Well I gotten some great responses to my blogs so the blogging will continue.... Ah yes a new adventure in my life everyday. A couple weeks ago I wanted to venture out and embrace the night life once again. The clubs are calling my name. No, no that's not right, I should the money is calling my name. Clubs are also known as fast cash. Compared to dead end restaurant jobs that for some reason I keep going back to.

I've been the secretary. The night time cleaning lady. Ice cream scooper girl. Drive thru expert. Medical Records clerk. Food cater monster. ID checker and security at an amazingly 4'10 feet. Personal slave to my current employer, I am a waitress at his establishment as well as his secretary, clean up one girl crew, technical support, and therapist. I know every little dirty secret of his, his failing marriage, his kids, his financial situations, his mind, his every movement and thought.

You might think wow, Suzie really? You are not a shy girl... oh but I am so self conscious. I'm not pretty enough to work at a club or be the shot girl. I am not skinny enough anymore, I don't have long beautiful intoxicating hair like I used to. I am but a hollow shell of what I used to be. I could dress in sweats with a overly sized t-shirt on and feel like a sexy woman. Not anymore. The old Suzie comes back every once and a while. The old Suzie had the bright idea of having a friend set her up for a job in downtown Detroit at a club as a waitress.... oh this is gonna be good.

I arrive 15 minutes early, I text my friend that I am here and about to walk in. Get it girl. Strut your stuff be everything they want because you need a new job. I never really noticed how my friend was quite vague about her work, and the name of the place didn't really catch my eye. Whatever, it's a club... club's have stupid unoriginal names.

I walk in and open the heavy wooden door. The smell is so familiar. The darkness invites me, takes over and wraps itself around me. The type of place that it's 1am everyday at every time kind of place. The bouncer looks at me up and down, he stares. Wow, why do I feel naked right now? Now it smacks in the face what kind of club plays "The Dope Show" by Marylin Manson??!?!?!?! OOOOOhhh ah ha ha ah.... cricket cricket an adult club. I pivot my foot half way and then I feel warm arms wrap around me. I jump because I was not expecting this.... my friend.

I turn around in shock and then smile and say hi and all that jazz. She goes "Well this is it! How do you like it?!"

"Uh, I didn't know it was this kind of club..."

"Oh don't worry you get used to it."

"You mean I will get used to seeing dancers dressed like that everyday? Or shall I say not dressed?"

"Oh Suzie, your so funny and cute come on let's go in."

Wait wait wait wait wwaaaai ok fine. Aw man. This is uh um uh a little usual. The owner obviously was tipped off I was coming because he approached me and appeared out of absolutely NOWHERE. Honestly it's kind of scary the way this guy moved. He could physically fade in and out with a flick of a finger. Then again, yes that's how dark it was in there. I sit down he orders me a coke and tells me to please excuse him he has to go grab something. Sure, sure whatever guy trust me I won't be here long. The light catches the metal and quickly blinds me. It distracts me only for a second. Time seemed to not exist in this place though. I really can't explain it. Walls wrapped and painted in dark shades of red, blue, and purple but they all looked off colors of black except when the spot light hit them. All the men had the same face, dressed the same, same height, same everything. No one stood out except for the dancers. Waitress or shot girl who served me? I don't know they all had dark hair same length, they all acted the same. Impatient, unrealistic, nonhuman, uncaring, robots everywhere! The one thing that did stand out to me about the men in this club is that they looked like animals in the dark. They all had red eyes, preying, hunched over their drinks, some heckling, some pouncing on a waitress, some just staring with evil smiles. I was sitting by the stage by myself, sipping coke, waiting.... Oh I know this game well. I look over to the right and see all the waitresses lined up against the wall. Just for the fun of it I looked over at the girls and nodded my head, immediately a really tall girl took maybe two large graceful steps and was at my side asking what I needed. Wow, she was tall beautiful and looked extremely mean. I asked her for a refill. She came back in what seemed like a half an hour. Ok... what the heck am I doing?!? Am I really checking this place out, what's wrong with me.

1. Slow waitresses tell me they are not tipped well.
2. They were fast when unnecessary but slow when a faster paced was called for, which was extremely confusing.
3. There were more shot girls than waitresses, which is never a good sign especially because this place was small.
4. When there's more shot girls than waitresses it means bills will be confusing and it's easier to be ripped off.
5. Shot girls do not have sections like waitresses so if they get to your customer before you do, your out the drinks that you could have gotten for them.

This place screams chaos, as well as a waitresses worst nightmare! It could have been oh whole two minutes or two hours. I didn't like the fuzziness that was covering over my brain, and it was because of the environment. Also, for time I was there I saw at least seven out of ten girls being grabbed, forced to sit down, hassled, insulted, and yelled at by customers and other co-workers. Whew, I need a shower, a bath, a nap, and someone to hug me after visiting a place like this. Ok, so I won't lie, I've been to other adult clubs for various reasons like bachlorette parties, ugh I can feel you judging me please stop.

Again scary manager man fades back in and startles the hell out of me. He sits down across from me, he crosses his legs and hunches over the table. What is it with this place and everyone with horrible posture! I like how he could read me like book! Am I that readable?! I mean in my line of work, body language forced or unforced tells me everything. I've bar tended and waitressed reading people is how I make money. To sell you on food or drinks, to know when to push you into getting another one, reading to see what isn't working and what is. The whole hey your more comfortable with a waitress who crouches down and looks you in the eye and has that total hometown feel. Or the professional which is my favorite, serve from the left take from the right, attentive to everything. Or the hey I want to see you three times, the order, serving food, and the bill, no chit chat just give me food and go. Or the hey, let's talk because I need someone to talk to and I know that it's better to talk to a waitress than go somewhere else and trying to talk to a complete stranger.

His voice is actually quite soft... He leans in, I can tell that you've never worked at a place like this. Specially with the clothes you came in here with, your so professional looking.

Um? Thank you? Shouldn't everyone be professional when going for a job interview? Black high heels black slacks turquoise button up shit with a black argyle vest....

Man, he gave me a weird vibe. I told him thank you and that I will let him know my availability. He looked so happy about that... ok I thought you could read me like a book, I will not be back, I will not call you with my schedule, I will not force myself to endure this type of abuse that I see the other girls go through... yea right!
Which halriously he commented on that, he said "Oh don't worry we have security cameras everywhere and security guards too, nothing gets out of hand they are very well trained and observant."
If I had milk it would have came out my nose! Really if you have security cameras you usually don't tell the girls that, the reason why they do mention it, is to prevent you from stealing and ripping off customers! Security guards you mean guard, you mean the creepy guy at the door.... oh geez.

I wake back up in my car on the freeway going home. Wow... my head is pounding what the heck did I just do?! Sadly for some reason I felt oddly let down and defeated.... Search goes on. I heard my old club is hiring again.... ugh I don't know, cash was great but.... I don't know!

Stay fresh, stay cool. Hey and remember NOBODY puts baby in the corner!