I just read the blog post from a sister asking how friends took the news about Alopecia. I've not told any friends which is why I thought I'd do my own blog about my experience with people finding out..
With having alopecia for what feels like all my life my mum, dad and brother obviously knew from start. I remember my mum having alsorts of ointments to try all which smelled horrid.
She also used to cut me and my brothers hair. I don't think this helped me in long run as she would use ways I think to cover it up. Had I gone to a real hairdresser they may have helped me face it sooner.
I managed to hide it well or so I thought. It was enough to get me out the house.
I lost a lot of hair quickly around 16 (before it was just patches) I used to wear a sort of hair thick band which goes all the way at round your head. I think you supposed to wear them with sports.
I could not take it off in public as this was the only way I could hide the hairless.
My friends didnt say anything they didn't comment or ask me why I thought it was fashionable to wear such a item on my head everyday.
I sort of wished someone had said something. God knows what people used to think and say behind my back about it. It's sort of cringe to think about it now.
I think I was in denial though. I heard comments on the bus from kids who sat behind me, she going bald, but because I couldn't see the back I don't think I acknowledged it. Instead I changed where I sat to ensure as much as possible no one can see. I still do this to a degree even with a wig. In case they tell and comment.
Still no one of my close family or friends said anything. I don't know if they thought I wasn't bothered or didn't want to upset me.
I remember in school we was putting on a dance show. We had practiced for ages and was the night of the show. One of the girls in my dance group said we should all have our hair up in some platted way. I was excited for a moment as I'd never had my hair up fancy. I now know why my mum never did it for me. I took off my hair band because a girl said she will do mine for me but just looked shocked when I showed.
Bless her though they didnt comment and they tried anyway. But I looked it the mirror and all I could see was large patches between all the nice work she had done with the last of my hair.
I couldn't go out like that. She agreed and kindly put my hair up in a ponytail which covered it and nothing more was said as I danced the odd one out.
Another insident happened a few years later. I was still wearing the damn hairband. In my late teens early twenties. I was out with a male mate. I heard a younger lad shout something but didn't catch was said. My mate went over to him. I assumed he had call him over. I turned to see what was up and caught my mate pointing at me shaking head saying something like she doesn't... I didn't hear much more as I decided to start walking away. My mate caught up with me. Yet nothing was said, and I didn't ask. I wish I asked...
Apart from odd moments I sort of carried on. Hiding as best I could. I went out had a job, friends boyfriends. I knew hair was getting worse but I ignored it. I didn't even get medical advice. (At 16 I went to doc they said it was stress due to my exams and sent me on my way) I never saw that doctor again and never bothered to try another one)
The thing which changed all this happened to be an now ex boyfriend. He was the first ever to actually sit me down and talk about it.
He told me I need to go get it sorted maybe see a hairdresser see what they said or a wig place. I have a feeling now he may have seeked advice himself. But it gave me the reason to go into a wig shop I'd passed many times in town.
When I told my patents I was getting a wig, my mum said bluntly to make sure I was prepared (her words) that to wear a wig I may have to shave rest of the remaining hair off. I refused (it eventually all went anyway) but that was the first time since childhood and them creams that she had given me any advice on it. Why she didnt say anything sooner ill never know. My dad didnt say anything but I know he will accept me no matter what I do or how I look.
Now only my direct family, my current boyfriend and his direct family know. He felt the need to tell his mum which is fine by me.
But I have told no one in work. I'm sure they have noticed but not said any thing just like my other mates.
There is a new girl mind. She is very high maintance. I see her looking at me, I can also feel the question in the air as she is nosey.. But I will await the question as it maybe just me?
I'm not sure i will ever volunteer the information, but if asked I will not hide.