My hairline and scalp are thinning by the day - it's like the last month turned this corner from it not being seen to - There it is! I've had a long history of eating disorders and have been pretty much healed (even though it's sort of something that always sits within you), learned to love myself and to write and to give to others. This has me blown sideways inside of my vulnerable Self. I realize that every blog I've posted, everything about love and care has been put to the test. Prove it, this says. There are days (most of them) that my "Better, Faster, Stronger" mantra of years says that I will be the best, most powerful, bald woman Ever. And then there are moments when tears just spring from nowhere as I try to wrap my mind around it. I know I'm the stronger for it now, but - wow. Okay. I divorced a year ago from a 17 year marriage and have found the love of my life who is accepting of this. LOVES ME. I suppose what it is in many of us - is Not that we aren't accepting of it, but that our fears of rejection are so deep that those are the ones that could mire us into morose melancholy. I don't want to lose the ones I love the most. I think more than any other condition, the lack of self esteem can leach the happiness out of any relationship. So, taking a huge breath and standing up. Watching the scalp come in, wearing the 3/4 and thinking it's going to need to upgrade to the whole. Well, Good morning, Friday. I'm walking in my spirit today. And in the back of my mind, maybe in some way I think that because I've always been a perfectionist with a misguided valuation of myself that somehow has to "do" for everyone else to prove my worth/right to exist - maybe it's God's gentle way of truly letting me know that I am enough - just me. And what a hard lesson. But I feel Him.