Alopecia World
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It is just me?
Whenever the topic of hair loss comes up, people always praise me and are astounded by my attitude about my alopecia.
Its as though they feel it is something so terrible and dramatic... and that the average person would be in crisis.
Am I wrong having a positive/nonchalant attitude toward alopecia?
I was 16 and popular in high school when my hair fell out. I didn't think it was a big deal back then and don't think its a big deal now. Many people told me "High school is a critical time in life when you are figuring out your identity, the hair loss must have been a tough time for you" and "High school is a very judgmental place...I don't know how you made it through with that smile one your face"
I ALWAYS had a smile on my face! Haha! It was my MOTHER who cried about the alopecia! I didn't see anything wrong with it! It was/still IS cool. I never had to "cope" with anything... it was always just "whatever, just hair" in my mind :-)
Today, someone told me that they are amazed by how open I am to talking about my alopecia. Should I NOT be open?
Also... I have nothing to hide! Yeah, I wear a wig... SO WHAT! I love the way I look in different hair styles! I'm not hiding anything. If someone wants to see a bald head, I'll be the FIRST to take off the wig! :-) ...happy to oblige!
I try to understand why others feel sad/depressed/emotional about alopecia, but can't truly put myself in their shoes.
As the saying goes "THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO HAS IT WORSE OFF THAN YOU!"
(so get over yourself! its JUST hair!) <-- my little addition... not to sound cold hearted, but the quote is true.
Is it just me who feels this way?
I am empathetic to people who are sad about losing their hair. I will never tell them that their feelings are wrong, however, I will always shine a positive light in their direction to alter their feelings. :-)
i emphasize that because i want to make sure people see this!
on a side note... i had a guest speaker in one of my graduate classes today. she told us about her journey in life with difficult times. she is a 'young' senior citizen, an outgoing person, highly motivated, and VERY accomplished. It has only been within the past decade that she has released her pent up troubles and talked about them from deep down inside. When she was my age, she did not let her so called "tough times" get in the way of her being a happy go lucky person. ...it is now that her tough times bring up bottled emotion. It made me think --I am subconsciously bottling up emotions? Have I been through "tough times?" Will these emotions be let out when i'm a senior citizen?? :-P
I'm pretty sure that the sad emotions need to exist in order to bottle them up!..and I still dont see my life from 16 til now as any sort of hardship! I should be in the clear! but then again, ya never know how you will feel 40 years down the road! haha
Its as though they feel it is something so terrible and dramatic... and that the average person would be in crisis.
Am I wrong having a positive/nonchalant attitude toward alopecia?
I was 16 and popular in high school when my hair fell out. I didn't think it was a big deal back then and don't think its a big deal now. Many people told me "High school is a critical time in life when you are figuring out your identity, the hair loss must have been a tough time for you" and "High school is a very judgmental place...I don't know how you made it through with that smile one your face"
I ALWAYS had a smile on my face! Haha! It was my MOTHER who cried about the alopecia! I didn't see anything wrong with it! It was/still IS cool. I never had to "cope" with anything... it was always just "whatever, just hair" in my mind :-)
Today, someone told me that they are amazed by how open I am to talking about my alopecia. Should I NOT be open?
Also... I have nothing to hide! Yeah, I wear a wig... SO WHAT! I love the way I look in different hair styles! I'm not hiding anything. If someone wants to see a bald head, I'll be the FIRST to take off the wig! :-) ...happy to oblige!
I try to understand why others feel sad/depressed/emotional about alopecia, but can't truly put myself in their shoes.
As the saying goes "THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO HAS IT WORSE OFF THAN YOU!"
(so get over yourself! its JUST hair!) <-- my little addition... not to sound cold hearted, but the quote is true.
Is it just me who feels this way?
I am empathetic to people who are sad about losing their hair. I will never tell them that their feelings are wrong, however, I will always shine a positive light in their direction to alter their feelings. :-)
i emphasize that because i want to make sure people see this!
on a side note... i had a guest speaker in one of my graduate classes today. she told us about her journey in life with difficult times. she is a 'young' senior citizen, an outgoing person, highly motivated, and VERY accomplished. It has only been within the past decade that she has released her pent up troubles and talked about them from deep down inside. When she was my age, she did not let her so called "tough times" get in the way of her being a happy go lucky person. ...it is now that her tough times bring up bottled emotion. It made me think --I am subconsciously bottling up emotions? Have I been through "tough times?" Will these emotions be let out when i'm a senior citizen?? :-P
I'm pretty sure that the sad emotions need to exist in order to bottle them up!..and I still dont see my life from 16 til now as any sort of hardship! I should be in the clear! but then again, ya never know how you will feel 40 years down the road! haha
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Comment by Clara S. on March 24, 2010 at 10:51pm
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I love your attitude! And i can so relate because my mother is way more upset about this than me!
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Comment by Natalie on March 25, 2010 at 10:09am
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Once I accepted my alopecia and moved on, I have never once looked back! And I am the happiest I have ever been! But like you, my mother has an immense amount of guilt that somehow her genes caused this (which is crazy, because there is no way of knowing how this happened to me). She has so much guilt that sometimes she will call me crying, asking me how I'm holding up; I reply "Great! Don't worry about it, Mom! It's not your fault!" It must be some kind of a mother's guilt thing....
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Comment by Dominique Cleopatra on March 26, 2010 at 1:21am
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Just the other day my mother praised me saying, "You're so brave." For some reason it really annoyed me and made me feel like she felt sorry for me. I know she was just trying to be nice, but it almost made me feel pathetic. I mean what was I supposed to do curl up and die—it is only hair!
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Comment by Mary on March 26, 2010 at 1:33am
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Lovely post, Stacie. No, it's not just you.
I sometimes ask my husband whether I'm crazy to not care if people see me bald, looking the way I do now. Sure, I wish I had my hair - I'm still dealing with losing it 2 years ago. I was seriously depressed and crying a lot the first year But, I've basically moved on.
I think about people who have cancer, or are battling disabling chronic diseases....Read this blog about Michael J. Fox:
http://www.alopeciaworld.net/profiles/blogs/inspirational-words-fro
It does sort of bug me when people tell me how brave I am....it's just hair! I feel like my reaction to losing it is the ONLY reaction I can have. I am a bald woman. There's nothing I can do about it. I still have good health and can do things I love to do.
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Gail, I agree parents just want to find some way to fix it and also they want to find some way to help but am not sure how to...and for my mother I guess she feels helpless because she is thousands of miles away from me.
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Comment by Laurie Blundell on March 26, 2010 at 5:54pm
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My mom freaked me out when I first showed her my hair loss! It was Christmas last year and I only had one spot on the side of my head. This is brand new to me at 47 years old. She started crying so hard it scared me like I was dying or something. Oh man, if she saw me now, with it almost all gone, I don't know what she would do. I think the hardest part for me since it has happened to me later in my life, is I don't feel sexy without my wig on. Is this weird? I look at myself with my very sparse hair and I look sickly. That's why I think I should shave it. I love your attitude Stacie. Sometimes I feel strong and so blessed for all I do have going for me, but I also feel pity for me in my darkest moments. I have suffered all my life with horrible, extreme Atopic Dermatitis and Anxiety disorder, and now this. It's all a little much to bare sometimes. Thank you everyone for your help during this new life journey.
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