Please, no more sympathy!!!!

After struggling with Alopecia and several new patches for almost a year now I've gotten that I bought by first wig only a week ago. At first it was the alopecia ophiasis pattern but now my hair on top is really thin and I've got patches everywhere and even in the front. The strange thing is that I've got new little hair on the sides of my head and I still hope that all my hair is going to come back one day.

Anyway. I wore my wig to a wedding last weekend and some people asked me to what hairdresser I'm going etc...well you know what a wig is like...you're hair looks so perfect. There was this one woman though, a hairdresse, and she must have noticed the wig and she talked to some people about it. So some of our closest friends came up to my fiancee, asking if they need to worry about me or my health because my hair would be a lot different than normally. Others came up to me and started real sympathy talks with me.

I hated that! Some people think I'm a cancer patient and they make me feel more sick than I actually am. I also hate those people who feel sorry for me all the time! All these comments like "oh my god...what can I do for you?.... are you really stressed.....are you ok blablabla" make me feel really retarded, sick, small, different etc.

Views: 9

Comment by Carol on June 9, 2008 at 9:04am
It's going to happen and eventually you'll get used to it. It's all about finding the right reply and having the right attitude which you will figure out in time. If people ask me how long I've been receiving treatments I tell them "30 years". I think they get the point then that I don't have cancer. Sometimes the pity can come in handy, like at the bank where the line up is always long and timely. Go ahead, you tell that 70 year old lady who let you butt in front of her that you'll live longer than her anyways. If you ever want to get that hairdresser back for making you feel embarassed you can always go to her salon without a wig and complain how she made your hair fall out! LOL Good luck!
Comment by Mandy on June 9, 2008 at 9:55am
Yeah I think you're always going to get some people that make you feel this way. But just rise above. These people don't matter.
Comment by MO gal on June 9, 2008 at 10:52am
I went through this for a long time. When I had to show my drivers license to cash a check and so forth I always got the same comment...." why did you cut that long pretty hair off" I just started taking it day by day and sometimes when I felt frisky I would reply somewhat smartmouthed and say things I probably shouldnt have lol. But indeed it gets old pretty quick.
I sometimes think thats one of the hardest things to deal with with this disease is the looks and pity from some people.
Huggers...and I hope it gets easier for ya!
Comment by Nicole on June 10, 2008 at 9:26am
That was always the hardest part for me to.....when other people felt bad for me it just made me feel bad for myself..... when they would say "i am so sorry...I can't believe it....you must be devistated...why do bad things happen to good people"...things like that would set me off and then next thing you know I'd be holding back tears and feeling bad for myself.......After a while I just got to the point where I would just tell people that their sympthay only hurt my feelings....I am fine and healthy it's hard but it could be worse...the more I said it the more I believed it.....now I joke about it all the time so everyone knows I am fine with it! But that is after 3 years of living with it.......it's hard at first and I know this sounds impossible but ater a while you get use to it and the sympathy remarks and they don't bug you so much....with alopecia it's such an adjustment that everything is a struggle at first but it get easier :)
Comment by kastababy on June 22, 2008 at 6:02pm
Wow, I don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said. Carol, Mandy, MO gal, and Nicole are all correct -- it's about finding the correct response, rising above, and getting used to the ignorance of others. Like my grandmother used to say, ignorance can be fixed, but stupidity never goes away! Hugs to you and hope that you have better days!!!

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