Alopecia World
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Out in the world as an alopecian; the job interview and further steps
While I am a musician (Singer/Songwriter), I don't exist off the air I breathe. It would be nice. When I was signed to a label in the mid-90s I toured, made very good money. Long story short, my contract with my label was not renewed. It meant "start over". Back to a day job. I burned the candle at both ends, working to support myself, pursuing my musical endeavors, writing performing.
Like millions of other Americans I was laid off in 2008. I work as a temp whenever afforded the opportunity which is seldom, but I do what I can. I survive because I am married and my husband works. We live on a shoestring, but we live. We've done everything, filed for bankruptcy, moved to a smaller cheaper apartment, I had to give back my car. Making it work.
I embraced my alopecia, my bald head, when all my hair pretty much went this past March 2011. I had no problem being out in the world bald. For the most part, I was accepted. Dealt with the usual stupidity of some people, but not the end of the world. I am beginning to realize there is a good chance I was passed over for employment because of my bald head.
Given the current economy, employers can, and do discriminate. In my case, its pretty hefty. I'm female, a Black-Cuban, I'm middle-aged and I'm bald. I can't do much about my age or ethnicity. I recently lost out on a job where I'd been told "you are the #1 candidate". No reason was given except that someone else was chosen. I cried for 2 days. Mostly, because I figured it was about my bald head.
I'd been counseled to advise prospective employers that I don't have cancer. Their first thought is that I may be out sick a lot. I wait until I am well into the interview to mention it. So far, all interviewers make light of it "oh I didn't think anything of it, thanks for advising". I know its a huge pile of shit when they say this. I'm sure its the FIRST thing they noticed, my baldness. Nonetheless, I cover myself. I am still jobless.
My Alopecian sister-mentor "Crowned Regal" (some of you may know her) gave me good advice. She said wear the wig until you get the job. When you know you HAVE the job tell the immediate people that count, like your supervisor. After this its not an issue (well, it shouldn't be).
I had bought a wig prior to shaving the little bit of hair I had left on my head. It looked great to me, then. This is because it was better than the alternative. After I removed what little hair I had that wig looked like a costume to me. I'm guessing now that I have embraced my alopecian self and bald head, picking a different wig may feel/look better to me than what I bought when I still had some hair. I thinks its psychological.
I would like to have a wig made that will lay right on my head, but I don't have the money. My friend recommended to me the places where to go to get a wig that is affordable. I've seen her wigs, they're fantastic. So, off I go next week. I'll wear a wig to my interviews and after I get a job; sometimes to the job. Not my preference, but I have to eat, pay rent and take care of myself. Its part of my circumstance. Yeah, I can dig in my heals and so "no, they have to accept me just as I am" but they won't be accepting like they haven't been. We're living in difficult economic times and corporate America is worse and more prejudicial than its ever been because THEY CAN BE. It is doubtful to me that there was a real reason why I was not hired for this position that wasn't related to my baldness. I was told I was "it" by the recruiter. They were completely surprised at my not being hired as well. For the record I am extremely eloquent and well-spoken. It is what it is.
Rolling with the punches with my alopecian-self.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Be bold, be brave, be bald, be yourself,(when you can).
Lili
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Comment by Tallgirl on November 19, 2011 at 9:58pm
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Any business that weighs number of customers, company "visual" reputation (as in health and food industries) or profits vs making one employee feel good will usually go for the former in these times. Any alopecian who weighs principle vs survival has a big choice in these times. I plop on a wig and go for survival: it gets me more food than principle. At home and with loved ones is a whole different thing. My wig is part of my work uniform, and I am glad I landed on a decent one!
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Comment by Calipso on November 20, 2011 at 6:46am
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I wish you all the best with your job searching. I have to do that soon also...just the bad thing I am not well outspoken and + I'm also bald. It would be my first job interview...Well hope It would turn out not as bad as possible:DD good luck Hun:))
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Comment by Lili Añel (aka Eulalia) on November 20, 2011 at 12:05pm
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@Tallgirl; I've not gone "bald" on job interviews for the "principle" of it; I've gone bald because I feel COMFORTABLE that way and I am accepting of myself. I've not once hidden or boo-hoo'ed over the I-can't-stand-this-anymore-why-did-this-happen-to-me song and dance that I read on Alopecia World day in and day out. I lost my hair, I have an autoimmune disease I didn't ask for. My life could be much worse. I accept myself because I like who I am, I am proud of who I am as a person, hair or no hair. My day-job work is in the legal arena in the area of IT, specific to legal. I have never "weighed principle versus survival" and I've never hidden myself or been afraid to pass a mirror or felt no one would ever love me because I lost my hair. Everyone handles this thing differently. I am aware many people on here who have yet to find themselves, who didn't have much self awareness when they had hair, are going to struggle insurmountably without hair and in dealing with this process. I am lucky. I was taught from childhood to have self-esteem no matter what. Its not been a cakewalk and I have had my moments since losing hair this past March, but I have worked hard to overcome this. As I am now, in finding that I have had one more "ism" probably held against me in my job search; like what I already had wasn't enough. I persevere.
At this juncture, I'm learning the steps to how to continue in this life production with my Alopecia. I WILL find a job and sooner than later I WILL go to work comfortable, bald on the days I want to, with a wig or hat or scarves on the days I want to, period.
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Comment by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on November 20, 2011 at 7:43pm
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"I've not once hidden or boo-hoo'ed over the I-can't-stand-this-anymore-why-did-this-happen-to-me song and dance that I read on Alopecia World day in and day out." How most excellent for you.
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@LilyBell, I consider myself fortunate. My life story is not on display here. I have dealt with way more serious issues. I will say again, I consider myself lucky that I have handled this misfortune of hairloss how I've been able to. I think its very sad that many feel like they have to hide. I don't understand that because I don't feel that way. I would never hide myself. It doesn't make sense to me. I think its unfortunate for those who feel like no one could ever love them because they don't have hair. I'd like to wave a wand and erase their feeling this way. What a waste. All I can do is move forward with what I have. I think that's all any of us can do. But if you don't try to move forward you'll stay miserable and hate yourself like I see so many hate themselves here. Life is too short.
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The only thing I can think about that dumb employer is that there is a different position waiting for you there, or maybe that your second profession, music, may have been seen as a conflict in time for big cases. Seems they should have hired you, to me!
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@Tallgirl I never talk nor disclose what I do on my own time at job interviews, meaning my music. That would be dumb. People have what are viewed as their "hobbies"; what I do on my own time is no one's business and I don't volunteer this information. Their is a stigma associated with being a musician, prejudices similar to being bald; all musicians are drug addicts, never on time, always call out. In my case, couldn't be further from the truth. If I were earning a real wage as a musician that LAST thing I would be doing would be looking for a day-job.
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After hearing your most-excellent music on this site, I would think that someone would assume the opposite of what you just typed...that you would be getting major gigs and TV segments! I LOVE the mood you create with your singing!
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Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on November 21, 2011 at 9:56pm
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Best of luck to you Lili. I know you will rock this world and any potential employer should consider themselves lucky to have you. You have a strong and beautiful spirit and when "they" get passed the physical they will see it too.
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Comment by David B327 on November 22, 2011 at 3:57pm
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That's a bummer Lili. The world would be a much bette place if people got by on merit.
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