Comment by Dominique Cleopatra on January 24, 2011 at 8:57pm

I do think it would be very thoughtful if your sister would do her very best to respect your wishes during this difficult time. However, regardless of what she does, or anyone else, says or does it would behoove you not to give it so much power over how you feel--for your sake, not theirs!

Comment by Tallgirl on January 24, 2011 at 9:12pm

Sometimes it is also this ooooops, Freudian slip thing, where a person tries so hard not to notice the obvious difference, but is compelled to look or slips and says something from the unconscious mind. Maybe she kicks herself later, when she really thinks about what she just said.

Comment by Andrea on January 24, 2011 at 10:35pm

It takes awhile, but you just have to learn to be okay with it. It took me over a year, but being bitter about it wont help it grow back. It will just make you feel awful and alienate the people who love you. It's really not easy for people who don't have alopecia to understand what it feels like. So you can't fully blame someone who is just trying to share a little bit of their life with you. Try baby steps toward accepting it. Get a new wig you love, spend more time looking at the bald you so you get used to it. Look at pictures of the wonderful, beautiful, strong women on this site who rock their bald heads like a great new accessory. Make friends with alopecia so you can discuss every single aspect of it. Just don't stay in the bitter zone for too long, take it from from me-someone who set up camp there. It will only end up prolonging your misery.

Comment by Mary on January 24, 2011 at 10:39pm

Wise words, Andrea!

Comment by T.J.R. on January 24, 2011 at 11:35pm

Don't be so sensitive. Be happy for your sister when she rocks a new cut. And be thrilled when you take another baby step! When I see women in the mirror going on about their hair, I rub my head and say " yeah girl mine too"! You are the one that never has to worry about a bad hair day! You are the one one that really is free! EMBRACE the new you it's ok to love yourself. Besides why not mention the cool shoes you just got! Smile. You just won't see the patches if you shave it off. If your just not there yet, don't let anyone rush you. It is truely an adjustment. As they say, never let'em see you SWEAT! Be your best you, you're beautiful! Peace and understanding.

Comment by Petra on January 25, 2011 at 3:47pm

Is there some jealousy going on there and your sister is using the fact that she has hair to get back at you? Or maybe she is just being herself and oblivious to that fact that this bothers you. My mother-in-law used to go on and on about her hair in the summer. She used to point out the fact that her head is sooooo hot because she has black hair - I so wanted to tell her Try wearing a wig and see how hot it is :-) I don't think that she meant anything by it.

Comment by Mary on January 25, 2011 at 3:51pm

Heather, I appeciate the comments of others here, but I respectfully stick with my first statement. This isn't about you being too sensitive or needing to let go of anger, etc....it's about another person doing something you've ASKED her to not do. You will reach a point where it won't bother you, but right now SHE needs to be supportive and adhere to your requested limitations.

Comment by Heather on January 25, 2011 at 5:54pm

Thank you, I was just about to state that this is really a matter of principle, not what I should do or not do...or how I should feel or not feel. I'm really glad that a lot of you are one with your alopecia, but I'm not yet. So, the point is that a made a simple request from my sister, whether she thinks it's rational or not it is not for her to judge. I don't know if it's jealousy or what, but it feels like something is going on...unless she has temporary amnesia.

Comment by Petra on January 25, 2011 at 6:35pm

So true Heather. It's all about respecting the other person.

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