It's days like these when I really need support. I don't really know what to do with myself. My family needs me, and they are constantly upset by my lack of contributions to the household. As a teenager, I'm sort of at the whim of the adults in my household, and they don't always understand what's going on. I have cried countless times today, and probably will again.

I was diagnosed with alopecia in May, and it has progressed to about 60% loss. I also have diffuse hairloss, and my ponytail is about half the size it was before. While some regrowth has occurred, the spontaneity and unpredictable nature of the disease frightens me. I just don't know how to handle this one addition to my other health concerns.

I suffer from chronic cluster headaches, which began last autumn. I thought that they were migraines, as did the headache specialist. I was getting a migraine every couple of days for months (it took 4 to get in to see him), sometimes lasting for a week or longer. They would fade in and out all day, to the point that I wanted to leave school and never see the light of day again. Despite the headaches, I attended school and took the highest level classes despite the pain. I was loaded up on all the high-tech drugs for them, and I ended up sleeping about 3 hours per night due to staying up late on homework (migraines inhibited my ability to concentrate on just about anything). Well, they never went away, and then the alopecia showed up. I also suffer from anxiety, which obviously didn't help the alopecia one bit.

So, recently I found out that my migraines are actually cluster headaches. They are headaches which last from 20 minutes to 2 hours, and they always affect one side. A person can have 1-8 cluster headaches per day (I average about 6). The headaches tend to occur several to many times a day for a period of days to weeks, and then disappear for a variable amount of time, usually weeks to months. They are nicknamed "suicide headaches" or "birthing headaches" because people killed themselves due to the pain and they are comparable to the pain of childbirth.

So basically, I just don't know what to do. I'm a perfectionist, and a student trying to get into highly competitive colleges. But at this rate, I feel like I'm going to burn out. I can't sustain this pain, especially not with the burden of parents (who seem to lecture and raise their voices about everything imaginable on a near hourly basis), homework, and other everyday events.

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Comment by shaila on July 16, 2013 at 10:37am

Dear Madeline,
I lost my hair in my final year of (undergraduate) college and had to do my post graduate studies through correspondence. My advice to you is do not stress yourself . Hair or no hair life is meant to be enjoyed. So go right ahead and love whatever you are doing. Please learn Yoga. I find it helps in distressing and developing ourselves.
You sound very positive so continue your studies. You will do well

Comment by Michelle on July 16, 2013 at 12:00pm

Madeline, I am so sorry that you feeling so bad. Being a teenager is hard, and even harder when you suffer from headaches and live with alopecia. Have you ever tried yoga? It might help with your headaches and help you relax and manage the anxiety. I have anxiety/panic disorder and yoga has helped me immensely; in fact, when I was diagnosed with AA in March, I headed right back to yoga class to help me calm down and give me some peace in my my head and in my body (it's really helping). Find a class, go with a friend, and try it out- I think the restorative poses and breathing techniques might really help you. I hope you feel better soon!!

Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on August 28, 2013 at 12:24pm

Madeline, Im so sorry for you and please know you are not alone, on either case. I have lived with alopecia since I was 8 (38 yrs old now) And being a teenager during this time is extremely tough. I still have clear memories of my teenage years with alopecia and the pressures from family and school. As far as the cluster headaches are concern, I have been fortunate that I have never had one. My boyfriend use to get them all the time and I would cry for him constantly when one would hit. The pain he would experience was hard to watch, never mind what he was actually experiencing. I made him a hematite necklace, its stones that have a magnetic property to them. He has said that they did seem to help. The magnetics have properties to increase bloodflow and circulation of oxygen in the body. It is often worn to help in these things. Since wearing the necklace he has not had a reoccurence of the cluster headache but will sometimes get a migraine. I also agree that yoga during days you are not suffering a headache would be helpful to center your mind and body. My boyfriend said to hang in there, they do eventually go away, maybe not permanently but for long periods of time.

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