Alopecia World
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All in your mind
Lately I have been thinking
If you knew you looked amazing and people stared at you would you think they are staring because you're ugly? - NO, you would think "hey I look great and got a lot of attention today."
If you felt great and went outside with your head held high why would any stares scare you?
It's all in your mind, that stereotype that if you are stared at you probably look bad. All the stars get stared at, a lot of beautiful girls/men get stared at and they certainly don't think that they're ugly.
What is wrong is the thought that if you even are called bald it's bad. But what are words? they mean nothing until we give them certain meaning, and bald is only the fact that a person doesn't have hair it has no negative or positive meaning by itself until you create it.
Before alopecia I had long blond hair and as I can remember I have never been offended if called blond - it's the truth, I am blond, and I have nothing to be ashamed of, because I like it and that's just what I am. Blond has no bad meaning in my vocabulary because it's only a fact.
So why does it have to be different with bald? Yes I am bald - it's a fact and when I create a positive meaning to it it can no longer offend me, can it?
I've been stared ad a lot lately, especially by children and old ladies. Some (a bit drunk) men even laughed or said something to me. But I know that I have achieved my goal when I have this kind of reaction, because no one would laugh or scream if they thought that the person is sick ( you know the questions about cancer...) - so they think it's my style, it's what I choose to look like and that's ok:) It's better to make them believe that I have a crazy sense of style then to make them think I'm sick and need pity.
p.s. People stare at something interesting, something that catches their eye and the meaning you create to that stare is all in your mind and you can ether create a positive meaning to it or negative (Personally I prefer the positive one:D).
If you knew you looked amazing and people stared at you would you think they are staring because you're ugly? - NO, you would think "hey I look great and got a lot of attention today."
If you felt great and went outside with your head held high why would any stares scare you?
It's all in your mind, that stereotype that if you are stared at you probably look bad. All the stars get stared at, a lot of beautiful girls/men get stared at and they certainly don't think that they're ugly.
What is wrong is the thought that if you even are called bald it's bad. But what are words? they mean nothing until we give them certain meaning, and bald is only the fact that a person doesn't have hair it has no negative or positive meaning by itself until you create it.
Before alopecia I had long blond hair and as I can remember I have never been offended if called blond - it's the truth, I am blond, and I have nothing to be ashamed of, because I like it and that's just what I am. Blond has no bad meaning in my vocabulary because it's only a fact.
So why does it have to be different with bald? Yes I am bald - it's a fact and when I create a positive meaning to it it can no longer offend me, can it?
I've been stared ad a lot lately, especially by children and old ladies. Some (a bit drunk) men even laughed or said something to me. But I know that I have achieved my goal when I have this kind of reaction, because no one would laugh or scream if they thought that the person is sick ( you know the questions about cancer...) - so they think it's my style, it's what I choose to look like and that's ok:) It's better to make them believe that I have a crazy sense of style then to make them think I'm sick and need pity.
p.s. People stare at something interesting, something that catches their eye and the meaning you create to that stare is all in your mind and you can ether create a positive meaning to it or negative (Personally I prefer the positive one:D).
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Comment by Alliegator on June 2, 2011 at 10:12am
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Love this! I just posted a story about the same topic, and it is all in your mind!
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Comment by Andie on June 2, 2011 at 8:14pm
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Exactly :-)
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Comment by Aunt Janet on June 3, 2011 at 3:58am
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I know, I just love the cancer question. How many treatments have you had? For what I ask? They just point to my lil bald head. Oh, that I'm not sick. Then they just look at you stupid.
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Comment by Tiffany P on June 3, 2011 at 6:21am
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I tottally agree sometimes you put more into something then there is and one has to be careful not to automatically put a negative spin on things.
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Comment by Calipso on June 3, 2011 at 6:24am
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Yes, it's very easy to think of bad things when they are constantly on your mind.
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Comment by carol on June 6, 2011 at 10:16pm
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I have said this for a long time people will look but we seem to assume its because we are being judged negatively, I stopped looking into peoples eyes and waiting for a reaction, now I just go about my business and often forget that me being bald is not usual, not bad just not a typical look.
And really everyone has got so much going on in their lives that I may be a 2 second thought for them,
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Comment by Maureen on June 12, 2011 at 11:24am
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I just recently started going out in public bald. No, I don't do it all of the time (yet!) but when I do I found the comment that Carol made: "I stopped looking into peoples eyes and waiting for a reaction, now I just go about my business..." is the way I have been handling it too.
I have decided to get a tattoo of a Lotus flower on my head! The lotus flower symbolizes overcoming a hardship and becoming, or embracing, the beauty that lies within. That is perfect for me! Plus, if people want to stare at my bald head I figure I can really give them something to look at this way!!! ;)
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Comment by Ilia Reed on June 21, 2011 at 2:07am
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some may even be envious when staring at our looks. Whatever the case we are not here on earth to please everybody's taste or preference. nicely said: this is what I am.
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Comment by Tiffany Marie on September 29, 2011 at 3:07pm
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Right on! I couldn't have said it better myself, people will always have their own opinions but we have nobody to impress but ourselves. Bald is beautiful :)
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