Comment by Debra Lee on July 3, 2013 at 8:23pm

The best thing is to let her lead a normal life and see how the hair situation goes. You never know what the future will hold. Just do your best to let her be a kid.

Comment by Dorothy on July 3, 2013 at 8:23pm

Your daughter will feel how you feel, if you indicate that all is lost and hopeless, she will feel it is the end of the world. If you have a positive outlook and give her the best positive self image of herself, that is how she will feel. Don't ignore, and do listen to other mothers who have helped give their kids positive self images. I was 18 yrs old and married when this happened to me, this was 40 yrs ago and to date my own mother has yet to ask me one question about it or ask me how I am handling it all.

Comment by Gale Moorman on July 3, 2013 at 8:55pm

Hi Claire. I was diagnosed with AA at 10 yrs. old. Mom took me to pediatrician. He gave series of iron shots and prescription for anthralin cream. When the shots ended and the cream ended soon bald spots came back and I was back to square one. Went to dermatologist and more cream prescription and told that scalp injections may help. May is a strong word and he also said that they are painful but May stimulate hair growth again and a lost of bald spots all over my head. It scared me and I told Mom forget it. I took vitamins, had a better diet, less sugary treats & junk food. Bald spots stayed dormant for yrs. through HS and I did a comb over. Was always athletic, wore baseball caps and then more baldness, wore a scarf & baseball cap. Excuses if anyone asked why the scarf/cap and I wasn't too bother about it by others. Went to college same baldness; ran track, learned tennis. Never liked the idea of a wig plus it was expensive for my family. Scarfs, tams, continued college, alopecia bald spots sometimes got more, not too much less. Met people, got wed and had a baby; same bald spots. 2 yrs. later expected and had twin boys; but a month later after birth, took a shower and all hair fell out. Total shock; continued wearing scarf/cap. AA is totally unpredictable. If you're in an environment that is as stress free as possible, it's a great thing of coping with not much or no hair. I have totalis now for a ton of yrs. No hair on scalp but people saw me with the scarf/cap they got used to it. Your daughter is young now and AA is unpredictable. Try to go with the flow; a hat, a tam, a scarf and when older if you can afford a wig, let it be. Going to AA meets in the UK is emotionally helpful. I started my own cleaning service when I was laid off from a college 11 yrs. ago in NYC but got online and a lady from UK told me to start my own cleaning service. I am ever greatful. I'm the boss, one of my sons works with me; I came out to him once I started a AA group in NYC; I feel good. AA isn't painful physically; you don't lose consciousness or blood or can't work physically; try going with the flow; later on find out with your daughter her hobbies and if she can be self-employed doing what she likes best; if she can it would truely be worth it to stop the possible tension she may experience on job as an employee. At present I work the US Open Tennis, have another home based business and still do my cleaning; Plus it's been 11 yrs. and UK lady and I are best of friends; don't sweat it; go with the flow. When you need to get back to me.

Comment by annabellas mo. on July 3, 2013 at 9:04pm

My daughter is 4 years olds I feel the same thing sometimes. My daughter about a year ago found out and now she has almost nohair bur she dont get it yet. She has said to other people that she don't feel beautiful because she don't have long hair but I always said to her that she is the true beauty cuz all she needs is her baby blue eyes and her personally as for most people hide behind their looks and hers show even with no hair.

Comment by Chandra Marie Hall on July 3, 2013 at 9:06pm

Hey there Claire,
I'm a hairstylist who sees a lot of things, and I think that while it's great trying to protect your daughter from the pressure of conforming to standards of beauty that are unrealistic at best, taking away things she already loves might make her feel sad if she doesn't understand you're trying to protect her. I think balance is key. Try exposing her to bald and beautiful women and other children her age, and a variety of different kinds of beauty. She is smart enough to understand that message at her age, I bet. Someday if she is ever bullied for being different, she will be able to say that she knows beauty is more than just one person's narrow definition. It may also help to expose her to creative artists who experiment with their appearance, such as behind the scenes stylists or actors in large productions on stage, like operas and even Cirque Du Soliel. You might ignite a passion in her to use her own creativity to define her image when the time comes, and it's better to feel resourceful and in charge of your appearance when grappling with insecurity than to feel a lack of creativity and options when and if you're unhappy. If I didn't have my background in creative solutions to hair-concerns, I would not be where I am today. :)

Comment by Sybil on July 3, 2013 at 9:24pm

Hi Claire,
My daughter Olivia started losing her hair when she was 2 1/2. It was all gone by the time she was 3, but her eyebrows and eyelashes grew back. Trust me, I know what you are going thru, but..kids are resilient. Olivia is now 7 and very popular. Everywhere we go people know her. She is very outgoing and lovely. I can't say that she hasn't had issues with kids, but mostly we've been ok.
People are concerned when they meet her. We've been the recipients of lovely words of support. Of course you have to explain it isn't cancer and it gets tiring. People in general care so get used to it
Your daughter WILL be fine and you will too. Pretty quickly you realize you can't do anything about it. You can try allergy tests, but I wouldn't do anything invasive at her age. We've done the shampoos, creams, foams...nothing works. We just work on her self image now..and she doesn't really need help with that..lol
Se DID just get her first real hair wig yesterday. Only because she said she is getting tired of explaining to new kids she meets at school. Everyone wants to know her and what happened. Now she just wants to fit in a little.
When your daughter is six, contact Hair Club for Kids. They won't see her before her sixth birthday.
Contact me anytime if you wish
Just remember she hasn't changed..it's just different. Everyone has something "wrong", this is just something you can see. Don't let her feel something is wrong by dragging her from doctor to doctor..just let her run the show.

Sybil

Comment by Christine on July 3, 2013 at 10:40pm

Hi, Claire,
Same with me. I was 3 when I was diagnosed with AA. Forty one years now ((THAT long!?). Listen to Debra Lee. Let her be a kid, and treat her like one. She's just a normal kid, and at 3, she has no idea she's any different from other little kids (which she isn't), and other kids at that age don't care. You have no idea what will happen; it may go away and never come back. Although I commend your idea of shaving your own hair, no. It won't help her deal with it, because she doesn't need to right now (see reason above). You are obviously a fantastic mum, like mine was, and still is. It's great of you to come here for her, but she doesn't need the support right now, you do. Don't feel bad for her, treat her normal, let her play, and see what happens. My heart goes out to you, being worried for her, and I hope all these comments let you know that someone is there for you to talk to when you need it (like when she's a teenager (maybe you should print these out to show her then what she put you through now)). Keep a good attitude, and make sure, whether this continues for her or not, that she has one too.

Comment by itsmeehtalia on July 3, 2013 at 10:54pm

AA can get worse, or go away (it's always there, tho). It depends on every single individual. Stay as positive as you can. I had AA as a child, it went away for years. (I was put through various treatments) then re-appeared at the age of 20. And then I went on a roller coaster of good and bad. After having my daughter, everything fell out. (I'm not strong like many others here, whom I envy for their courage.) about 50% has grown back (I'm doing topical treatments), so I where wigs. If you plan to seek treatment, don't be discouraged, if you don't, that's fine too. Everyone feels differently about it.

Comment by HollyB on July 4, 2013 at 3:20am

Hi Claire - I understand about being a "newbie and being sad." My 13 year old daughter was diagnosed in March with alopecia areata. She discovered a very large patch missing from the top of her head over night. She has been handling the diagnosis a lot better than I have. She has been experimenting with hair pieces (she uses the hair pieces with her remaining hair) and with Toppik (which is a powder that covers the balding patches)and it really looks like her hair. I say this to let you know - our daughters will be great. I think the unpredictability about the entire thing is the hardest part. Thinking of you as you begin this journey. There were many sleepless nights for me for the first couple of months.

Comment by Sherry Schaefer on July 4, 2013 at 6:56am

Hi Claire,
As a mom of an 11 yr. old girl, I can imagine how you must feel. She doesn't have areata, I do, but she has grown up with the Disney heroines with long hair. Irongirl mentioned that many parents try the natural route rather than pharmacological intervention if they're going to try using anything. There is an aromatherapy approach that has shown some success in regrowing hair with alopecia areata patients. It uses 4 essential oils in a base of two 'carrier' oils. If you google "randomized trial of aromatherapy Isabelle C. Hay" it should come up. I used it the first time I lost my hair (3 times now for me) and it did all re-grow within a year's time. Just an option....

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