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Beautiful People,
If Madison Avenue ever created a slogan for life, that should be it. One of the things I learned through dealing with Alopecia (and having my husband suddenly drop dead of a massive heart attack), is that you can't wait until things are perfect -- or even better -- to meet life full on. If you do, you will always be waiting instead of living, and life is short. Like art, your passions are revealed in the process, not the product.
An analogy (and example) of this might be the relationship I’m in. I absolutely adore this man, but he is certainly an individual with significant flaws (as we all are). In the beginning, when I was uncertain about whether I ought to pursue a relationship with him, I remembered something I’d once heard: “Just because someone doesn't love you the way you think they should doesn't mean they aren’t giving you the best they have.” It made sense to me. So I dove in, deciding to take the best this guy had to offer and not pass on a relationship that was perfect in so many ways just to wait for an ideal lover who might never show up or might not even exist. Thus, for the past four years I have accepted him exactly as he is (flaws and all), I haven’t tried to change him, I have never taken the relationship for granted, and I squeeze the good stuff out of every minute we are together. In return, he has added so much beautiful color to my days!
I think that life probably needs to be approached with that same understanding. The situations with which we are presented are deeply flawed at times. But waiting for life to meet certain expectations before embracing it is like passing up love. Life is far from perfect, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take the best it has to offer and squeeze the good stuff out of every moment. Who knows what you’ll get in return! And more importantly, who knows when limited time offer will expire?
Don't let Alopecia keep you from living! Yeah, having Alopecia can seem like a raw deal. We are so worried about how we look, we worry no one will love us, we are waiting for it all to somehow go away, we avoid social engagements, dating, interviewing for that new job...don't keep waiting! LIfe is short (I know) and taking the best life has to offer -- although it's not perfect -- will yield such great rewards.
If Madison Avenue ever created a slogan for life, that should be it. One of the things I learned through dealing with Alopecia (and having my husband suddenly drop dead of a massive heart attack), is that you can't wait until things are perfect -- or even better -- to meet life full on. If you do, you will always be waiting instead of living, and life is short. Like art, your passions are revealed in the process, not the product.
An analogy (and example) of this might be the relationship I’m in. I absolutely adore this man, but he is certainly an individual with significant flaws (as we all are). In the beginning, when I was uncertain about whether I ought to pursue a relationship with him, I remembered something I’d once heard: “Just because someone doesn't love you the way you think they should doesn't mean they aren’t giving you the best they have.” It made sense to me. So I dove in, deciding to take the best this guy had to offer and not pass on a relationship that was perfect in so many ways just to wait for an ideal lover who might never show up or might not even exist. Thus, for the past four years I have accepted him exactly as he is (flaws and all), I haven’t tried to change him, I have never taken the relationship for granted, and I squeeze the good stuff out of every minute we are together. In return, he has added so much beautiful color to my days!
I think that life probably needs to be approached with that same understanding. The situations with which we are presented are deeply flawed at times. But waiting for life to meet certain expectations before embracing it is like passing up love. Life is far from perfect, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take the best it has to offer and squeeze the good stuff out of every moment. Who knows what you’ll get in return! And more importantly, who knows when limited time offer will expire?
Don't let Alopecia keep you from living! Yeah, having Alopecia can seem like a raw deal. We are so worried about how we look, we worry no one will love us, we are waiting for it all to somehow go away, we avoid social engagements, dating, interviewing for that new job...don't keep waiting! LIfe is short (I know) and taking the best life has to offer -- although it's not perfect -- will yield such great rewards.
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Comment by Marie on January 18, 2010 at 6:11pm
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We don't ALWAYS have tomorrow! We don't perpetually have next week! Life is short; it's definitely a limited time offer. My husband spent most of his life dedicated to work, always working to make his life perfect -- getting the next promotion, buying a better house, etc. When he died he had THREE MONTHS of unused vacation!! THREE MONTHS!!! He should have used some of it. My point is that no one should put off living -- or put off accepting the best life has to offer even if it's not perfect -- because of Alopecia. Don't let Alopecia steal the limited number days you've been given. Don't be afraid, get out there and LIVE! Of course the world is full of endless possibilities! But you have to get out there and go for it!
And I certainly didn't mean to imply that I settled for my guy. But, if I'd wait for Mr. Perfect, I would never have him with me now. He is the dessert on my table of life! I'm glad I'm the one who opted to enjoy the best he had to offer. And similarly, I'm glad I opt to take teh best life has to offer, even if it's not perfect. Alopecia shut me down for a year. I still have Alopecia, but I'm not shut down anymore.
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Comment by Erica on January 18, 2010 at 7:09pm
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Cliché cliché cliché.
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Elucidate?
I'm a big believer in the energy created by a positive outlook. Negativity never got anyone diddly squat. I live by absolutely everything I wrote...Cliché or not.
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I just try to encourage others.
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Comment by Dominique Cleopatra on January 18, 2010 at 10:01pm
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Marie, I think you're awesome and I couldn't agree more!
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Thanks, Dominique! I think you are awesome too! And you put a lot of positive energy into the world.
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Comment by Jo Jo on February 22, 2010 at 9:23pm
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Marie, I understand, can relate to and furthermore AGREE with your view. Very well said. I hope this guy continues to awe you. I also hope that you continue to indulge in this new appreciation and insight that you now have due to the alopecia and the death of your x-man (RIP) Stay beautiful and strong.
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Thank you! We are all in this together!
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Comment by MiNAH on February 24, 2010 at 11:16pm
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Susan, I was speaking about u today and the direct manner in which u approach life.
Then i read this answer and have a chuckle ..."this is exactly what I mean"
All the while "smiling"..you never cease to surprise me.
Always open, always direct and to the point.
NO MESSIN WITH SUSAN...SHE SAY'S IT, LIKE IT IS!
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