How alopecia has turned me into a coward

Hi Everyone,

First and Foremost im kind of glad(and sad in another way) to have found and be a part of platform full of Humans who think,feel,behave and have suffered the same way as i did..

Im Santhosh a 25 Year Old Graduate from India and I've been Suffering from Alopecia for Nearly 15 Years now,Ive lost my Eye Brows & Eye Lashes(Albeit not Completely but there are Circular Patches plenty of them infact) and Has Started to Lose Hair in Patches on My Scalp off late..

I've been Bullied in both School and College but had no option to continue as My Parents didn't knew what it was all about and they thought i was looking for Excuses to Skip Education(Believe me We dont have Many Alternatives to Education here)

The thing that Disgusted me the Most was Lecturers joining in,I was the Source of Fun for My Chemistry Lecturer on a Daily Basis during my Plus 2(College After School which Enables you to Choose a Stream for your Graduation)

It all Started one day in a Class of about 100 Students where he Approached me and asked me 'Which Tailor did you get that Hair Cut from?' and Everyone started Laughing(My Hair used to be Rough and Bad which Ironically Looked like a Wig according to Many)...

It didn't Stop there as he Another Day Threatned me infront of the Entire Class that he'd report and I would be Arrested by the Police as my Lost Eye Brows Changed my Identity and that I look like a Terrorist,The Insults Kept on Coming and it went to Point where he'd just Stare at me in the Middle of a Lecture/Everytime he got Bored and My fellow 16 Year Old Mates used to Laugh at Me...

I've been Nicknamed 'Bird Flu' by others and was bullied,Verbally Abused by a Pack of Hyenas Almost Everywhere i went(Bus,Bus Stop,College) and there are Random Guys who'd stare and refuse to sit beside me as if I wasn't Human and a Weird Animal Instead...

I've been bullied to a Point where I just cannot Imagine going out of my House without wearing a Cap/Hat and I just Hide in a Room when Someone Visits my Home(Only I know what it feels like when Someone knocks the Door and I have to Attend them)

I just Hide behind the Curtain more Often than Not and Barely make Eye Contact with the Person that has Arrived and Try to end the Conversation ASAP

'Ignorance is a Bliss' isn't it? it Worked until a Point but as days have gone by it was very tough to Ignore that im not Normal and to make Matters worse I have red rashes all over my face,swelling just above both my eye brows and my Forehead & Eyes turn Completely dark more often than not..

I've Approached Plenty of Doctors all these years but there wasnt one who found out that I had Alopecia and was always Asked to Undergo 'Thyroid Tests' by most of them,It Turned out that there was nothing wrong in those Reports and they'd Prescribe me with some Random Medicines which obviously didn't Work...

Recently I've Approached Homeopathy and I've had some positive Result but I dont think id ever look like I once used to...

Views: 125

Comment by Santhosh on November 1, 2015 at 2:25am
Thanks for the Support & Suggestion Aimee...Unfortunately I've still been lacking Support from my parents as my dad barely cares about me and my mom is an Illiterate who cannot understand what I've gone or been going through....and yes I feel a bit confident after wearing a cap
Comment by Santhosh on November 1, 2015 at 8:16am
I barely have any Friends but some of my Relatives have understood me fortunately...That's the only Positive Aspect of my life so far and Thanks Again for your valuable info & advice during these Tough Times :)
Comment by LC on November 1, 2015 at 4:24pm

I just want to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are dealing with such bullying. It's so sad to hear. Our community is understanding and we're here for you. 

Comment by Santhosh on November 1, 2015 at 8:59pm
Cheers LC!!!! feel like ive finally found my home Atlast...
Comment by rahul rathod on November 2, 2015 at 12:38pm
Hey Santosh
Im Rahul from Ahmedabad,India.

I feel so sad to hear ur story nd my sympthy is with u.Somehow alopecia also made me coward. I've not yet dared to go out without my cap.I feel same the way u when anyone come to my house.Though after reading ur story, in one way I feel lucky that people around me quite supportive nd I've not been teased or mentally abused.
Comment by Santhosh on November 2, 2015 at 11:08pm
Hello Rahul,

Unlike me its the most severe form of Alopecia in your Case and its sad really...Id love to meet and have a Chat with a Fellow Alopecian like you,Hopefully it can happen one day...
Comment by Jonathan Cobb on December 10, 2015 at 2:12pm

Hi Santosh,

My name is Jonathan Cobb from sunny California J I am 30 years old and I lost all my hair due to Alopecia when I was in 2nd grade. It hasn’t ever completely grown back (no hair anywhere) I still remember waking up one day before school and seeing hair on my pillow and a bald spot on the back of my head. I was way too young to understand what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t good. I went to school that day and the first person to make fun of me was my best friend at the time who sat behind me. He got all the other kids in class to come look at my bald spot. I’ll never forget that feeling and I’ll never forget the many more that followed. It was tough to deal with that as a kid.

When I was in 6th-7th grade I became aware of the fact that I was bigger than most of the kids and I started to use my fists to defend myself. If someone wanted to step-up to me and call me names they would get a right hook without warning. The name calling stopped relatively quickly, but I never felt so low and ashamed of myself. I brought myself down to their level (being a bully). That’s not who I am. That wasn’t the answer and after having Alopecia for over 20 years I like to think I found the answer.

Treat everyone the way you want to be treated. If that same respect is not given in return just move on. That person is not worth having in your life. Be positive and don’t let Alopecia stunt your life. Alopecia takes your hair, not your life. If someone wants to judge me on the way I look vs. who I am as a person than that’s their lose. I’m not going to let them drag me down. Keep moving forward. Never slow down. You have goals in life and Alopecia won’t stop you from achieving them. Only if YOU let it. I have met the love of my life, I have made lifelong friends that love me for who I am, I have received my pilot’s license and flown helicopters over the Sierras and across deserts, I have graduated from college and recently graduated from a police academy. I have done all this with Alopecia.

I know it’s hard right now and all you want to do is hide from the world, but you need to do your best to get out there and live. Whatever it is that you want to do in life, go do it! Don’t hide from people that come to your home. That is your home! Go introduce yourself with confidence! Treat them the way you want to be treated, if they ask, explained to them your condition with more confidence! You might be suppressed on how they treat you back. If they don’t, to heck with it! Their lose!

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