Comment by Maria, Mia's Mom on September 3, 2008 at 8:22pm

HI Maria,
well I read this and of course cried..I know what you are feeling because I feel the same everday..My daughter was aa, at and now very close to at again. Her being ridiculed is also my biggest fear. She started school Wed. Kindergarten. It was so hard for me I was cry so bad I had to leave the school before she went up to her class, this is the year were she will be eating and lining up with the BIG kids and boy are alot of them cruel..When she came home from school I asked how it went and she told me when she went to school they were all staring at her bald head in the lunchroom.. I asked how that made her feel she said I think I felt like a girl with a mountain with no grass on her head..MY HEART BREAKS FOR HER, but she chooses to not wear a wig or a bandanna any longer..needless to say the next day her teacher told my she cried at school something my daughter left out to me..I guess we need to be stronger but HOW I ask? I too wish people would make it a point to teach their children how to be better people. Sometimes the parents need to learn also.. ONe thing I would like to add is doesnt bother you when its the parent that just STARES.. THe only thing we can hope is that our children are stronger than us...and maybe a cure will be found...
GOOD LUCK AND ALWAYS STAY STRONG>
Maria

Comment by Lori Powers on September 3, 2008 at 8:28pm

I have to second Rosy's comment. I will never know what it's like to have a child with AA/AT/AU, but I know that there's no way I could get through it without the love and support of my husband and son. My mother cries when she sees me (which helps not at all).

Your beautiful Savanna has you and her brother and the rest of her family to keep her strong. To build her up and explain that people sometimes laugh at things they're afraid of. And that she is a special girl.

Comment by Diane on September 3, 2008 at 9:27pm

Have you ever attend a NAAF conference with your daugther? This experience is fantastic. I wish such event existed when I was young (I've grown up with alopecia). You are a great mom and your daugther is a very special kid! Love, Diane

Comment by MARIA (mom of Savanna) on September 3, 2008 at 10:16pm

I just want to say Thank you to everyone who has commented on my blog...It makes me feel better that so many people do understand...Diane no I haven't attended the NAAF but I am hoping that will be in our future soon. Bogie these kids dont go to her school, they are in another district which I am not really sure which one, she attends a small school and everyone there treats her wonderful, but that is a really good point that needs to be addressed.

Comment by Carmella on September 4, 2008 at 10:10am

What a mature response from her. I would have said something like "You shouldn't act so ugly." and I'm 27!! She sounds like a little firecracker. Hope you're both feeling healed at least a little today.

Comment by Sharon on September 5, 2008 at 12:01am

Hi Maria I just wanted to send you a big hug. I can relate to what you have been thru 100% as our daughter is AU she is nearly 12. It is the hardest thing in the world to let your kids go out into the world on their own, but as others have said your daughter is sooo lucky to have such a beautiful caring mother at home to support her and to pick her up when things do get rough.

I am a teacher who is big on talking to my class about accepting others for who they are not what they look like. Generally with knowledge children will be supportive and understanding. I would also like to say that your daughter will be ok, our daughter started intermediate this year which is part of a high school so the same thing she was all of a sudden in a school with BIG kids. She has had a few testing moments but has come thru them ok. She knows she has alot of people who luv and support her, watch out anyone who takes her on lol!!

Take care you are doing an amazing job, that song is just awesome think I will share it with my class. Thanks

Regards Sharon

Comment by Char on September 5, 2008 at 8:41pm

Talk about making me cry. I feel for your little girl. Everyday I try to hold my head high and take everything with a grain of salt, but I still see those stares. I still hear those comments. It's very fustrating but it's part of the society that we live in. I just think about all those people who aren't like that, and they outweigh the number of people who have no compassion. They are the people I can open myself up to and be myself with no concern. I pray that you're daughter finds friends like these that will help her become comfortable with who she is.

Comment by Cindy on September 8, 2008 at 1:54pm

Maria, I cried as I read your blog. Like all mothers, fathers and parents I share your same fears. Our girls are the same age. You were so strong for Savanna at the moment you needed to be for her and weak in a private moment. I would have reacted the same way. The best thing we can do for our kids in continue to give them encouragement and build their self-esteem and let them know that it does not matter if they have hair, they are the same person with or without. Because Samantha wears a wig or another covering we have had no issues. But, I will say that Sam has walked over to a few people at times and tells them she has no hair and why. Lucky for her she has had empathetic responses. But, it is the one response that isn't so nice I worry about. The important thing is for our kids to feel comfortable in their skin and with who they are. If they can do that, then a few unkind words won't break them, only make them stronger. I can't wait to hear how school went today with the new hair...

Comment by Lyndsey on November 10, 2008 at 12:35pm

I loved your blog... it is so true that kids are horribly cruel. My daughter Lyndsey is 8 and we are waiting on a definitive diagnosis. She has lost a large patch over the top of her head... it is think like an infant's hair. She is trying to be positive and her friends aren't being accepting at all. I've spoken with parents and her teachers who really aren't helping her to hold her head high and accept who she is. She has total faith in God and when she says her prayers at night she says, "I know this is what you have planned for me..." and it breaks my heart. I know she is stronger inside that I am at that point as this is when I break into tears. She has always been loving and supportive of other people no matter what the dilemma is. I only hope she can find friend who can be loving and accepting of her hair or no hair for the beautiful, nonjudgemental person that she is inside.

Comment by Shana and Taylor on November 25, 2008 at 12:35pm

Oh Lord! That made me just about cry! Nothing like that has happened to me before except for on the bus one time. A boy was sitting by me and he looked at me and yelled " What's wrong with your head, Taylor?" in such a rude way and then said "Your BALD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hhahahhahaha! " And my throat dropped into my stomach. I was devastated. I know how she feels.


Have a great day
Taylor


Taylor.

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