Signe is 11 and on her third, and most aggressive AA loss. The first two times she was young enough that it didn't really affect her, it was much easier to cover and we just rolled with it. However, "rolling with it" has become much more difficult because of advancing age and meaner kids. It doesn't help that Signe suffers anxiety and is a perfectionist.

A few weeks ago, after months of "creative hairstyling", adjusting to hats in school and finally, a wig, Signe said she was ready for me to talk to her class about her condition. She opted to sit with the school counselor outside of the classroom while I spoke to her class. Here is a brief dialogue of how I presented it to her class (thanks, in great part, to ideas I gleaned from this website).

Me: "Do any of you have allergies?"...to which about half of the class raised their hands and started offering up their respective allergens.
Me: "Are your allergies contagious?"...which was followed by indignant "no's" and "of course not's".
Me: "Well, Signe has an allergy, too, but it's not to cats or pollen...Sig is allergic to her own hair. And just like your allergies, Signe's isn't contagious. She is very healthy. However, her allergy is making her hair fall out. Can you imagine how difficult that is? One of the great things about Signe, though, is that she's pretty tough and she's beautiful and smart and bald spots don't change any of that. I'm sure you've noticed that Sig had been wearing hats for awhile, but lately she's been wearing a wig. I know you all don't wear wigs, but they are kind of hot and uncomfortable and not much fun now that the weather is getting warm. She would like to lose the wigs and go back to wearing hats and maybe even scarves or nothing at all, but she's worried that people will stare and make fun of her. I'm here to answer any questions to might have about this condition, called Alopecia Areata. I think if you know what it's about, you can help Signe be brave when other people are staring or saying things that are unkind. I'm counting on all of you to be good friends to Signe."
One of Sig's closest friends...who has known for several months: "Do you think Signe wants people to ask her about being bald". CLearly, Sig had "planted" her friends with questions and it delighted me that each of her "posse" of closest friends had a question that I knew Signe had talked to them about. I nearly choked up, but made it through.
One Boy: "So, if I eat a sandwich and it's got one of Signe's hairs in it and I eat it, will I get what she's got?"
Me: "No, you'll just get a hair in your sandwich. Gross."
Another Boy: "If Signe wanted you to shave your head to me like her, would you?"
Me: Hesitate. "Of course I would, but don't give her any ideas!" Giggles all around, followed by, "I'm SO telling her!".
Many other questions followed and were all simply addressed. I left the room, walked into the hallway and burst in to tears. A teacher walked out of her room, walked up to me and said, "you look like you could use a hug", which I did.

It's not the end of the story, but it did ease Signe's transition back in to hats. The hardest part was a week later when an acquaintance who subs at the school walked up to me and said (with only good intentions, I know this woman), "I'm so glad you talked to Signe's class, good for you. Now maybe that will put an end to the talk that she's pulling her hair out.". I felt like I'd been punched. I know it happens that some people pull their hair out, but I would for those rumor-mongers to spend one morning getting ready at my house and see just how unlikely it is that my beautiful daughter would pull out her gorgeous raven locks. Really.

Sorry this is long, but I appreciate the stories here that help us transition to that next, inevitable, challenge!

maria