Comment by Mary on February 13, 2010 at 4:43pm

Lacey...just hang on and try to remember that you are not your hair!

For me, shaving off the hair was very liberating. I felt like I was in control of my life again.

I'm quite a bit older than you are, and I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose your hair at such a young age. But, have you seen the videos by Alopecia World member Olivia Rusk? You can also find her on YouTube. She's amazing.

Good luck,
Mary

Comment by Melissa Harris on February 14, 2010 at 12:04am

Lacey,
Hi there! Just want you to know that I really feel the same way about this and I too am in a position of learning how do still deal with it all. Sometimes I think I'm fine and then somedays it's really bad. Especially when I have to look in the mirror or do my hair. I used to love to do me hair and now that's all ruined for me. I' m still trying to make sense of it all but it seems to make none and I wast a lot of time thinking about it. I just feel so tired sometimes. I hate seeing people with great hair, it makes me really sad. I'm being totally honest here. Sometimes, i wonder the same thing, should I just cut it all off?? Will I be happier then? I don't know. For now, I walk around trying to do all these magic tricks with it because I look like a corpse out of Thriller! I hate it!!!!!! I feel your pain and thoughts! Please look me up if you ever want to talk, vent, ect! I'm trying to find peace in all of this too. I guess it is a journey, I just want it to end soon. Take care and hope you find your way though this too! Melissa :)

Comment by Joshua on February 14, 2010 at 2:33pm

Hi Lacey,

You're not alone. The feelings are completely normal and the ability of expressing the feelings is part of the journey of healing our soul. For alopecians like us, we may worry about how much more hair we're losing or how much hair are growing...even for those people without alopecia, they are constantly worry about their hair, haircuts, hair colour, hairstyles, hair shampoo, hair conditioner....etc. being alopecians help us to differentiate what is important in life, setting them in priorities. Alopecia helps us to see things what others may not see, we're "not normal" yet we can live ordinary lives, we're "not normal" yet we are not restricted by what other non-alopecians can do. Do not and never be ashamed of yourself, alopecia is a painful journey to begin with, howeverful it the journey will become less painful and more beautiful.

Yes, alopecia can be a constant stress but at least alopecia helps us to "detect" who is true to us, reducing much time and effort spent on cultivating friendships that are not genuine or not worth-while.

Lacey, it is not an easy journey in dealing with alopecia but be reminded that you're not alone. You never will be alone. :) Do take care of yourself and do keep us posted.
God bless.

jt

Comment by Suzanne Kennedy on February 14, 2010 at 10:26pm

Get out! I was just thinking the same thing today. When I fix my hair well, none of my now 8 spots show, but I sat in church this morning worrying that they would if I turned my head the wrong way, etc. I know that it's not our fault, but I do feel like a failure, like I should be able to control averything in my life and I can't control this. I put my hair up in a pony tail tonight and spent a minute trying to cover the holes, then I thought, "screw it!" I'm going to see a counselor next weekend to talk about the sadness and stress. So far, it has not made me a better person, so good for you that it has. You're awesome and, just by looking at your picture, beautiful!

Comment by Frederik on February 15, 2010 at 3:03am

I've just read a book which states the fact that pre-traumatic stress might be just as bad as post-traumatic stress. So constantly worrying about what you would feel like if you lost more hair is just as bad, or worse, than actually loosing it all and dealing with it. The last thing I am going to loose is my eyebrows, they are falling out as we speak. And it's almost like I can't wait for it to happen. I'm not going to shave them off, but I'm kinda looking forward to it. Then there is nothing left to worry about. I'm free.

Comment by Marjorie Mischeaux on February 15, 2010 at 8:48pm

Lacy, I "over-stand" how you feel. I remember the stress of always being overly concerned about my bald patches showing. I used a coverage product for years and prayed to not get caught in the rain. When on vacation in Brazil, I stayed out of the water for fear that I'd have black streaks dripping from my face. I avoided the "steam rm" at gym for same reason. I just did not feel free. It took me 3 yrs of going through this to finally just shave remaining hair off and I must say that was the day that I finally felt in control and totally liberated. I might add, it was a process getting to this point but the reward of feeling "free" is priceless! Stressing out about it I think is normal as we all must go through this process however I think it makes matters worse. Yet I do feel what you are experiencing and support you on your journey of acceptance and release. Kalilah

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