I was pretty young when I found out I had AA. My mom noticed a small spot of hair missing on my head when I was 11 years old but didn't think too much of it. We started to notice that my hair continued to fall out and we went to see my doctor, who thought I was intentionally pulling out my hair. We went to numerous dermatologists who tried treatment after treatment for two years until I had decided I couldn't take it anymore. I was sick of spending two hours of my time every day having treatments done that simply were not working.
Not too long after I stopped seeing a dermatologist on a daily basis, my parents decided on getting a divorce. The trauma of this incident led to me losing all my hair and my AA turned into AAT for about a year and a half. My middle school years were the most depressing years of my life. Kids can be very cruel, and I would worry day to day whenever going to school. I would have to wear my hair a certain way every day and would always be checking a mirror to make sure the spots on the back of my head weren't noticeable, until it started getting really bad and I had to start wearing hats and wigs. It was horribly noticeable and I begged my parents to take me out of school, but they had invested too much in my education and there weren't any homeschooling opportunities since my parents were dealing with their own issues.
I ended up losing friends who said that my life was too stressful to deal with. They would say mean things about my hair loss and I would come home and cry every day. The transition to high school was insanely difficult for me. I had started seeing a new wig specialist and it wasn't insanely obvious that I had a hair loss problem, but it was stressful to go to gym class every day with my wig. I didn't like sweating under it but I wouldn't take it off after going through what I had. The more I learned about wearing wigs, the easier it got to deal with wearing them and it began to feel natural. As time passed, my hair started growing back until I had AA again. My eyebrows also grew back and people started to forget about it.
Even though I would never wish such experiences on other people, I look back on it and I feel blessed in a way to have had it. Without having AA, I wouldn't have turned to playing flute to cope with stress. I would not have met any of the wonderful and supportive people from the hair replacement business who have helped me get through it. I'm able to cope with stressful situations much easier now and I want to be able to help others cope with AA, as well. I probably will never be able to go out in public without a wig due to emotional issues I've sustained about my AA, but I am not afraid to admit to people that I have it. I've grown to accept that it's a part of me and, even though some days I admit it would be so much easier to have my own hair, I know I would be a much different person if it hadn't happened to me.
I'm now studying flute in college and I have grown accustomed to dorm and roommate situations with a wig. It may not be an easy situation to deal with at times, but after having it for so long, I've got to admit that it's not so bad as I originally thought. I'm not ugly because I'm bald. Society is ugly for making women think they need to have hair to be beautiful.