Ha-ha hair

Now my hair has been growing, yes I was kind of happy, but not for long...It's falling out again, I know everyone had this kind of thing happen to them, but for me it's the first. It always grew back and stayed for years, but not now...
I'm a bit lost on how I am supposed to feel. I used to be optimistic but I guess alopecia tends to wear out a lot of optimism...
Now I'm thinking if I should just shave it off again or wait a bit. I'm sooo frustrated and tired of looking like this, It's not how I want to look!!
My wig is bad I know that and it sucks to try to find myself every single morning, to try to convince myself that it's ok, that people stare because you look good not bad. I know that It depends on my point of view but that point has shifted to a point of misery and regret...
I hate when after telling people I have alopecia and that I had to shave my hair say that "oooooh it's probably because you died your hair a lot" it's like saying "oooh that's your own fault you look like this" I just want to smack them!!
I feel like my own body is laughing at me, saying you want hair? Ha ha! you will not get it!

I wonder how will I cope in my new university... being all alone and Bald...
Yeah this is probably one of those bad days...:(((

p.s I've been on a holiday in Paris and saw a woman with alopecia and I was soo happy that I wasn't alone. I know that all people here are like me, but I've never seen one in person with alopecia before. She looked great, had her head shaved off and she looked so organic so natural and it was a bit easier for me. I wanted to talk to her, but I thought it's non of my business and decided to admire her from a side.

And today I'm shaving my hair short and dying it blonde!

Views: 107

Comment by Tallgirl on July 28, 2011 at 7:16am
Ask yourself:

How would I feel waking up single with HAIR every day? What adventures would I plan for my days?

Then:

Plan the exact same things, even with alopecia! Start with a whole day of BLOND excursions today...and make sure you talk to people, invite friends to coffee, shop for something to wear with your new look!

Life still happens, alopecia or not...so make some good memories!
Comment by Michelle on July 28, 2011 at 11:04pm
People still have all sorts of reasons why my hair "probably" fell out. Then I ask them...... so what about my leg hairs, arm pits, nose hairs and eyelashes???? That shuts them up real quick. LOL
Comment by Shelly on July 29, 2011 at 12:38pm
Tallgirl and Michelle....you rock!!!!! I love the advice and thinking patterns!!!

I was disappointed that people would make those type of comments to you Calipso, and I'm sorry you had to hear them.

I have approached other alopecians and struck up a conversation....I've not had a bad experience with that and it's helped me feel "not so alone".
Comment by MiNAH on July 30, 2011 at 11:19am
Those are the ignorant questions we have all had to deal with and overcome. Those questions will never end, yet for some reason, when you are available, feeling insecure, they dare to ask, insinuate, and blame. Although, I rarely get it. Well maybe on the odd occasion. I feel it's because I am comfortable with myself. So they don't even try to question me. I also know how it feels to see another person with Alopecia, and I am comfortable in approaching them, yet most of them look away as if in discomfort or shame. Either they are walking without head covering, with a wig or bandanna. I did speak with a young woman who had Alopecia Areata and she was so rude and insulting. Also a lady with a wig. Either way, I understand their fear which causes them to react in this way. I used to walk totally bald since 1982 and even though I was comfortable, I was in emotional pain because of the reaction. I had so much trouble being bald in those days, people were not as accepting as today. I think of it this way ..."TODAY I WALK WITHOUT HAIR TOWARDS YOU ... AND TODAY YOU LEARN" Some will look directly into your eyes and smile, and others will look away. However, today I was still able to change the few in a crowd. If I dislike being approached, then I can understand why others without hair don't like it. Yet the ones who ask me/us those silly questions are not bald....
Comment by Mary on July 30, 2011 at 6:00pm
Beautiful comments, everyone!

I hope you get through this rough spot soon. Three years ago when I was struggling with being newly bald and hating wearing a wig, I thought my life was over. It's not.

Sorry to repeat this link for those of you who've seen it already, but here I am this month, just being myself. Three years ago I couldn't have imagined doing this! Now it's just me, and it's really okay.

http://www.alopeciaworld.com/video/twisting-in-balboa-park
Comment by MiNAH on July 30, 2011 at 11:55pm
Thanks Mary, it shows how one can become comfortable being around others and being themself.
Comment by Calipso on July 31, 2011 at 5:15am
Thank you for all the answers:) I'm so happy to have found this site where are so many good and understanding people:)
MiNAH I do sometimes understand that people like to forget about their alopecia as much as they can and not to be singled out even when it's another alopecian. I personally would love to meet someone with alopecia, but haven't got the chance yet.
Mary, such a great dance:D Hope I'll be more relaxed:)

P.s went out yesterday with my new "haircut" had a 20 minute conversation with a homeless drunk man (more like his monologue) he said "I know what you have! It's fungus!" I thought here we go again...But then had I thought do I really care what does this drunk smelling ugly man thinks or other people who are really not interesting to me with or without hair?NO! In this alopecia journey I think I'll learn to be more tough skin and not to care. I really needed this:)
Comment by Kata on July 31, 2011 at 12:53pm
Dear Calipso, Just to say that I sympathise about the drunk man. My hair is cropped short and I seem to act like a magnet to these kinds of people!
Comment by Calipso on July 31, 2011 at 2:17pm
Yeah we have a lot of attention now.
Comment by Violet on August 1, 2011 at 7:06pm
Oh I've been there... Mine was growing then started to fall out again, so I shaved it and just walk around like this most of the time - sometimes wear a hat if I need some security. I know the feelings you're experiencing, it's not easy. But I promise you...you will get through it and it won't be so bad. Let who you are shine through to people and they WILL get over the bald thing. It's more about us getting over it ourselves. And once we do, it is alot easier to deal with other people. Hang in there. ::hugs::

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