So I have read the horror stories on here about what happened when someone had informed their significant other about their alopecia. Since 2008, I have been inflicted with AA and having really done much dating until recently. I have been wearing wigs and sometimes it gets rough and frustrating due to some of the constant pain wigs can create

Well now I find myself in a weird and unfamiliar place. I am currently dating a great guy who seems to be genuinely into me. He has questioned me about whLOveether this is my real hair or weave. I informed him that it is weave (actually a self-made wig...but he has no clue of the difference...lol), but didn't really go into detail as to why I am wearing it. Now I need some advice....how long should I go before I inform him of my AA? Should I say something sooner or later?!?! My nervousness is I don't want to scare him off...because I actually like him...nor do I want to keep something like this from him and not giving him the option to know.

I like us....but I honesty don't know where we are headed!!!! My dilemma is what if I jump the gun and we don't last?!?! Anyone have any advice?

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"The 'Third Date Rule' by Debbi Fuller"

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Views: 2456

Comment by Debbi Fuller on April 7, 2015 at 9:17pm

Thanks South PAW!!  (love the name by the way!)

Comment by Dedi on April 7, 2015 at 9:45pm
Awesome advise everyone! It's crazy...I always hoped that by the time I started back dating...that it would be back at least enough to pull back into a ponytail or like an Afro. But I feel I will soon tell him.
Comment by suburban mom on April 8, 2015 at 9:57am

first of all, i'm sorry that your wig hurts.  it shouldn't.  maybe some adjustment can be made.

second of all, i believe that you should tell the guy after a few dates.  if he isn't cool with it, then you aren't too invested.  if he leaves, then he is not a great guy and good riddance!!!!!

Comment by Nesha on April 8, 2015 at 12:14pm
Tell him now its what's best for you to know if he'll be there when you tell him don't wait to catch feelings cause of he doesn't like it you'll feel really bad I've went through it if he really likes you he'll stay by your side
Comment by leah on April 8, 2015 at 12:35pm
For disconfort and pain part; I put mole skin in my wigs for better comfort, like front part and back. But i always take off when home. Maybe you could be honest w/ guy and say is hard to say... You like him and just little unique thing bout you right now?! Good way to see if there is future w/ you guys and what tule man he is. Feel if he cant deal not right dude for ya!! & better to know and will meet right guy who is truely caring and cool for u! Good luck! Is a challenge but life is and maybe is just more scarey thinking bout!!
Comment by Stefan on April 12, 2015 at 1:38am

You should have informed him before your first dating. Some people with AA look better that a lot of people with hair.

Comment by Debbi Fuller on April 12, 2015 at 7:02pm

I wouldn't tell someone BEFORE dating him.  Let him meet you and see what a great person you are, then, if YOU like HIM, tell him.  He'll probably already be hooked!  Some people would make a snap judgement and skip meeting you just because they don't know or understand about AA.  Let them get to know you a little and I doubt it will be an issue.

Comment by Dedi on April 12, 2015 at 7:28pm
So I've already caught feelings!!! We've been dating for a few months now....and I want to tell him...but it's just finding the right time or the best moment to talk to him about it. He had the convo about if I wear wigs. And he haven't said anything since or any other questions about it.
Comment by Debbi Fuller on April 12, 2015 at 10:00pm

It's now the elephant in the room.  Don't wait for the "right time" as it will never be perfect.  Just tell him the next time you are in a quite place.  Don't make a huge deal out of it, just say that it has been bugging you that you haven't talked about it and you just want to make sure that he's cool with it.  Have a sense of humor and keep it light.

Comment by Dedi on April 12, 2015 at 10:10pm
Ok, thanks!

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