Developing a new spot and awkward friends

This morning I was admiring my hair and how well I've managed to disguise the large bald spot on the back of my head by wearing my hair kinda wavy and messy.....when I spotted a new area on the crown of my head. It's about the size of a quarter right now and growing. :( I have been experiencing pain in the site for a while but couldn't figure out why. Now I know that it's related to losing hair. This really stinks! I will have to get really creative to cover this one.

Alopecia is like that, isn't it? The more I've read of other people's blogs, the more I've discovered that it's best not to get too hopeful about regrowth because another spot may be right around the corner.

I experienced my first really awkward AA moments over the last month. When I was first diagnosed in June, I told my close friends. I had also posted something on Facebook to the tune of "my hair's falling out, what in the world?" Well, this week out of the blue, an acquaintance from college who never talks to me puts "How's the hair loss going?" on my FB page. It was just kinda cruel- if she really wanted to know, she could have sent me a private message. I realize that people are sometimes just ignorant, but it really rubbed me wrong. I am not ashamed of AA but I just don't want to air my business to my nearly 1000 friends on FB. If it gets worse, I may change my mind and advocate for alopecia by sharing my story. I'm just not there yet.

I'm going to focus on the positive parts of my life instead of my hair. There are a lot of things that are going right for me, and I can't just look at the parts I don't like. I have great friends. I have a job that is meaningful. I have a loving family. God loves me with or without my hair. Alopecia doesn't affect any of my major organs and isn't life-threatening. There are many things about which I can be thankful.

Views: 68

Comment by Melea Allen on August 24, 2010 at 10:59pm
Emily,

I have had Alopecia since I was about 3 years old. I have been completly bald about twice. In the past 6 months though I have a pretty fair amount of hair and can usually cover up my spots with extensions. I have gotten all kinds of reactions from people. Most of my close friends know, but I don't normally tell my FB friends. I still have issues being comfortable and sharing with people becuase I guess I don't want to be seen as "different". Their are definatly some ignorant people out there. I just always felt that i don't have to share with everyone I come across. Hold your head up high and be proud of you.
Comment by Dominique Cleopatra on August 25, 2010 at 6:00pm
If you posted that you were losing your hair in a public forum like facebook, people probably assume you don't mind them asking you about it, sans discretion. Hang in there, and post most of your personal hair stuff on here, where you are sure to be supported, respected and understood.
Comment by Emily B on August 27, 2010 at 4:24pm
Yes, lesson learned regarding Facebook! I actually posted something there before I was diagnosed and knew what was going on, and I've since removed it, but some people didn't forget. I definitely will not be posting there without a lot of thought in the future.
Comment by Ade on August 27, 2010 at 5:03pm
I read your blog Emily a couple of days ago and i wondered how i'd feel if i did have an experience similar to yours regarding Facebook. Well, you know what they say 'careful what you wish for or wonder about' (i added the last bit!). I've recently reconnected with a bunch of High School friends and earlier today one of them posted a comment on my wall - calling me by the nickname i was called in school, which referred to my bald head and she also asked "did your hair ever grow, not that it matters anymore'. Initially i was surprised that it was posted as a wall comment and for a second i went into 'i wonder what my other friends are going to say' - you see with some friends its always been 'don't ask, don't tell' - so we've never really talked about me living with Alopecia. In hindsight i an really pleased she posted the comment, because it was the litmus test that showed me i had gotten over my shame and feeling flawed issues regarding alopecia. I actually felt okay and did not feel that it was her intention to hurt me - her approach simply lacked tact. Anyway, before i had a chance to respond, someone else from school responded saying 'come on, why are you picking on my friend, what did he do to you' and i responded with something along the lines 'don't mind her, she thinks we are still at school' (all done in our lingo from school) and then i sent her a mssg in her inbox - telling her that no my hair had not grown back and that i was finally at peace with this.........

Life lessons eh! Thanks Emily for this one!

xx

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