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Comment by Cindie on April 14, 2015 at 8:52pm

Being African-American, I know what "hair drama" we go through, and what drama others put us through.  Before I would tell him ANYTHING, I would have literature on alopecia available so that he doesn't think that you lost hair because you were "lazy" and "didn't take care of your hair."  I went through that "judgment" -- a very incorrect one, all my adult life, and know how painful those ignorant comments can be.

Comment by leah on April 12, 2015 at 10:11pm

I agree time to tell, sometimes waiting right exact time might not happen and if on your mind better to be honest. I feel you is hard, but will be harder longer is and could get tougher of situation! Best to be clear on real you, would you want him to share something he has put off too? Realizing your beautiful and hes dumb if has difficult time with! ...and all Debbi's written! Thinking good thoughts for you w/!

Comment by Dedi on April 12, 2015 at 10:10pm

Ok, thanks!

Comment by Debbi Fuller on April 12, 2015 at 10:00pm

It's now the elephant in the room.  Don't wait for the "right time" as it will never be perfect.  Just tell him the next time you are in a quite place.  Don't make a huge deal out of it, just say that it has been bugging you that you haven't talked about it and you just want to make sure that he's cool with it.  Have a sense of humor and keep it light.

Comment by Dedi on April 12, 2015 at 7:28pm

So I've already caught feelings!!! We've been dating for a few months now....and I want to tell him...but it's just finding the right time or the best moment to talk to him about it. He had the convo about if I wear wigs. And he haven't said anything since or any other questions about it.

Comment by Debbi Fuller on April 12, 2015 at 7:02pm

I wouldn't tell someone BEFORE dating him.  Let him meet you and see what a great person you are, then, if YOU like HIM, tell him.  He'll probably already be hooked!  Some people would make a snap judgement and skip meeting you just because they don't know or understand about AA.  Let them get to know you a little and I doubt it will be an issue.

Comment by Stefan on April 12, 2015 at 1:38am

You should have informed him before your first dating. Some people with AA look better that a lot of people with hair.

Comment by leah on April 8, 2015 at 12:35pm

For disconfort and pain part; I put mole skin in my wigs for better comfort, like front part and back. But i always take off when home. Maybe you could be honest w/ guy and say is hard to say... You like him and just little unique thing bout you right now?! Good way to see if there is future w/ you guys and what tule man he is. Feel if he cant deal not right dude for ya!! & better to know and will meet right guy who is truely caring and cool for u! Good luck! Is a challenge but life is and maybe is just more scarey thinking bout!!

Comment by Nesha on April 8, 2015 at 12:14pm

Tell him now its what's best for you to know if he'll be there when you tell him don't wait to catch feelings cause of he doesn't like it you'll feel really bad I've went through it if he really likes you he'll stay by your side

Comment by suburban mom on April 8, 2015 at 9:57am

first of all, i'm sorry that your wig hurts.  it shouldn't.  maybe some adjustment can be made.

second of all, i believe that you should tell the guy after a few dates.  if he isn't cool with it, then you aren't too invested.  if he leaves, then he is not a great guy and good riddance!!!!!

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