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Comment by Mark S. Hansen on November 1, 2014 at 4:21pm

* I wish did not have this alopecia univseralis, total body hair loss for 45+ yrs.

* I wish it had not started to fall out in big patches in junior high school, patches that on occassions were ripped out by the school bullies.

* Even though my good parents bought me my first wig when I was 15, I wish that I had not hid under it for 35 years and only took it off 10 yrs ago.

* I wish I wpould have had more courage after high school, at places I had worked, and in college that I went back to at age 33 and graduated at age 45, to approach more woman with the idea that they might understand when I the time came that I had to tell them I was really bald and I wore a wig.  

* When I did ask women out over the years I wish they would not have rejected me because of the way I looked, you cant hide the fact that I dont have any eye brows or eye lashes.

* I wish I had not heard women and others say behind my back over the years, that I is "so weird." What got me is that they act did not know why they thought that, until I told them why, that I look diff bec I have a hairless face. And the usual response is "oh, we didnt know or notice"

* I wish I was not 58 yrs, S, Nv Marr, and never having had a girlfriend or relationship in my whole life.

* I wish I had not only went out with a woman once, back in 1989, and then not again until 25 yrs later in 2004, when I had sex my one and only time in my life where I lost my virginity at age 48.

* I wish that the worst thing about this condition wasnt the ignorance, the stares, and the silent ostrasisum that I get to one extent or another every day.  

* Some times I even wish that I didnt have to credit myself by saying that many people have committed suciside for a lot less reasons than I live with.

* I also wish that I did not have to say that dispite the fact that I have a BA and  MA I am cronically unemployed, technically broke, and that my age in this society is an obsticle, to finding a job, even in a retail store (yes age decsrimination exists)  as well as for the way I look.

* Lastly, I wish I could say that I was a happy person. Maybe some day. Mark Hansen Milw WI.

Comment by PamFitros@boldlybaldwomen.com on November 1, 2014 at 1:07pm

I wish I had a hug that reached far enough to surround and strong enough to comfort your pain.

I wish you could be okay with losing your hair for yourself, your peace, your ability to see the joys in your life and feel the gratitude every day for all your many blessings.

I wish you could remember you still are the person you were and more as a result of losing your hair.

I wish you could give yourself permission for a pity party of one without feeling guilty when your stress level rises above your current coping skills, knowing feeIlings pass and you'll feel better again and feeling sorry for ourselves at times is pretty normal in the grief process.

I wish you could believe that pain can't be legitimately be rated more than or less than another's - whether it be cancer, amputations, paralysis or anything else. I have known women with cancer who were more devastated about losing their hair than having cancer.

I wish you could know there are very real reasons for the pain of hair loss for women regardless of what else is going on ( see Boldly Bald Women, ) Chapter 3 "Quit Whining Kermit, Green Is Easy).

I wish you could see how beautiful you are - just as you are. How valuable. How important to the people who love you and the people who come in and out of your live. How worthy you are to be happy.

I pray you will find a way to reclaim your joy. If I can help, please let me know.

Pam Fitros,

www.boldlybaldwomen.com

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