“It’s a wig!” I’m all too happy to tell you this upon our first meeting. I really don’t mind informing you of that whatsoever. I’ve always felt a bit like I’m a made-up, false Hollywood façade. You know the kind of fake building facades that you might find on a Hollywood Studio backlot? Wearing a wig and being complimented on my hair makes me feel like this.

But I’ve jumped way ahead. So, let me back up a bit…

To begin, I was diagnosed with Androgenetic Alopecia nearly 13 years ago. At the time, I had already lost quite a bit of hair, exhibiting a thorough case of male-patterned baldness on the crown of my head. In other words, you could clearly see my “high forehead” and beautiful pink scalp. I was sent to a dermatologist who specialized in scalp conditions. I had to wait nearly 3 weeks for the lab results to come back from skin tests that were performed, and yet I was not surprised with the outcome. But I do remember saying, “What’s that?” when given the explanation for what was causing my extreme hair loss. It turns out, this would not be the last time I would hear about Androgen. Side note, several years later I was diagnosed with Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome and hair loss is a common issue among us Soul-Cysters, abnormal Androgen levels being the key component of this medical syndrome.

From the beginning when I was told I would never recover my hair, and would most likely continue losing what little was left, I knew I would transition into wigs immediately and get on with life. Though, I can honestly say I was not prepared for the reactions I got.

I had always had thin, fine hair. But I had enough hair that for many years I wore it long, just past my shoulders, and was able to do an expert job of covering up the bald patches that had begun forming throughout my scalp area in my early 20′s. As the hair loss progressed, and at the urging of my hair stylist, I began cutting my hair shorter and shorter with the hopes of giving the appearance of much thicker hair than what I really had. Though, I’ll be honest, if it so much as “spitted” a few rain drops during the day and I was caught without an umbrella, I was done! There was no saving the flat, non-existent hair look that I knew I would be sporting if caught in even a minimal rain. Those with hair loss, you probably know what I mean. I worked a Corporate job and my image was extremely important. I could not afford to be caught in the rain! I never realized how much my thinning hair controlled my life. I lived in South Florida at the time. I couldn’t go to the beach and rock that cute little bikini. And forget the water rides at the amusement park. I became a slave to my hair!

So, when the doctor wrote the prescription for that first “hair prosthesis” – can we just call it a WIG! – I was out ordering my first wig that night!! That was a Thursday night and we had the wig shipped overnight. I was fitted first-thing Saturday morning and never looked back.

On Monday, I walked into the board room of my Corporate job and was amazed to find the speechless looks on my associates’ faces. These were people I had worked with for several years; we were practically family. One broke down in tears, hugged me and said, “You are so beautiful.” All I kept thinking was, “Did I really look that bad?” It was such a relief. Though, my 5-year old son told me to “get that skunk off your head!” because I had chosen a wig that had some beautiful blonde highlights in it.

For the most part, during the day I felt confident in my looks. I took unbelievable pleasure at walking in the rain and not having my hair cave in. I LOOKED for rain storms and purposely took great pleasure in going out for lunch those days!! People thought I was crazy, and I was. But, they just couldn’t even begin to understand, nor did I explain.

Yet, at the end of the day, every night before I went to bed, the wig came off and I could see nothing more than this bald, ugly head of mine. In those moments, I felt like such a fraud. Caring family members around me would get so upset when I would tell people that I was wearing a wig. I was constantly told it was not necessary to have to explain. But, as a woman, do you know how hard it is to be in the cosmetics aisle and be complimented on your hair? Because you KNOW the next question(s) asked is, “Who does your hair? Is it from a bottle? What color do they use on your hair?” I got MANY questions like this, especially when I decided to go red. My oh my!! I had women all over my town trying to copy the shade of red that I was sporting. (For the record, it was a Louis Ferrare wig in Irish Red). Someone close to me at the time told the cashier at the supermarket that I went to New York to have my hair done. Seriously?!!

I could not tell another lie! It was uncomfortable and I could not get that fraud feeling to go away. So I just started talking. I told anybody and everybody that I was bald and I wore wigs! I was happy to tell them where I got my wigs, who my stylist was, and what colors I was purchasing. That’s when it all became this big game and got to be fun!

If you met me on the street today and asked me about my hair I’d tell you straight up, “It’s a wig. Thank you so much for your compliment!” I’ve even been known to whip out a business card and write down all of my wig’s stats so that you too can have my hair!

I just don’t care. Last summer I went swimming for the first time and felt the cool water on my head and face. It had been AT LEAST 15 YEARS since I dunked my head in water in public. Granted, most of my neighbors know that I don’t have hair and wear wigs. I can’t tell you if they’re comfortable with it or not. I find most people aren’t which is all the more reason why I slough it off and SHOW THEM it really isn’t a big deal. Quite honestly, my personality is bigger today than it ever has been in my life. I am not afraid to meet people, talk to them, listen to their story, answer questions about me and my hair/no hair, and genuinely open myself up to people.

I have my own skin care and cosmetics business where customers are now being referred to me because they are dealing with some sort of hair loss. I cannot even begin to tell you how humbled and honored I am about that. My heart breaks for them. I cry with them. The level of acceptance that I have today about my hair is 13 years in the making. I have finally reached the point of knowing that the sun sets on today, and rises first thing tomorrow morning. Life is meant to be lived! I have too much adventure and life to live to let a little thing like hair stop me. Besides, I’m a fashionista! Have you seen all the adorable scarves and hats they have available? Imagine this: there are even scarves and hats/caps made of SUNBLOCK MATERIAL! Oh yeah!!

Decisions, decisions….

So, I hope the next time you meet me I will be maybe sporting my “new look” – a super chic headscarf and/or a fabulous hat of some sort. The possibilities are endless. But 1 thing I will continue to not cowar from is the fact that I am bald. So what? I can still be pretty fantastic and fun! And that’s what I want people to know about me from the start. I hope I can be an inspiration in some way to others out there to know that it really is okay. We are beautiful creatures for many reasons and I CHOOSE to acknowledge all that God has made me to be, with or without my hair.

Seriously, I’m kind of diggin’ the wigs, scarves, and hats. I shouldn’t be having this much fun!

Blessings To Everyone!

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