Comment by Alexandra on December 10, 2009 at 10:20pm

I'm not bald, so I can't share firsthand experience about that, but I do have hair loss (female pattern baldness) to the point where I have experience with the whole dreaded "when do I tell him?" scenario. My advice would be to wait until YOU like HIM and feel like he is worthy of knowing. Don't feel like you owe it to a man to share every detail about yourself with him on the first date. To me, that sounds like you'd want his approval - and that's like saying him and his opinions have power over you. On that note, I wouldn't wait until things get serious to tell him either. I would tell him after a few dates, when you're pretty sure you could see it going somewhere. By this point, you won't be so attached where it would really hurt if he doesn't want to accept you, or you would know that he truly doesn't mind and you can continue the dating/relationship without worrying.
I've been on a bunch of dates with guys since this whole hair loss thing started and I never told any of them about it on the first date. It was because I didn't think they were special enough to be let in to that part of my life yet. (If I don't walk around bald it's because I don't want the world to know right away- that carries through to dates too.)
I ended up telling the guy who became my boyfriend for a short while there (you can read more about that in my blog, if you'd like) and at first he seemed accepting of it, but it soon came out in the wash that it actually made him a little uncomfortable. The relationship was bad on many other levels, though, (the hair situation was the least of it) and so I broke up with him.
My best friend of almost 6 years - who is a guy - knows about my hair loss, too, and is so completely and genuinely loving, accepting, and supportive of me still knowing what he knows. He doesn't care. He tells me all the time that I'll still be the most beautiful woman in the world to him even when he can see his reflection in my scalp (his words, haha) and that I am the most wonderful, amazing person he's ever known - and being bald would never change that. Guys like this do exist. Don't feel like you have to settle for a guy just because he's "ok" with your alopecia. You deserve to be treated like the amazing, lovely, wonderful, beautiful woman you are. And trust me, if you think positive thoughts, positive things will happen.
Best of luck!
Alexandra =)

Comment by Danielle on January 4, 2010 at 12:58am

Hey Stephanie,

I went through everything you are right now with guys. My response has been quite different every guy I have told has been very accepting about it so they are out there. As for when is the right time to tell them, the right time is when you are ready too. If they are worth having in your life they will understand. It is a very difficult conversation to have with a guy i know (especially since i am only 24 and most guys only care about what you look like at this age not who you are as a person or so I thought). You just have to be confident and let them know what is up with your less then hairy situation so i call it. Trust me there is a guy out there that will see you for who you really are no matter what is up top. And what you are is a beautiful woman with so much to offer to a very lucky guy just keep you head up and smile cause you never know who is falling in love with it right now :-)

Comment

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page