Comment by Tallgirl on January 22, 2013 at 10:29am

Ella, part of your answer is already in your own profile bio: you have a career coming up where people will NEED you, and from that and those fabulous friendships and family, you will gain strength and affirmation. The second part is that all-pervasive, alopecian social worry. How can you label yourself an outcast after one day in class with a new look? Did you smile? Talk normally? Cower? People will remember what we ourselves tell them about ourselves, and they take that lead and build on it. So, nip the fear in the bud and plant seeds of nonchalance and humor, wit and smiles. Add some fashion pizazz, nice scent. Ask intelligent questions in class so others see your smarts. Invite other intelligent souls to coffee and conversation after class, or to study together. When I started over in a new town, I grew my OWN social group by inviting the 10 most interesting people I had met in a month to a potluck at my apartment. The next month, all of THEM had to come with 10 of the most interesting people THEY had met in the last month. After several months, my apartment was teeming with other artists and designers in my age group, networking and laughing. Who says YOU have to fit in with THEM? Make it become the other way around by INITIATING a social group for your college years. Maybe the theme could be people who accept differences, or are kind and open. You will know who they are: just look into their eyes and listen to what they say.

By the way, it is winter and there is snow in the UK. Wear a dang hat.

Comment by Mary122184 on January 23, 2013 at 10:36pm

Hey girl. I lost my hair gradually during my senior year in high school, but it was so slow not too many people noticed...except for me of course. Then maybe a month after I graduated it all fell out. I ended up shaving it and it was the greatest decision of my life. I'm in my second year of college now, and am on my third synthetic wig. I have dated three guys in college as well. I have met many friends, joined and sorority and found my best friends here. They know I wear a wig but they look past it. My best friends have seen me without it too. I guess its your personality that makes people look past it honestly. Thats what my boyfriend tells me. Actually I usually forget that I have fake hair because it seems so normal with my friends. Before Austin and I were offically together and just going on dates he causually asked me, "Hey, why don't you just grow out your own hair?" I answered because I have alopecia areata and had it since I was 18. My hair fell out and I was upset about it, but realized that hair is hair...whether you grow it, dye it, cut it, or just buy it. It just doesnt matter. So many things can happen in your life. If people care that your bald, then they don't know what life is about. Just be confident and act like nothing is wrong...because nothing is wrong. You're lucky you're in college, because people seem to care alittle less about appearence.

Comment by april on January 26, 2013 at 12:44am

I understand how sometimes you want to shrink to about the size of a mouse when it seems everyone is staring. For the most part, I have gotten used to it, but sometimes...I wish I looked like I used to. I finally just ditched the wigs and hats and almost always just go bald now. I realize you are at an age where it is harder than for me at age 50. Just know that I have had so many people (patients, co-workers, strangers) tell me how much they admire that I am confident and just an all around inspiration to others who are bald from chemo or whatever.
I try to find solice in the fact that compared to others who are really sick, I can handle this. This will be a time for others to see that they beauty within is so much greater than anything else.

Comment by Diane on January 26, 2013 at 7:43pm

Wow Ella-you have more strength than I ever had at your age and I'm pretty kick-ass now. You're going to be just fine but I know that doesn't seem like much help now.Stay true to yourself and nurture your closest friends-and I believe you do have some -or you will because people will be drawn to your strength

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