So it's been a long time since I've been on here, at least been active on here. I was diagnosed with AAU last October. My hair was falling out so fast I didn't think I would have any hair by December.

Around Thanksgiving I went in for a "cute boy cut" (I was tired of my son pulling hair out of his mouth everyday) and the lady who cut my hair took a number 8 razor and shaved my head! I was so not ready for that but it was actually a blessing in disguise because it forced me to face the reality of the situation. Shortly after that I noticed regrowth in some of my bald spots but there was no way I was going to believe that my hair was coming back. But it did. It came back everywhere, my arms, my legs, my toes, everywhere.

That's the reason I've been MIA. I didn't feel like I belonged here. I was experiencing the one thing everyone with AA wants. I didn't feel like anyone wanted to hear from me. The weird part was that I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. My friends and family didn't understand what I was going through. They didn't understand why I would get worried when I found hair on my clothes. They always thought I was overreacting. But I didn't feel like I belonged here because I had my hair and I felt guilty for having hair.

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble now. About two months ago I felt like I needed to come back. I started reading blogs and looking at pictures. I started telling people at work about my AAU, which always met with a lot of questions since I have hair, but I wanted people to know. I wanted to be involved with the AA community. I didn't know why I felt so drawn to be involved but I did.

It's weird how life works. I'm sure someone was trying to prepare me for what was about to come. I've had a spot that never grew back on the back of my head but I never worried about it. Then last week I found two more spots. I have no idea what is about to come. I have no idea if I will loose all my hair or if grow back in. For right now I'm just enjoying the hair I have and coming back to the people who know what I'm going through.

I am so grateful for this website and everyone who is a part of it. If you made it through all this rambling, thank you :)