I feel like alopecia has always stood in the way of my happiness. Which is silly considering there are people in the world dying-- still living their life-- and are far more positive than I.

I lost all my hair when I was 4. I vaguely remember it. All I remember is my wig falling off once during recess, and a circle of teachers and students formed a circle around me. I'll never forget that. For years after that-- classmates would randomly bring it up, and I would play dumb.

My hair grew back by 1st grade. Thick and long. 5th grade-- it started falling out again. Until about 2ish years ago (I'm now 29) did it start getting harder and harder to cover the spots. Now, there's only a few measly strands left.

I feel like I'm slowly giving up, but I don't want that. I want to be happy and accept this part of my life. It's hard because growing up no one in my family talked about it. Even when my hair started falling out again... Everyone just pretended it didn't exist... Therefore, leading to me hiding and holding it inside. Still. All these years later.

It's time for a wig, and I don't know what to do. Where to start? What to get? How to take this huge step? And with what money?

I don't want alopecia to control my life anymore.