My sweet 13 mo old started losing her hair. She was always very small, failure to thrive in fact. Her ped just continued to say she was fine, just a slow grower. I knew otherwise, but few listened. I guess they thought I was a paranoid mom, even though I never had these fears with my son who is almost 4. So when she started losing her hair I tried to look the other way. This worked for about a month, until her grandmother said something. That gave me the kick in the butt to take her to the ped, a new one. She listed to our concerns, ran some blood work, and sure enough she has low iron. Hopefully that was what was causing her loss, though it was in patches not diffuse. So I scoured the internet, looking for an answer other than AA. Of course, I didn't find one. I asked for a derm referral instead of waiting for the iron to take effect, and had to wait 3 more weeks to get in. Of course, the derm took one look at her and said she had AA. I was teary throughout, and the derm said she didn't have pitting of the nails and some regrowth, so though she is young, and that is bad in itself, it wasn't as bad as it could be. The derm actually said she has kids that can't sleep at night because of excema, so at least its not bothering her. OK, I'll go with that, but it will bother her. And, which is better, physical pain or emotional sorrow? I see folks looking, but few say anything. They think because she is small that she just has baby hair loss, and assume that she is younger than she is. They think she is a physical prodigy because she can run and they assume she is just 1 years old!! :) I keep waiting for another mom to freak and think she has ringworm or something contagious, and I fear that this will unglue me.
So I grieve for what is to come. It is ironic that as soon as I went out and bought the cute hair bows, her hair started falling out. I remember friends w/ girls saying that I would have to deal w/ fixing her hair when she was first born--boys you just run your fingers through. Now I'd love to have to deal w/ a squirmy toddler and ponytails. Selfishly, I couldn't wait for my little girl to grow long hair. I know she will have to endure loads of pain from children, and I'm sure it will continue as she becomes an adult, just more covertly I imagine. I fear that the hair loss will change who she was to be as a person. I plan to always be there for her. If no one else in the world can see past it, at least her mom can. And I plan to help my son to never ever ridicule her. At the very least her home can be a caring, accepting place. I saw the MTV true life, and told her grandmother about it. The response from my mom was that it wasn't the same as her situation, and in some respects this is true, she will never not know life w/o Alopecia. She won't have that moment where her hair is unexpectedly falling out (though I have read that as episodes recurr they are viewed similarily to being diagnosed with a terminal illness). However, I believe that was a taste of what is to come for her in the future, and if I think too long or hard about it the rage starts to bubble inside of me. This is not helpful, and I've noticed my tolerance level for my 3 year old is already less, as you try to put the lid on the rage, it oozes out in other places. I need to find a way to put my energy into something more positive, like learning to be the best mom possible to a little girl w/ Alopecia. I am hoping that this site and the strong people on it will be able to help me with this.
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