Oprah got it wrong...

I love me some Oprah, I do. She struggles with her weight. I struggle with my weight. She motivates people. I motivate people. She has a passion for sharing information that can help us improve our lives. I have a passion for sharing such information (though I’ve done it on a much smaller scale). When Oprah ran a marathon, I wanted to run a marathon. And I did run a marathon. Because Oprah inspired me. Because Oprah made me think it was possible.

Oprah usually gets it right. But for the breast cancer show with Christina Applegate, Oprah got it wrong. Okay, the breast cancer stuff was great. And “Breast Cancer Battles” was the topic. She got that right. Of course she did.

But then she made an off-hand comment that made my heart sink. I’ve searched all over the Internet for the exact verbiage but can’t find it. (Note: Oprah really needs to get her show online. Seriously.) So I’m forced to paraphrase.

I think it was during the Maimah segment. God, I hope I’m getting this right. Maimah is this beautiful, thirty-something, African American breast cancer survivor. She is talking about a moment when she’s in the bathroom, crying softly, the water running in the shower so her Mom won’t hear. She’s naked, and bald from the chemo, and she’s thinking that nobody will ever want her again, nobody will ever love her again, not without breasts, not without hair.

Oprah is being compassionate and supportive. She is nodding. But the hair grows back, she says, the hair always grows back.

I cringe.

Yes, the hair grows back after chemotherapy. But with that one comment, Oprah has just perpetuated the belief that you’re only okay with hair.

She gets that you can be okay after a double mastectomy. She gets that you can be strong and courageous and beautiful without breasts, and with scars, but she doesn’t get that you can be strong and courageous and beautiful without hair.

I want to grab her shoulders and shake her.

Maimah gets it.

"I had this whole facade of being superwoman, always being perfect. Breast cancer strips you of that because you realize that's not important," she says. "All that matters is what's inside.”

And she specifically mentioned the hair.

Am I the only one who gets hot and bothered by things like this?!

Views: 47

Comment by Nikki Mans on June 19, 2009 at 10:09am
i love oprah also but i have 2 agree with you on this one
Comment by Mary on June 19, 2009 at 10:17am
Susan - when did Oprah do a show on alopecia? Did you see it? I wasn't aware she had done anything, particularly one that wasn't a make-over.
Comment by kastababy on June 19, 2009 at 11:34am
Oprah doesn't get it on a lot of things. Hair loss, thyroid disease (of which she's a victim herself) -- lots of things. Sometimes I wonder if all that money and celebrity makes people really lose touch with reality. Obviously, her reality if different than ours. But it also makes you wonder too, if Oprah lost her hair tomorrow how she would cope, and let me tell you -- there's nothing like alopecia or some other traumatic change to make you get your perspective back!
Comment by kastababy on June 19, 2009 at 11:36am
Mary, Oprah did a couple of shows on alopecia about 10 years ago, when she was still being sensational. Truthfully, you will get more shows on alopecia from Maury Povich and Tyra Banks than you will from Oprah. And yes, it was a make-over show. Some child was being teased and bullied and she got Sy Sperling when he ran Hair Club for Men to donate one of their systems.
Comment by panuelo girl on June 19, 2009 at 12:04pm
Thanks for all the great comments! I love to see what other people think about stuff that bugs me, especially people who've been through what I've been through. I bring these types of things up on my blog (outside of here) and I get comments from regular people, interesting people, but I really enjoy the perspective of fellow alopecians.
Comment by Mary on June 19, 2009 at 1:00pm
Thanks. No point beating our (bald) heads against a brick wall...but it can't hurt to send messages once in awhile. We have to just not let it bother us, and we have to CREATE our own news and consciousness-raising with things like the National Bald Out!
Comment by Dominique Cleopatra on June 19, 2009 at 6:15pm
BTW I have heard Oprah herself has very short hair and always wears lace wigs when out in public.
Comment by panuelo girl on June 22, 2009 at 5:55pm
Dominique...very interesting. I guess it's not a big deal when you have hair or lots of money or both?!?!?

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