, well-read, stubborn, opinionated, and determined to make an impact on the world, and maybe leave it a little bit better than it was when I entered it. I'm always updating and changing things, so keep checking out my page often!

About my alopecia: I was bald as a baby, and my hair didn't really grow in until I was about 2 years old, so it's impossible to say if I had alopecia then or not. However, after my hair did grow in, my mother noticed two bald spots when I was 4 years old. One was the size of a dime, the other was the size of a quarter. When she realized that I wasn't cutting plugs out of my hair and it wasn't coming out on my pillow or in the hairbrush, that was when we started going to the doctors. I wasn't officially diagnosed with alopecia areata until I was 6 years old; by that time, I was in the 3rd grade and totally bald. I stayed that way, albeit with brief periods of partial regrowth, until I reached high school. My hair started falling out again when I was a freshman in undergrad, and it has been persistent AA with brief periods of AT and AU. It's been that way ever since.

As a child, I was very comfortable with being bald, because I had two parents and a grandmother that went above and beyond to make me comfortable with myself and stress to me continually that I was beautiful inside and that being beautiful inside would translate to being beautiful outside; perhaps it is because of this that I have become somewhat of an overachiever -- not only do I have to be successful at whatever I do, but I have to excel in it. However, as an adult, the blind confidence bordering on arrogance that was so much a part of me has gradually disintegrated. I have become less sure of myself and depressed at times because I have felt the hurt and rejection that comes with not being appealing to most men. I have lashed out at the people who have supported me the most, because I feel sometimes that I was misled into believing that at some point I would outgrow alopecia, but like Krazy Glue alopecia is stuck to me and won't let go, and that fact has been more crushing than anything I have felt in a long time.

After nearly 3 years living and working in Atlanta, GA and Memphis, TN, I returned to my hometown of Nashville, TN in September 2008. Living away from home completely on my own really forced me to become more independent than I ever would be had I remained in Nashville. It has also enabled me to view alopecia with new eyes that haven't been colored by the opinions of my friends and family closest to me. Since discovering Alopecia World, I have found more healing and acceptance in the nearly 4 years of the site's existence than I did in 27 years of searching, for which I am eternally grateful!

My purpose on AW is to motivate and inspire others -- it is my hope that in leading by example and living my life to its fullest potential in spite of societal views on alopecia, bald women, and women of color specifically, others will come to their own acceptace of alopecia in their lives and let their beautiful, vibrant selves shine through!
Do you have alopecia?: Alopecia totalis
Are you age 18 or older?: Yes - I am 18 or older
Your Website (Leave blank if you don't have one):: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/kastababy

Comment Wall:

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Kate

Wow! Your skin is amazing! I use some neutrogena things (ocassionally) already so think I will give them a go. Thanks for the advice! xxx

May 7, 2008
Cheryl, Co-founder

Yokasta, I can't wait to meet you!

May 7, 2008
kayla tucker

Thanks for the welcome Im going to try and get some pics up soon.

May 8, 2008
Bob Hershberger

Hi Yo Kasta..Just so you know,my comment on the "blog" about how men react to AA women,.I wasnt trying to direct my comment to you or anybody in paticular.Im sure you know that..I was just I guess venting,when all my flashbacks popped up from 30 or so years ago,when i couldnt get the time of day from any girl..My heart went out to you,when I read the thing about your old boyfriends birthday,and you were getting no response from any new men..I guess thats just how society is..I totally understand that "bald women" fetish thing the women are speaking about here,,That is so wrong..Anyway,I wanted you to know I was just putting the mens side of AA,which is extremely hard also..I thought I was doomed when I was going out exposed..All I got was stares,but there was one girl,who wanted to go out with me,just because I was so different..I guess we get a little of everything..Anyway,know I think your a great person,with a lot of carisma,and wish only the best for you.Bob

May 9, 2008
Bob Hershberger

Hi YoKasta..I wanted to wish you a Happy Belated Mother's Day..Sorry I forgot on Mother's day..Maybe because my Mom passed 30 years ago,I may have been bummed,so HMD..Your bud..Bob

May 13, 2008
Ever

Thank you for your answer on my question- nothing in life is predictable, don't know why this would be, I guess. It's really good to find people who understand

May 14, 2008
Amy Jo

so u made me sad by not writing bak on my wall...ok not really!!! ahha

May 15, 2008
as

Thank you, that the are me put like friend.I would like so does it do,but I don't know it.
as

May 16, 2008
Bob Hershberger

Hi YoKasta..I just wanted to say hello,and pop in-on-ya,so hey kastababy..Its a 100* today..Thank God I have air cond...I heard it was even warm in San Fran..Im sure glad they started this site..Its nice to have this form of communication with other AA people..The NAAF site is just a posting board.Here,we get to share pic's,music,I guess everything..Anyway,I hope your doing well,and having a great weekend,,I hope its breezy where your at..Its scorching here...Kepp-a-smilin.. : )..Your bud..Bob

May 17, 2008
Bob Hershberger

YoKasta..I noticed at a new persons web site,that she's saying something about "Endoncrine strengthener" that is suspossedly making her hair grow..Have you heard anything about this product..Id hate to get played..Its a new member named "Erin" from miami florida..The half of me that say's,"what the heck" is very courious..I wrote to ask her if she is part of the company?? So how ya been? Any great news..ok..regular news..I know..Mine's just regular,but I'll take it..Im happy to just smile : )..I wonder if this is worth pursuing? Im not sure if Im ready to be a guinnea pig just yet.. : )

May 21, 2008
Donna Evans

I have wanted to respond to your post for forever it seems like. I have always had a problem with low self esteem. I can’t remember a time ever that I didn’t wish I was someone else or different than I am in some way. I have always compared myself to others. I know now (with maturity) that no one is perfect and everyone has flaws but to me people always appear to be perfect. But, I think I’m coming out of that. This site has helped me so much. Just knowing that I’m not the only female in the world with a bald head has made all of the difference. Maybe that was the lesson I was supposed to get out of all of this. I think I’m a little less hard on myself just in the last couple of months. I shaved my head and just feel so much better. That ugly patchy mess was really bringing me down. You’re right, why make a change if the “hair” I have looks OK. I do hope to go longer next time though so I can pull it back if needed. Thanks for responding. You are an interesting person. I hope to hear more from you.

May 21, 2008
JeffreySF

Hey Kat,

Havent chatted in awhile. All is good with me. Hope you are having a great Holiday Weekend

Jeff

May 24, 2008
JeffreySF

Yo Kat,
Glad you had a blast in Nashville,
We had an LFB Night at the Ghetto Disco. It was awesome... Pics to follow.

LuvYa,
Jeff

May 26, 2008
JeffreySF

Ghetto Disco is a night at a bar called The End Up. Where everyone ends up. Leo's performers did a smash up job

May 26, 2008
Mike Vandebeld

Hello Yokasta....Really the name callinig is kinda a runnin' joke...and I'm really self secure about myself....and my friends do know better I just kinda thought it was a good was to open up,,,I have a very "A" type personality.(like yourself apparently) So like you I also know people only do what I let em' (most people are a little wary of me), as I have a large presence.....but anyway very pleased to meet you and I hope we'll talk again, after a quick look at your page you seem like a very strong and powerful woman, good to see...(too many weak minded people out there for my tastes)....
Is that your baby on the pic's.....very cute...I'm also a dad...and very proud..........

May 26, 2008
Drew

hey thanks for the comment. So far the acupuncture has done nothing for my hair that I have noticed (I shaved my head a few days ago so I really have no hair lol, but you can still see where the spots are). My acupuncturist said it could take anywhere from a month to 6 months for results. But I think I might go just because of the whole body treatment. I feel better, things don't bother me as much, which is great. It helps me relax, and I have less anxiety over this which is really nice. Plus it's cheaper than injections and doesn't have the side effects I've gotten from the steroids. I'll keep you posted on any results I get though.

Happy Memorial Day to you too. Unfortunately I still have to work today, but hope you enjoy your's. Hows everything going?

May 26, 2008
Diane

Bonjour Yokasta,
Thanks for your comment. I had a very busy week-end: it was my daugthers' birthday on the 24th (yes, they were born the same day... have nothing to do with it ;-)) and today, it is my husband's birthday.... Funny thing is that I've lost my hairs 6 years ago around the 20th of May (can't remember exactly when) but with my children, I'm so busy making them happy that I 'forget' about my lost and when the birthday rush is over (children + husband) I feel just good to be there with all my family!
Looking forward to meet you in person at the Conference,
Diane

May 26, 2008
Mike Vandebeld

Well very cute neices + nefews...Yeah..I have some leathery hide myself but anyway..My two kids are a boy 6 Reilly Griffon, and my beautiful daughter Trinity June 8 in sept. I'm very lucky..but I hope Our condition does not pass on...but I have heard of no really well defined hereditary links so I may get lucky....anyway again a pleasure to meet you, and remember if there's 6.5 billion people out the face of the planet, then the fact that of a few of them who dislike, or disagree with your viewpoint, doesn't really amount to much!
1/6,500,000,000. = 0%
Mikey V.

May 27, 2008
Mike Vandebeld

Yes...myself as well..I am well known for speakin' exaclty what i think...but I'm cooking my wife's birthday dinner so chat wtih ya later'....

May 28, 2008
LeslieAnn Butler

Actually, he is part Peke and part Papillon, I think. He's a rescue dog, and the sweetest and smartest dog in the world! I am crazeee about him!
Wow, I LOVE this music you're playing.

May 29, 2008
jennifer

Hi there! You are very articulate and can express yourself very well. I wanted to comment on what you said about not being appealing to most men. I think the right kind of man will see you for your character, your intelligence, sense of humor and who you are. Maybe you just haven't found him yet? I am firm believer that if one is kind, and respectful, then they will attract kind and respectful. BUT, one must trust enough to be open....which is the hard part. How have you been feeling lately? Talk to you soon, Jenn

May 29, 2008
Danna

You are positively funny and so like me it is weird. I am quite and yet outspoken. I can't shut up at times and that can get me in trouble. I am trying to think of things that I can do to express myself without saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Like providing too much of an opinion at work. I look forward to chatting.

May 30, 2008
Bob Hershberger

Hi YoKasta..Was just thinking about your journey to Nashville..And wonderd how did your trip go..Im sure you must of had fun,,Just sayin hello..Bob

May 31, 2008
Cheryl, Co-founder

Yeah, there is nothing like the first time, thrilling and exciting and freeing. Did you feel beautiful? Because you looked like you did and it was captured in the photos. I was really looking forward to meeting you this year, but I am sure we will meet you soon enough. cheryl xo

Jun 1, 2008
Cheryl, Co-founder

92 degrees... I can't wait, it is only 57 here today. I am glad you had fun. I hear the conference is in Houston next year.

Jun 1, 2008
Cheryl, Co-founder

Come one... me, you and rj walking down the street, who is going to touch us?! LOL!

Jun 1, 2008
Donna Evans

I'd love to try a few other styles in the same color but I have curse of the tiny head! I don't know why because my body if just an average size in every way. My head is even smaller now that it's shaved. I did try on some kid’s wigs and really loved one that was not much different than the one I have so I may order that one. Another problem is I live 6 hours away from the wig boutique and no one in my town (that I have found) is trained to cut a wig. The one good thing about that is that it's like a mini vacation when I go and my husband is always happy to go along. It's kind of a nice get away to the "big city". Did you add new pictures to your page? I like the ones in the blue shirt!

Jun 4, 2008
Carol

I'm feeling much better today, thank you YoKasta! You're a sweetie! Don't ever change! :)

Jun 5, 2008
Donna Evans

Well, we have the same taste in music. I like anything and everything. I'm listening to your list at work today.

Jun 6, 2008
Lise Marie Bordeleau

hi ... really like reading your page ...ty for sharing your pics and story....take care ...Lise

Jun 6, 2008
Mandy

Hey pretty lady! I replied to the blog comment you left me but in case you don't see it, here's what I said:

I hear ya, YoKasta...I have a feeling that the wig thing won't last long with me. I feel like I have bald headed rocker in me waiting to come out. LOL. But I'm just trying to be prepared because I'm guessing that when the time comes that I can't wear my own hair...I will probably freak out a little despite how cool and calm I feel now. So I want to have this wig as a safety just in case I freak out. From there I figure I will either like wigs and go get a nicer one...or it will last like a week and I'll say "screw this!" and rock out bald headed henceforth. :)

Thanks for commenting! You are a very inspirational woman, YoKasta. Just wanted you to know that soooo many people look up to you on this site (myself included). Keep being your awesome self. We love you!

Hugs,
Mandy

Jun 14, 2008
Salmezan

Why thank you Yokasta :)

Jun 14, 2008
Matt

Ha Ha. I've been told Hairy looks lke a "piece of chicken" and also an "inside out" cat. Yesterday, a girl saw Hairy sitting in the window seal and I heard her say, "ooooh, gross!" I think he is adorable. I've had AU for 3 years. It sounds like you have had it for a while.

Jun 15, 2008
Drew

Hey YoKasta, thanks for the comment on my blog about shaving, and thanks for the tip about the conditioner. Sorry it took me a few days to get back to you, busy with work. It's funny the girls who are on my 12 and under soccer team suggested I use conditioner also a few weeks ago when I first shaved my head, so I may have to try it. Luckily they've been accepting, and kids can be the most brutally honest without really meaning it.

How is everything going with you?

Jun 16, 2008
Julia

Ok...LOL...Don't delete this and don't be mad at me, but I could not resist...lol

Jun 18, 2008
Julia

Have an AWESOME day!

Jun 18, 2008
claire

thankyou for your lovely comments you are a great looking girl be proud of that dome...

Jun 21, 2008
claire

and your children are beautiful...

Jun 21, 2008
Mandy

Thanks for the blog comment Yokasta! Check out my new blog - I got my wig! I'm feeling so much better now and I'm ready to shave my head tonight! We're shaving it (me and my friends) when my roommate gets home from work at 12:30 in the morning. LOL. I'm gonna shave everything except for the front...the hairline from like ear to ear, ya know? Cuz it blends so nice in the front with the wig. Makes it look more natural. I think I'll be wearing my wig when I got out to bars etc (it makes me feel pretty!!) but I won't be afraid to rock out bald headed around the condo and when walking the dog and stuff. I'm very open about the alopecia and I don't care what people think...but the wig does make me feel pretty. ;o)

Luv ya babe!
Mandy

Jun 21, 2008
jennifer

Thank you for your honest opinion about squaric acid. The responses have helped me to decide not to try it. Thank you for taking the time to respond. Jenn

Jun 22, 2008
Dina

Oh, that is so sweet of you - thank you so much - I wish you the same!! xo :O))

Jun 22, 2008
Cheryl, Co-founder

Hi Yokasta, I am exhausted! LOL! I am at rj for another day and then I head back to Montreal tomorrow. Check out some of the photo's that rj uploaded as well as the videos. Only thing missing was meeting you!

Jun 24, 2008
Mandy

Hey pretty lady! How's it going?

Jun 25, 2008
JeffreySF

Hey Kat,

OMG it was so much fun.
How was your family get-together?

Jeff

Jun 25, 2008
Diane

Hi Yokasta,
Thanks for your comment on my blog. I was a little shy to write in English but from the comments I get, it seems OK. Too bad we did not meet face to face in Louisville.... How did you like it?
Diane

Jun 25, 2008
Mandy

OMG 80's parties are SO fun!! LOL. I can't wait to see the pics.

My week is going ok. Definitely getting annoying with wearing the wig. Ah well...I'll get used to it eventually. (I hope!)

I luv your Stewie background. :o)

Hugs,
Mandy

Jun 26, 2008
Mandy

The songs on my page are the theme songs from the two Kingdom Hearts video games. ;o) I'm such a nerd. LOL. If you'd like I can email you the song files. Just gimme your email and I'll send em your way.

Jun 26, 2008
Mandy

Oh man, you love Kingdom Hearts?! Now I love you even more!! LOL. Just sent ya the files. ;o)

Can I add ya on Myspace? I tried to before but didn't know your email. Now I do! Wanted to ask first tho.

Jun 26, 2008
Mandy

Hmm...I saw an email today saying the email I sent you with the song files didn't go through because the file size was too big. I'll try again tonight and send one song per email and we'll see if that works.

Jun 27, 2008
Yvonne~Yhoney

Yeah girl I am a die-hard Prince fan...I thought I was going to be one of his girlfriends back in the day... LMAO :)
This time of year in AZ is hibernation time... we don't come out until the sun goes down... :)
Have a good weekend!

Jun 28, 2008