Comment by Mark S. Hansen on November 18, 2009 at 8:29pm

Lori. One last thing. This condition never comes or is easy to live with no matter who you are. However, I think once you find someone that loves you or accepts you, (as you have) weather you have the condition when you meet someone or if you get it after you are married, you have in effect beaten this condition back in that it is no longer an issue to the ones who mean the most to you, those who love you for who you are. It's hard to admit this even here, but I myself have never had a relationship or girlfriend in my life. Either I have not did enough asking, and it is quite clear why, and or they have not been interested, and I think that my be clear why as well. Well, Good night.
Mark.

Comment by Julia McDowell on November 19, 2009 at 6:47am

Hey chick,
I know exactly how you feel. But honestly, I felt much, much better once I bit the bullet and shaved my head. I'm not just saying that. Of course I had crappy days after that - it's been ten long years after all! BUT in a way it's better to have nothing than a little bit of hair. I kept looking at what I had left and getting angry, wistful, resentful and longing for it to grow back to the way it used to be - I had the thickest hair imaginable before it decided to fall out. With nothing to look at and long for, somehow it was easier. Do you have my phone number? We should get together for that coffee and have a chat.....


When I was going through the phase you are at now, I was so depressed and saw myself as a hideous monster. Now I can accept my baldness, and I'm learning more about what REALLY matters each day. Hair is a huge thing in our society, but it's what's inside a person that counts. If your best friend was in your situation, and was feeling like a monster - how would you comfort her? Would you secretly agree that she was indeed hideous? Of course you wouldn't! You would tell her that she is beautiful with or without hair, that she is more than her hair, and you love her just as much as you ever have. That's how you have to start talking to yourself. You are your own best friend.

I don't want to sound 'preachy' but I really can sympathise, and hope you have a better day today.

Hang in there - it really WILL get better!

Hugs, Julia x

Comment by Lori M on November 19, 2009 at 5:29pm

Thanks gang for nice thoughts. All I can think of now is how much is plastic surgery!!!!! Gotta start buying lottery tickets so I can create a flawless face! Just kidding. Hanging in there today but still not impressed. I will live another day though.....

Comment by JeffreySF on November 19, 2009 at 6:44pm

Hang in there Lori!
We're all on the same team!

Jeffrey

Comment by Beth S on November 20, 2009 at 10:02am

Hi Lori - i just read the sequence of notes and your original note. I know how you feel though. The past 8 months I feel like I have been living in a cave, dealing with the emotions and and my physical appearance many times each day yet trying to shield my girls and pretend to the world that nothing is going on. At times it has been a very dark and lonely place. My sisters and mom have been great as well as a few close friends that I have shared this with. Even though I still have bad days and moments I am now able to have some days and moments that I can joke with people that maybe I will try all different kinds of color and styles and try to have fun with it. It helps my girls to deal with it when I joke about it or make fun of it. It lets them see it as less of a big deal. They range in age from 8 - 13 so I have to deal with each of of the a little differently. But, they are doing great and they help me get through each day and most days with a smile on my face. This disease sucks, no other word to clearly describe it. All I want is to wake up and through my hair up in a ponytail and move on. Those were the days. If you need to vent let me know. I feel like I am slowly emerging from my cave, a little each day, trying to get out with friends and back to some sort of normalcy. Good luck and keep me posted on how you are doing.

Beth

Comment by Jess (Jordyn's Mom) on November 22, 2009 at 12:21pm

Lori I feel fo ryou..I dont have alopecia but my 8 yr old daughter does...I wouldnt allow the doctors to inject my daughters head..not when there was a very small chance that they would work..hang in there sweetie!! We are all here for you!!

Comment by Lori M on November 22, 2009 at 2:57pm

Jess your daughter is a very brave little girl going through this.... I am so impressed with the kids who are dealing with this.... :+) Thanks for the kind thoughts....

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