Hello My Fellow Hair Challenged Friends,

Yes-I have a story. We ALL have a story regarding how and when it began. My alopecia started 16 years ago, I was 25 and noticed two hairless spots on my otherwise hairy head. My derm diagnosed me swiftly and coldly; injections began. Regrowth, fall out, repeat. And then one day it became clear that mine was a losing battle. A Freedom Wig came, and eventually tattooed eyebrows...Although I detest them, I'm known to put on false lashes now and again when I'm feeling fancy. After leaving my husband back in 2008, I never thought I'd find love again. I have-several times! I've been in relationships in which I told the man, sometimes at the beginning, sometimes not as quickly; yet I have never found it to be a dealbreaker for anyone. That was my biggest fear. Though I'm not in a relationship at the moment, I no longer fear telling the person I'm dating, I'm an old hat at that now (pun intended), and it does get easier. I get a monthly massage at a local Massage Envy. I try different massage therapists, but always stuck with women, because I take off my hair. Months ago, I had Steven; I told him I would be taking off my hair and he was like.."and?"..What a gift he was! Yesterday I had Kyle. I told him I'd be taking off my hair and during the massage I joked around a bit about it, after it was over he said, quite seriously, to 'stop being my own bully!'....Stop being my own bully. I do use humor to cope, and  use humor regarding my alopecia, but Kyle has a point. When it comes to dealing with alopecia, I feel like I've done well. I now have 2 freedom wigs, I have a stylist who gives me a blow out every 7-10 days; as she washes my hair, I sit, reading a book at her station, bald as a bean. It doesn't matter who see's me; but I have been known to tell the occasional kid not to worry, I'm not dying ; )

When I first joined this group years ago, I saw a lot of sadness, helplessness, confusion in the newbies; and from those who had been dealing with alopecia for a long time, I saw an intolerance to those feelings (I won't name names ) and a kind of sterness that lacked the empathy I had been needing. I went to my support group and found I didn't quite belong there. I have alopecia--but I am not alopecia, I found that I didn't want to devote 90 minutes a month to alopecia! That said, I do feel the support groups are hugely beneficial for so many people.

Maybe I was looking for someone to walk for me through this journey and when things truly changed for me was when I started walking it, strong, unfaltering, alone. We all have an alopecia story; mine started in April 1999, but we are not that story. I refuse to reduce myself as Juliewithalopecia. I am a lot of things, someone who is on a new road to not 'be her on bully', might be one of them and someone who is enjoying each moment in this precious life; the days come and go, with hair or without. Joy is a choice I choose, with hair or without. To anyone who has just been diagnosed or to everyone who is struggling to cope--the sun will shine again. xoxo