Comment

Comment by Tiffany P on January 11, 2012 at 1:03pm

I really like your post and some would disagree but as someone who does believe in god it annoys me when someone says that it happened to someone for a reason or to help us teach others. Frankly as you said it happened because we are all imperfect and if it wasnt this it would be something else and frankly ill take this over alot of other things. I understand sometimes people need to have a special reason for everything to cope but i believe that every day we get to wake up is a blessing. peace out :o)

Comment by Pat on January 10, 2012 at 7:57pm

Thanks for that link. I did a whole semester unit on grief and loss and there are various models but all have the same basic tenet that moving through one stage to another is an individual process and can't be rushed. One of the stand-out phases of the recovery process is the ability to talk about the loss. With our aa this is often difficult to do as most people minimise it as it's only hair and don't they just don't 'get it'. That's why places like Alopecia world are so important that we can come here and vent our frustrations, our insights and our grief to people who really do understand. Paradoxically, just like in therapy, when we voice our fears etc it helps us to move through the process and get on with living a productive life.

Comment by Tallgirl on January 10, 2012 at 2:02pm

I always considered alopecia the same as grieving a lost body part. Too bad THOSE kinds of therapists and chaplains don't get on this site!

Comment by Figarosmom on January 10, 2012 at 1:28pm

Hey there A!
I hope this isn't too philiosphical sounding but...one of the things that became clear to me when I started loosing my hair was I was suffering from grief (among many other emotions). So...being the somewhat logical person I am, I looked up the stages of grief. I had read a book called On Death And Dying years ago. This was considered a landmark book at its time, the first of its kind to really identify the stages of grief.

So when I started saying "why me?" I rememberd the stages of grief. Some people like to define grief as simply related to death, but that is simply not true. We grieve for many things, including things like loss of health and hair. The why me stage is the 3rd stage of grief. I am including a link that explains each stage. I think you will find it useful. Knowing the stages does help you realize your feelings are normal and that fighting them is not what you should do. You should go through them. It helps with healing.

http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

Comment by Pat on January 10, 2012 at 7:42am

Great attitude! It's learning to get a better attitude that's got me through...I'm a slow learner so it took me a while...

Comment by abdelrahman elfeky on January 10, 2012 at 7:37am

i was talking with a dude here from egypt too and he told me he has been in home for 3 years now and left the college that wt i call it "giving up" for me i don't care if my alopecia turns into universalis mayb i'll wear wigs mayb not wt i'm sure of that i'll continue my life as it is ..

Comment by Pat on January 10, 2012 at 7:29am

No point in giving up anyway...life just goes on regardless so may as well make the best of it. When I first got aa I was devastated as probably most of us are at first and it took me quite some time to adjust to the new me. After all these years I still wear a wig outside the home, I just feel better feeling hair around me even if it isn't my hair... lol...

Comment by abdelrahman elfeky on January 10, 2012 at 7:23am

of course terri , when people give up they become a broken shield in the machine of human progress and a misery source for the people who love them and i think it's the worst sort of selfishness .

Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on January 10, 2012 at 7:03am

whether its "stupid genes" or an evolution in our genes, who knows. We must carry on, since that is what life does. Life wont stop for us, so we must pick up our belts and move on. Find the positive in the adversities that come our way, and teach what we have learned.

Comment by abdelrahman elfeky on January 10, 2012 at 6:06am

@pat : why NOT me is a good question yea ..
@john :i totally agree since there's not a miracle cure and i'm pretty sure it will happen i'm just waiting science for a real treatment not a superstition till that i'll adapt with my case and just live my life in my own way ..

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