Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on March 23, 2011 at 12:39am

The same thing has happened to me on a few occasions even tho I normally wear scarfs. (I just prefer playing with the styles also its still cold and snowy here.) Typically I get annoyed when its just assumed that if you are bald you must be seriously sick but on one occasion that I was confused as to having cancer was at work. This little old lady that doesn't talk to many people came up to me telling me her story. She didn't ask mine and I didn't offer, I figured she just needed to share with someone that would understand. And having all us been at that point where we just needed to share, I didn't have the heart to tell her I don't have cancer.

Comment by Mary on March 23, 2011 at 12:39am

Happens to me all the time. All we can do is get OUT THERE and show the world we're healthy, even though we're bald. Here I am raising the consciousness of about 2,000 people, dancing hard:

http://www.alopeciaworld.net/video/in-the-mood

Comment by Anita Donath on March 23, 2011 at 1:13pm

Sandy,
I love your story - it is pretty much a duplicate of myself.
I have had Universalis for 7 years and for past two years have been going "topless".
I have felt awful when folks ask me if I am going thru Chemo and I say no, I have alopecia, Ijust don't have hair. But yes, I have met so many wonderful people because of this. And God has given me this opportunity to share - so I am trying not to feel guilty when asked and just smile and share my story. Keep your head up girl!!!

Comment by terry koepsel on March 23, 2011 at 2:08pm

Great story,
Im new to all this having AU for about 6months, but have had friends come to me and ask if Im sick. glad to hear Im not.

Comment by Kendal Rauh on March 23, 2011 at 6:06pm

You are SO not alone in this experience! I have had instances when I've felt guilty for not being sick, but I've found when that happens, telling them that I have met survivors seems to make things a little easier. It can definitely be frustrating when people just assume, but what I have found most frustrating is having to explain myself to the same people numerous times. I'm a cashier/receptionist at a busy dealership so I see the same faces ALL THE TIME... they'll come in the first time, ask how I am and I'll explain.. then they come back in and ask how my treatments are going or something along those lines. One guy came in a few weeks ago and didn't recognize me because I was wearing a wig (I usually wear scarves or nothing) and had the audacity to ask me "where the cancer girl was"! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Do you have no couth?! Some people just don't seem to have a filter! LOL

I've actually been thinking about making Alopecia awareness pins or something to put it out there. Maybe something along the lines of "Happy, Healthy, Hairless" or "Just Rockin' Bald". Haven't actually done anything about it yet, but it's been lingering in the old noggin for a while :)

P.S. "braving the world with my shiny dome showing" - LOVE IT!

Comment by Sandy K. on March 23, 2011 at 6:27pm

Thank you everyone for your wonderful and encouraging comments! It's great to know I'm not alone in facing the "sick-assumption" . Oh Kendal--"the cancer girl"?! Oh my! I don't know if I would have handled that with such class like you did! I'm LOVING the awareness pin idea! Let me know when u make them--I'm here as your first customer!! :-).
So, what's everyone's favorite response when someone assumes you're undergoing cancer treatment?

Comment by Mary on March 23, 2011 at 6:30pm

I get nice reactions when I wear the T-shirt I had made that says: "Yes, I'm bald...get over it" on the front, and "No hair, no problem" on the back.

Comment by Martin on March 24, 2011 at 7:27am

You said, "Someday, I hope that people are educated about Alopecia to the point that I can walk out my front door and not have people assume that I'm sick and dying simply because I'm bald. Does anyone else have this happen to them?"

Amazingly, this only stopped happening to me in recent years. But for a very long time, people always assumed that because I was bald and losing my eyebrows, eyelashes and all that, I was very sick. The worst would be people that would come up to me at the grocery store or Wal-Mart and not even ask but just outright say, "Oh, I know what you are going through; my brother just recently finished chemio and lost all his hair but you know what, he is doing fine now. The hair all came back!" I didn't even have a chance to prepare for what they were going to say let alone know what to do when I found that I was being put on the spot. What do I say? How do I respond? I learned after time to simply just smile and respond, "Oh, its not that, I am just having a bad hair day." And usually with that, people would laugh and smile and walk away and that would be the end of it. But for a long time, it was not once or twice a day, it was all the time, every day. It was exhausting. And sadly, very rarely did I have a friend beside me to witness the experience. Everyone used to think I was making this up. Only when a friend or two finally were present to share the experience with me could they vouch for how common it happened. But like I said in another post, once I became less self-conscious about it and became more comfortable in my own skin, it just seemed like everybody stopped staring, everybody stopped pointing, everybody stopped making comments . . . it just all stopped.

Be strong to yourself and be true to yourself and I would expect that suddenly, one day, you too will find that no one else seems to notice anything different about you. And its amazing how our smiles can change things for us.

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