So I haven't written a blog post in quite a while, it seems that I had forgotten that my Alopecia even existed for a while! A lot of you will be thinking that that is the worst thing to do, because it always seems to come back with a vengance, but not this time.
I suffer from AA, but when my hair starts to fall out it all goes from my head, but then after a while I do get regrowth! So the last time I fully lost my hair was Christmas 2013, it is now the summer of 2015! Yes I have lost my eyelashes and eyebrows a few times, but I havent lost a patch of hair on my head in that period. I would say I was elated at this statistic but I am nervously optimistic even to think about it. Losing my hair at 15 was probably the biggest challenge I had to overcome. Not because I was vain or anything, but because i was in school and I wanted to be normal. I wanted to have friends who just treated me like anyone else and didn't have to tip toe around me for fear of making me upset because they did not fully understand why I lost my hair from time to time and that actually it was not stress related.
But like any resiliant teenager, I had to get on with it and focus on my studies. It was a crucial time in my school career doing my GCSEs and then AS Levels and A Levels. In those short three years I lost my hair fully, four times. Holding your head high through all of that is a struggle but somehow I managed to do it. Then came university and in my first year, despite all my efforts of will power to make my hair stay, I lost it again. From my perspective it made it quite hard to make good friendships because I never felt comfrotable fully explaining my situation to people as I did not know them well enough at the time to be able to explain.
But after first year, I have not lost my hair, and even though it is something which crops up in my mind, I have not really though about it. I have been enjoying my locks and being able to go for my first hair cut in 5 years. It does not stop me thinking about everyone else who does not have any regrowth and who is losing their hair. I have been there, I know the emotional strain it puts on you individually but also for family and friends who sometimes just do not know what the right thing to say is.
However my battles are not over; I do lose my eyebrows and eyelashes quite frequently but nothing a bit of makeup cannot fix. I have also had another set back in my life through an accident at my summer job after being shot in the ear with a paintball. I have lost my hearing in my left ear and am unlikely to regain it. So even though it seems that for now my alopecia has given me a break something else has come to replace it. I know that i have been through so much and getting use to hearing loss is just another one of those things that is hear to test our patience and will power. But sometimes I do have to ask the question, why always me? I seem to get quite a raw deal out of life sometimes, as do a lot of people. I know everyone is living in their own little whirlwind but sometimes I need to know that I am not the only one having to go through an aray of problems which just seem never ending.
I know that there will come a day when nothing will really faze me, but until that day comes, I take one step forward all the time and occassionally stop to admire the view before trying to continue on my journey. Life is only what you make of it, and I have quite a lot of shit that gets thrown at me and sticks, but you just have to clean yourself off as best you can and carry on your way! For all those still struggling there is always someone having a rough time as well and remember if you let people in they will only want to help you in whatever way they can, sometimes you just need to tell them exactly what you need.
Never give up because there is always something good around the corner, we just have to be observant enough to notice it.