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Ugh
I am soo tired of people complimenting my hair and then when i say "thanks" they follow it up with "its so shiny hard to believe that's not a wig" SERIOUSLY!?! I mean even if you suspected it was a wig why would you say that or ever ask a stranger a question like that? to me it just seems rude. I am tired of my "hair" being shiny. I am tired of not feeling like i am normal. I dont feel I should have to tell people, its not really anyones business. I had a situation last weekend where my boyfriend and his cousin got into it at our home, i was not even in the room mind you and by the next day on face book no lesss they are still going at each other, and the girls father says to my boyfriend "I heard your thinking of leaving your girlfriend because you think she wears a wig" REALLY? We have been together for over 4 years, i had a brief conversation with him about it in the begining about how my hair does not grow, he never asked any questions and has never mentioned it again. I think if he was going to leave me because of it he would have done so by now. In my heart I know that its not true but seeing someone say that has seriously bothered me and made me feel awkward and abnormal. tired of feeling like this. I just want to be Normal :(
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Comment by Tallgirl on March 11, 2011 at 10:49am
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I get 2-tone or 3-tone layered wigs not to eliminate the shiny, I don't date, and I only seriously talk to men who understand and accept the alopecia. Why waste time on people who are going to break your heart eventually? I have been there, done that. But if that father in your story is WRONG, your boyfriend needs to stand up for you...be your knight. This would be true in a family, friendship, romance or marriage. If your boyfriend doesn't do that, especially now when the issue is ripe, then...why is he with you? Sex only? Watch what he does in the next week. Sometimes Facebook reveals all.
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Comment by clare majka on March 11, 2011 at 11:11am
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Hi Jennifer I feel your. Pain. I also have had things said to me when I have my wig on. I don't wear it unless I am going for a night out and then I put a Hat on top of it. Sometimes people don't have a Filter And they just say what they think try not to take it so personally. I think your boyfriend needs to talk about it because it is such a big part of our everyday lives. It affects my self esteem a lot. Right now my hair is coming back in only two more spots and my head will look better. Still really short I can handle that. A lot of times I wear a Bandana as it looks more like me when I look in the mirror I send you lots of luck and hugs Clare x
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Wise words, Alice! You came up with aspects I did not. I like the "I am just unbelievable" line...best attitude! :)
As to the men-quiet-when-they-can't-fix-something...that should be a blog in itself! But...how do we tell them that we love them anyway, beyond the fixing thing...that listening and accepting are the real balms?
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Thanks everyone, I know he loves me I really do. I am not so much concerned with him leaving me, I dont think he will. Its just the rudeness of people in general . I am just tired of it. My second job is a very public one. I interact with hundreds in a few hours and while i get a lot of compliments on my hair, i also get a few that say "hard to believe its not a wig" And thats when my insecurities kick in and make me unsure of myself. My hair, before i lost it was always one of my attractive qualities. and losing that made me feel like i lost everything. Its been 13 years and I still most days have a hard time dealing with it. it also does not seem as if a woman wearing a wig is as acceptable as say a push up bra, or fake fingernails, makeup ect. so sometimes i feel like i should be hiding
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Comment by R0BB on April 12, 2011 at 3:31pm
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First of all - Facebook to me , is a result of too many people with too much mis coordinated time on their hands. I used to think that us adults become more and more mature and civilized as we get older. Facebook society seems quite the opposite. He said she said crap about stuff that isnt worth the ip address its sent out on !! In 1990 , I couldnt care less what my buddies buddy had for lunch or what they did for the weekend or what they thought about anything for that matter.
Jennifer - I think its horrible that people involve themselves in 2nd and 3rd party commenting and gossip online.
I think back in the 50's thru 70's the majority of women wore wigs and it was indeed the norm. People had more respect for one another back then also , kept their mouths shut and knew the meaning of confidentiality and class.
Valerie was spot on with the comparisons to padded bras , excessive makeup etc etc
My guess is also that if your hair was an issue with your BF , it would have come up shortly after you told him.
Now , if we could only manufacture and equipped ourselves with cans of F%^CK OFF SPRAY , maybe we could
swat off these nasty beligerant loud mouthed mean people and get on with our lives.
- Peace
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Comment by Bernard Stevens on July 31, 2011 at 9:36pm
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Hey Jennifer, how are you doing? I haven't been on the site in a while. Saw your "Ugh" post. I had a customer say to me the other day, "Is that a wig, you're too old to have that much hair"! needless to say. he didn't have much hair himself! haha! I am in the Buffalo area if you ever need someone to talk to. Peace, Bernie
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