• Female
  • Delmar, NY
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm 27 years old and I've been losing hair for about four years, though this last year has brought an acceleration of shedding. The hair loss is worst at my crown and on top of my head, but it's also diffuse; my scalp is eerily visible from either side if I pony tail my hair. I feel like my femininity is being attacked, and I also feel a (perhaps juvenile) sense of injustice that the intense stress in my life led to this CTE/ AGA when it was punishing enough in itself. I'm anticipating my wedding, and feel so fortunate to know and be loved by my fiancé, but I am loathe to plan the details of the big day (such as hair and photography) because I cannot imagine feeling beautiful, and it's painful for me to explain that to people who inquire.

That said, I do truly attempt to be positive. I'm trying to educate myself and to ask for the support I need to overcome this emotional hurdle. I welcome the advice and joyful perspectives of those who have maintained their sense of beauty through this challenging ordeal.
Do you have alopecia?
Other type of alopecia
Are you age 18 or older?
Yes - I am 18 or older

Feedingsparrows's Blog

4:00 AM Freak Out

Posted on December 18, 2014 at 5:00pm 2 Comments

I'm suddenly wide awake. It's totally dark and all I can hear is my white noisemaker. My jaw is sore from having been clenched hard during my sleep. I don't even have to get out of bed to check the time -- I already know that it's between 4:00 and 5:00 in the morning. The only uncertainty is whether or not I'll be able to fall back to sleep before my alarm goes off a few hours later. I feel sad because I had been sleeping, and, while asleep, I had had some respite from my…


What I've tried

Posted on December 13, 2014 at 11:30am 20 Comments

It took me a long time to realize the severity of hairloss that was in store for me.  At first, I assumed that the shedding was due to seasonal shifts and stress and that it would stop naturally.  I had plenty of hair and the slight thinning was noticeable only to me. In this stage, I tried Nioxin products and a grow-fast conditioner.  I had to switch back to Head and Shoulders when the cold weather led to dandruff, and the conditioner made my scalp itch, so I stopped using it.  I added…


Comment Wall (9 comments)

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At 5:03pm on May 20, 2015, Christy Ingram said…

Thank you for the request. I am really sorry it took me so long to respond. I haven't been on here for quite awhile and signed in at the same time. I have Diffuse Alopecia. I hope you gain much help and acceptance from this site....It has been very helpful for me. Take Care!

At 3:18pm on December 27, 2014, PamFitros@boldlybaldwomen.com said…

Hey there, Sparrows!

I've always been a take-what-you-like-and-leave-the-rest kind of person, but just like every other woman I've had to get used to the alien in the mirror before I was able to befriend her and then adore her.

You asked what the turning point was. It was self acceptance and escorting fear and shame to the front door of my self perception and booting them out. I am what I am, I am who I am. And I refuse to waste another moment of God's gift of life - a precious gift to be cherished - feeling unworthy.

The whole story is in Boldly Bald Women - as well as the stories of 25 other women I met through Alopecia World (including Cheryl, co-founder of AW). Everyone comes through the grief to a place of acceptance in there own time and way. I am working so hard now to be putting together an e-program to help with that, as well as interviews with experts and eventual podcasting. It is women like you who keep me pushing forward.

I get so frustrated at the current perception of bald women. The fact that I am not only comfortable in my own skin as a bald woman, but really love the freedom my bald head provides me makes it more important that I find ways for other women to see themselves as worthy and beautiful.

The truth is, I'm 64 years young, and I'm overweight and have arthritis in both knees. The other truth is that I have been called 'beautiful' more times now than I ever was when I was younger and thinner and had hair. Why? I know it is because I have accepted and love myself just as I am. And I have learned how to use my baldness as a tool to make life better for others who must deal with the emotional and social impacts of female hair loss.

How? One foot in front of the other, Sparrow, one foot in front of the other. Step by step. If I can do it, you can do it. If the other women in Boldly Bald Women have done it, you can do it too. You can reclaim your joy.

At 7:47pm on December 18, 2014, itzmejudy said…

I know it is difficult and some days feeling positive is hard. Hopefully we can all help each other through this. You are lucky you have someone who loves you no matter what.

At 7:42pm on December 18, 2014, itzmejudy said…

Thank you for friend request.  Every time I wash or comb my hair I get a handful of hair. I am always cleaning hair from my drain. I use to have beautiful hair and everyone always commented of how thick it was. I don't even have half the hair I use to. I have tried almost everything to grow it back and I am going to Dr. to get referral for to get shots in scalp to see if that works. You all are so brave in dealing with your hair loss. I feel like a wimp.

At 4:00pm on December 18, 2014, PamFitros@boldlybaldwomen.com said…

Hello FeedingSparrows!

In Michigan I'm feeding all sorts of birds by hanging  suet and seed blocks from the branch of a pear tree in my back yard. It's such a pleasure to see them all come for breakfast while I'm drinking my coffee in the morning.

Alopecia World has so much to offer you. I am an active member. Is there anything I can do to help you?


At 2:05am on December 18, 2014, LeslieAnn Butler said…

Hello and a warm welcome to AW!

How are you today?

At 9:10am on December 17, 2014, Anita Donath said…

Welcome to you!  Your story is awesome!  Keep your head up and your faith strong my dear friend!  I am not on here a lot - but will try to share with you when I am.  Love and Merry Christmas to you!

At 5:30pm on December 15, 2014, Kate said…

Hi there. No, I have not shaved my head yet. I keep my hair pretty darn short, like a short curly bob, and I continue to use Dermatch daily. My husband and dear friends have PROMISED to collaborate with me and let me know when it feels like it's bad enough to shave, and so far we all are coping with current state. In fact what we do is really better than coping - its more like living normally and happily. Most people couldn't care less the state of my hair thickness. Friends like me for me, professional peers value my work for it's quality, strangers accept me knowing everyone has something different about them. I think my point is that after several years, I have come to realize the discomfort of the loss is only very impactful to me, and it is only as impactful as I let it be. I still love clothing and shopping and sewing. I love to imagine how I would alter an outfit if I were to wear it bald. That's a coping mechanism for me, to imagine a future state and see that it's not really so bad. :) Keep reading and engaging in conversation here. It is therapeutic to let your worst fears be known, to show yourself just as you are, and to see that everyone here is going through the same thing and most of us end up in a good place. You will too.

At 3:03pm on December 15, 2014, Kate said…

Welcome FeedingSparrows. Love your name. Very gentle and happy. Getting involved in this space and reading the stories of others who experience hair loss was pivotal in me finding acceptance in my own circumstance. We are here to help.



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