A Testimony of Mine Own
Given at CCCMOPS in Spring of 2010

Jesus is with me always. Even as a little girl I somehow knew Jesus would answer my prayers.

One morning, when I was 3 years old, my mom was putting my hair up in piggy tails and she noticed a dime size spot on the back of my head that was missing hair. A bald spot. I remember going to several doctors, having blood tests, and my mom crying a lot from not knowing why I had several bald spots all over my head. Finally, a new doctor asked right away, Alopecia, Right?”

To me Alopecia is just this weird thing that makes my hair fall out. As I got older that bald spots got bigger, quarter sized then they spread till they were touching and showing through my thinning hair that didn’t cover the bald spots anymore. When shopping, grown ups stared, made comments, and asked questions my mom didn’t fell were any of their business.

As I started school kids noticed I was different. At first it wasn’t a big deal, but then they got mean. At night I prayed for God to give me hair. I dreams of it in my dreams but woke up to reality. My mom would curl and feather the hair I did have till it looked pretty. But the other kids still called me names…baldy, bald eagle

When I would come home from school crying from being teased my grandma would say. “It’s what’s on the inside that counts.” It was hard for me to make friends but I did, my grandma would remind me “it’s not the quantity of friends but the quality.” I held my head up high, got good grades, but the boys didn’t want to be my friends at all. I prayed that God would give me a husband that loved me just the way I am.

When I was in Jr. High the kids I thought were my friends, weren’t! They just wanted to cheat off my paper or copy my homework. The mean kids got meaner and abusive. I ended up in a deep depression.

When I finally confessed to my mom and grandparents what was happening they pulled my out of 8th grade and I started a new school, a small Christian school, but in the 7th grade because I was failing. I knew Jesus had a plan for me to be there. I got invited to a youth group here at Christ Community Church. I finally made real friends that looked past the thin strands of hair that peaked out the back of my baseball caps. I began to study about Jesus’ love. I joined the Youth choir and sang about the joy the lord had brought me.

At my new school the 8th grade teacher was a coach and wanted us to feel like a team so we went to camp a week before school started. It was there, on the last day of camp, I choose to give my life to Christ’s leadership while we were singing Amazing Grace. With my hands lifted high, I sang the words but my thoughts drifted to prayer. Jesus, never leave me, be with me always, guide me, help me not to argue with my mom, please – I begged – never leave me. ** I could feel a heavy hand on my shoulder, I knew then, Jesus would always be with me. From that moment on I studied the Bible more intensely and “thirsted” for knowledge to share with others.

A few years later, now in High School, I realized something that changed my perspective of the past. You see, I was full of confidence, my inner beauty shined like a light. I was different from the other kids but for a different reason. I had Jesus with me. Everything I had gone through made me who I was. Scenarios ran through my mind. If I had hair and the boys did like me, would I still be a virgin, unlike most of my girlfriends? They were looking for love in others. My life led me to true love in Jesus, love that lasted.

By my junior year I had 2 close girl friends and 3 best friends all boys. My grandma was right about the quality being more important then the quantity. God answered one of my prayers at Jr Prom. I met my future husband, who knew I was wearing a wig and didn’t mind at all. As we dated he learned all my secrets and even now he loves me as I am.

Because of my thirst for knowedge of scripture and my passion for kids. I started serving as a teacher in Children’s Ministry. Every year the lesson plans give me the opportunity to share with the kids about being teased in school. I tell them to be different, be friends with the kids everyone picks on. Having Alopecia taught me to look inside others to find who they really are, not to judge based on appearances. After all Jesus was friends with some of the most unlikely characters.

Kids love to touch my bald head and I let them of course. God answered my child hood prayer for hair with a NO! Now, being bald is cool. Most of my girl friends joke about being jealous when they find out I don’t have to shave my legs. My best friends mom even told me once, “Ya know? You’ll never go gray.”

While I’m shopping, people ask me questions most assume I am sick, but I take time to explain that I’m not, and listen to their story or ask who I can pray for.

In my adult life, past the adolescent concerns, there have been many times when I have felt overwhelmed with troubles day to day. Each time God has gotten my attention with a heavy hand on my shoulder. I’ve had to stop, and mentally list every part of my life in prayer. Which always results in me figuring out I was trying to control something or many things. I place all these things in his hands and ask him to be the leader. As I allow God to take the reigns, again and again. I see now the past prepared me for the current struggle, because of Jesus’ love for me I know everything will be okay.

A verse that has comforted me several times when I’ve been worried what “I should do” is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.