Comment by Milka Stepien on October 9, 2012 at 6:05am

The people around us also have to go through adjusting to what has happened to us and to how we cope with it. My mom was always very supportive of me, but sometimes she would worry too much or try too hard, which would sometimes be more of a burden than a help. She would advise me to wear wigs to interviews or to dates, because I would have more of a chance of getting the job or having someone fall in love with me :) She loves me and accepts me but sometimes she worried that I would be hurt by how people react to me. Maybe your husband has the same? I'm sure you'll get through it together though and that somehow you'll both find a way to work through it. I finally sat down and had a very honest talk with my mom and told her that I'll probably never have hair, that I hate the wigs and feel like I'm wearing a mask when I have them on (I know it's different for each of us, but that;s how I felt) and that I don't want to have a job or a partner which/who demand of me that I look like someone I'm not, because I'll always be unhappy then. And since then she seems to feel better about how I look and accepts the way I've chosen to deal with it. My boyfriend also accepts me just the way I am and when he met me, he knew I didn't have hair from the very beginning. He even tells me he can't imagine me with hair, because it wouldn't be me :) So it's a battle to get people soemtimes to understand fully what we go through, but they get there eventually! Good luck, though I'm sure you'll work it out!

Comment by Leslie Mader on October 9, 2012 at 8:56pm

I feel overwhelmed some days also and just had a melt down the other day realizing and still in disbelief i have this awful disease. But, I have a very supportive husband and it hurts him to see me in pain and unhappy without my hair. I'm not sure I will ever be able to accept it - i pray that i will. i need to surround myself with more people that have the same disease - the support group that's close by in my town. i just don't get involved and it would probably help me if i did. do you have one near you? hope you are doing ok today! :) Leslie

Comment by Michjo57 on October 10, 2012 at 6:09pm

I had a terrible meltdown on Sunday and I had been doing so good I thought. I am trying to accept the fact that I have this and that I can't change it, but I can change my attitude. I have been a home body and don't even want to go out in public. I wear my wig to work but I have not showed it to my friends yet. I still have thin hair so I wear hats when I am with them. I need to face that next big hurdle and let them see me in my wig.

Elizabeth you are so beautiful and I enjoyed looking at your pics. You are living life to the fullest and I need to do the same. Can I ask what type of wig you have. It looks great. I'm new at the wig thing, so far have three and only like one. I don't want to spends 1000s on wigs, I would like to find a good one that I'm comfortable in.

I think it gets overwhelming at times thinking about our hair. But you and your husband look very happy and he is blessed to have you. Don't forget that!

Comment by Pat on October 12, 2012 at 1:55am

I got overwhelmed constantly when the first year or seven of alopecia...it just slowly got better although it can still catch me unawares...my husband found it more difficult to deal with my meltdowns than anything else. I don't go out bald and have asked him how he would handle it and he said truthfully he doesn't know. I think he would be worried about stares etc in case I got upset. We went swimming at the beach a couple of years ago sans wig and he handled that pretty well. Anyway, for me I'm happiest in my wig...even when I'm home I've usually got it on...I just prefer myself with hair.

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