I'm writing this because I'm creative and a fighter.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of the things that make me.... ME. I had my hair fall out my head in high school and it wasn't until 4 years later that I realized that I had it way before then. But teen stress got the best of me. It was for those 4 years I was tested and pushed and cementing who I wanted to be as a person. Poetry and writing became a staple to maintaining my sanity and stress really low. Some people think that men experience the hair loss differently. Really? In this age of challenging gender roles/bias? It was hard, lonely and a blessing. It really changed how I saw the world and my place in it. But when you're lucky enough to keep you're eye brows you forget. Forget how to manage the really heavy blows.

Recently, I was faced with something that rocked my reality. I was in an abusive relationship with the most beautiful girl... She took things for granted, like her looks, her smarts, me .... But most importantly her health. I learned a lot while watching the titantic of my love sink. I have to manage my stress and how cope... So I won't sink with it.

I read a couple of blogs here where someone said they just got AU. I'm so sorry that you have to experience that. It was also said that your body went past AA because of stress. I realize that it's hard for us but even harder to maintain our sanity in a shallow world. I'm so scared to really experience this break up... Afraid I might stress and feel too much and loss the little I have. So I'm writing, writing because I was afraid of writing. I didn't want to try to process the roller coaster that I've been through. I didn't want to bring myself to the brink of feeling anything but that's not how you manage stress. Too much is on the line for me not to fight.

Studies have shown that a vast majority of physical illnesses are truly mental manifestations that we're unchecked. So I'm writing, sharing and swinging as hard as I can. It's hard to be happy when you're count the wrongs, hard to feel good when holding on to the hurt and hard to win when losing also includes losing your hair but you have to try. So let me be an example to myself. Let us be an example to the world around us. Maybe less people will take their problems for granted.