How do you tell others?

Hi,

First, I have to make clear that I might spell alot of words wrong....so dont mind my grammar, please :-).

Yesterday I told a good friend of mine how I have been feeling the couple of weeks. Lately I have been feeling insecure about mine alopecia areata. I say its mine alopecia areata, because for a while I have been feeling like I am the only one with this disease. I have read stories, blogs and bio's of people on this website. It gave me so much comfort that I am not the only one...dealing with this.

In mine personal life, I dont know how to talk to others about the disease. Although I am bald for 5 years. And wearing a wig for the same time, I rather aviod the subjects...:hair, baldness, wigs, going to the hairdresser. I shut down when does kind of subjects come along. You might understand that because of me hiding the "the real me", I cant be myself. In general I dont like to talk about personal stuff. I always have been like....I can deal with it on my own, I dont need help or support.

Now I came to a point that I cant deal with it anymore. I told my sister. She doesnt really know how to deal with me. She tries to be supportive, but she doesnt really know how I feel. I love her offcourse. She was the one who went with me, to buy my first wig. So she really wants to help me. But dealing with my feelings.....I never told her I guess.

So yesterday I told a friend. For the first time in 5 years, I told her how I felt. (it was trough facebook, but I did told her). I told her how insecure I feel. How ugly I think I am when I look in the mirror sometimes. I told her, that I dont think I will ever get a boyfriend....because I am bald. You can imagine how negative I feel about myself. I dont really know if it is because of the alopecia. I was wondering if any of you went trough this kind of fase?
How did you get trough it? Maybe some of you can give some advice to me, about how to deal with fase I am in now.....

Thanks in advance.

Xo

Views: 21

Comment by Samantha V.P. on March 9, 2011 at 7:33pm
One step at the time Ashley... it will work out just fine ... patience, trust and believing that you can beat this fear ... one step is one way back 2 you ... be kind and loving 2 yourself and others will do the same...

Try finding a mindfulness training. Ask your doctor about it. I promise this is all about U.

Xxx Sam
Comment by Ashley on March 10, 2011 at 9:58am
Hi,

As I said yesterday....I went to school today. It was so nice. I had so many laughs with my classmates. Who are funny! After school, me and some classmates had icecream, before we left for home. I am traveling back home now, I really enjoyed my day at school. It was fun.

@Sam...I should take babysteps....but the person I am...I want thing to change now, right at the moment. And I am a litte unpatience...:S...But I will get there. About the Mindfulness...A friend of mine has a book about it. She is also following the training I think. I will ask her what its all about.

Xo
Xo,
Comment by Ashley on March 17, 2011 at 3:11pm
Hi,

since from last week, I have been doing much better than I did the week before. I am still avoiding some friends. I dont really know why. But I shared alot of laughters with my roommate. We played sing-a-star on the playstation 2. So I am doing a bit better. I also called a social worker 2 weeks ago. I want some help in accepting my baldness. Have any of you talked to a proffesional during your acceptance-process?

I love to hear about it.

Xo
Comment by Natalia on February 3, 2012 at 5:05pm

I feel myself as Ashley: I do not want to tell somebody about my problem ,
I am wearing a wig and mostly people do not gess it is a wig.
I do not tell people about it, because the people will think " Poor woman !
So great problem !" I think, if I tell somebody , I will not feel myself better,
(as Ashley wrote, she was crying wenn she spoke about it ).
So I do not tell, because I feel myself better if I do not tell somebody.
I do not think , the others must do like I do.
If a women feels herself Ok, if the others know, she schould tell.
If it she feels not OK ,if the others know , she should not tell.
Some women here without hair found a man , and it was not a problem.
People is different. Some thing can be a problem for one person and can not be a problem at all for another person.

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