I have to allow myself to be this sad for just a day or two. I been so strong since I got diagnosed with AA 5,5 months ago. But i dont want to be strong right now. I want to cry and scream and be mad.

9 months ago, i was a Beautiful bride, marrying my best friend. As happy as could be. Unfortunately, my best friend happen to be American so 1,5 year ago I also left my family and my home country Sweden to live with him. It was so hard for me the first year, but Life was finally turining around, and then... a month after, i got AA. Fucking great.

That brought more stress in my Life, and made me miss my family even more. My husband is my biggest support, and i love him to pieces. Right now im in Sweden and will finally reunit with him in a few Days, after 5 weeks apart. (hes a touring musician).

I started to getting regrowth pretty fast, and even though I knew it could fall off again, It was my biggest hope right now. And even if i told my family not to be to excited abt my new hair, because we might just be disappointed, i was probably the one most excited of them all. But just in secret. And then today... with only two Days left with my family. I'm noticing that my cute baby hair falling off. and very qucik. And im so so sad. I hate not knowing what this means?

Is it possible it might grow out again? or am I facing being bald for Life? I been Crying so much im shaking. I just wanted to keep my new hair. I dont understand why it had to fall out already. Im mad. This disease is stupid.

And i know i have so  much to be grateful for.... I know and I am everyday. and I know I will be okay eventually.

But today..... im fucking sad.