Well I guess a little bit of history first. I first found out I had Alopecia when I was in my mid-twenties. I found out by my hairstylist telling me I had a little bald spot at the back of my head. She told me it was Alopecia. At the time, I was stressed out with finals at university. The second time I found some bald spots, I had ended it with my long-time boyfriend of 8 years (had cancalled our wedding three months before it was to occur). I am now in my third bout, and it's worse this time. I have two two-inch sized patches at the back of my head. This time, I'm in the process of separating, job insecurity due to economic times, had to have a cat scan due to arm numbness. So needless to say, the stress level is up there. I thought my AA was due to stress, until I started reading all of your stories on Friday. Well, Friday was spent crying as I realized just how unpredictable AA is. I thought if you had AA, you just had a few spots. If you had AU...whole head. I figured they were different 'types' and that they didn't cross over I guess for lack of a better term. Well it appears that's not how AA works. So Friday was a very very bad day for me. Fortunately, I have a very wonderful man in my life who is very supportive. It was very hard for me reading those stories, because I also have another autoimmune disease. A lot of you talk about feeling less feminine without hair. Well I have a disease that also affects the 'core' of our womanhood I guess. Lichen Sclerosis. I will not go into detail, you can google. :p Anyhow, to deal with these two issues is a double whammy. Of course, they're both affected by stress levels. Fortunately, the one doesn't seem to be a problem right now.

Anyhow, I've been thinking a lot about this over the weekend. I'm trying not to obsess about it, but it's hard not to. I wonder what I will do if it gets worse. I don't know if I'm strong enough to shave my head if it gets to that point. I'd like to think I am, and that I don't care what people think. But deep down, I do. I do think that I'd resort to wigs when going out. But I'm wondering if that will just make me stress more, with wondering if people will know it's a wig. Maybe just coming out 'au naturel' would be less stressful. I do know one thing, by telling my boyfriend finally, it seemed to make it easier to talk to other people. After I did that, I spoke to a couple of my coworkers about it. I mentionned it in passing to another. It felt great just to say it aloud.

Well, I'm rambling now...:) I'm so glad I found this site, you are all very strong and supportive people. And I hope to get to know a bunch of you.