Ha-ha hair

Now my hair has been growing, yes I was kind of happy, but not for long...It's falling out again, I know everyone had this kind of thing happen to them, but for me it's the first. It always grew back and stayed for years, but not now...
I'm a bit lost on how I am supposed to feel. I used to be optimistic but I guess alopecia tends to wear out a lot of optimism...
Now I'm thinking if I should just shave it off again or wait a bit. I'm sooo frustrated and tired of looking like this, It's not how I want to look!!
My wig is bad I know that and it sucks to try to find myself every single morning, to try to convince myself that it's ok, that people stare because you look good not bad. I know that It depends on my point of view but that point has shifted to a point of misery and regret...
I hate when after telling people I have alopecia and that I had to shave my hair say that "oooooh it's probably because you died your hair a lot" it's like saying "oooh that's your own fault you look like this" I just want to smack them!!
I feel like my own body is laughing at me, saying you want hair? Ha ha! you will not get it!

I wonder how will I cope in my new university... being all alone and Bald...
Yeah this is probably one of those bad days...:(((

p.s I've been on a holiday in Paris and saw a woman with alopecia and I was soo happy that I wasn't alone. I know that all people here are like me, but I've never seen one in person with alopecia before. She looked great, had her head shaved off and she looked so organic so natural and it was a bit easier for me. I wanted to talk to her, but I thought it's non of my business and decided to admire her from a side.

And today I'm shaving my hair short and dying it blonde!

Views: 107

Comment by Calipso on August 2, 2011 at 1:19am
Violet - yes!I totally agree about the getting over it ourselves:) Thanks so much for the support:) Hope everything will be even better then I expect. Somehow I still believe that AA is temporary, hope it is:)
Comment by Ilia Reed on August 9, 2011 at 5:09am
Hi C, I just want to say thanks for sharing your story. Being the only baldie - I know this feeling. When I had to make up my mind and shave my head I found quite some support and encouragement here. After having it shaved I had to get home with my shiny scalp and nothing to cover. When I looked into the windows I saw this unknown baldie reflecting there. And then I got the impression that it was more I that had to get used to it than others. Now I am proud to belong to this very special sort of people with no hair. I am happy to meet you here.
I hope I don't hurt you - you were saying that's not how you want to look - but I like your looks [maybe I am biased :) ]. I wish you well at your new university - finding good friends who look for for than hair and enjoy being out with a bald woman as something quite normal.
Wish you plenty of good days, take care!
Comment by Calipso on August 9, 2011 at 10:31am
Thank you for your support here you are one of those people who understand me:)
Somehow I'm getting used to it also, sometimes feel special and good about it:D It's important to stay positive I guess:)
I'm leaving for my plane in an hour:]]thanks for all the good wishes:) hope everything will go as you said:D
Keep in contact:))
Comment by Ilia Reed on August 10, 2011 at 12:47am
Welcome to wherever you went to. Wish you have a very good time there. Just to share this: I am sometimes getting tired of shaving my head. This morning I said to myself: I really love this cool calipso look :D
This is a big change; I once had quite long hair and liked it. But now I would not like to have anything else. The faces become more prominent, their many differences. Some may think the we look almost the same, bald as we are. But look at the eyes, noses, mouths and the ears. Thanks for showing your pretty face :)) It's good to meet you here

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