Comment by Tallgirl on February 28, 2010 at 7:50pm

Time to direct her to or print out factual info about alopecia from medical websites. Then she can read or cry, but on her own time. Let her research. She may be sad for you, or see it as a reflection of her own genes. It looks like she is trying to find out what is to "blame." Is there asthma or other conditions on either side of your family? That side may have led to a disposition for this, but no one is really sure of the cause. If hair-dying did it, just think of all the bald movie stars and models who would be walking the red carpets!

Comment by Devin on March 1, 2010 at 12:17am

Its hard for me to relate because my mother died when I was very young, but maybe by her making that big of a fuss and causing you to say things like not the end of the world, its only hair, she’s making you put it into perspective. If nothing else there is no love like a mothers...even if they can be a pain in the butt sometimes. lol

Comment by Clara S. on March 1, 2010 at 12:47am

Hi Tallgirl, it's probably true that she's trying to find something to "blame" and I've tried explaining it to her but she's still looking for the cause. I think she doesn't really listen to me either but will try to direct her to websites on AA and hopefully that will help her.

Devin, it's so true, mothers can be a pain sometimes but I still love her a ton so I just don't want her to worry like this about me. Plus it would feel a bit weird if she didn't fuss and she is well-meaning.I guess it helps to put things in perspective "that is only hair..." since I have to keep repeating it over and over again! :p

Comment by Clara S. on March 1, 2010 at 11:32pm

Hi Susan, thanks for the link. WOW thats a lot of information, stuff I didn't even know! That's why it's so nice to be here, getting to learn from everyone!

Comment by Clara S. on March 11, 2010 at 5:12am

hahaha I bet she was trying to be helpful like my mother, just wasn't sure how to!! I know what you mean though because why do we need to feel like we did something wrong?? We didn't and there's nothing we can do to control it either. I sent Susan's blog post over to my mother and I think that it's helped a bit, she hasn't responded but at least she's backed off a bit too. :) Maybe you can try that too, if anything maybe it will help her understand your condition better. Anyways, let's just keep on going together! I support you and i totally agree we have to be the ones to accept our condition. I think now that I've moved onto accepting, it's become easier to deal with :) Am still an emotional mess on that odd day tho ahaha :)

Comment by Julie G on March 16, 2010 at 8:29am

Clara, I know the feeling with talking to your mom. But when I talk to mine, she is very supportive of me and actually is the one that makes me feel better most of the time. But my problem, is that she blames herself. She thinks that she did something wrong that has caused me to have the issues that I am having. I have told her many times that it is just hair(even though to me it really isn't) and my other medical issues (PCOS, hypothyroidism) aren't life threatening so I am fine. It hurts me because she has enough going on in her life that she doesn't need to be thinking that she did something wrong. But she won't listen to me when I try and tell her that. It comes up here and there that she will get quiet and I know that she is feeling guilty.

Comment by Clara S. on March 16, 2010 at 10:41am

Julie, i totally understand that. Perhaps it didn't really come out right in this blog post but my mother blames herself for my condition as well. So now, I just try not to talk about it too much unless she asks. I think she's getting better with it though. I guess it does take a bit of time and unfortunately, we can't stop them from blaming themselves even if we try our best to convince them that it's not their fault.

Comment by Michelle L on March 24, 2010 at 11:30pm

My mother is the opposite - when I told her, she put of a happy voice and said "Great! There are wonderful wigs and you're not dying or anything". Which was a good response, I guess - but I kinda wanted a teensy little bit of sympathy. *lol* I reckon your Mom just needs some time to digest the info and see that you're okay with it, so she should be too. If all else fails, I say just don't answer the phone!

You are gorgeous, by the way, and I love your wigs. xoxo

Comment by Clara S. on March 25, 2010 at 1:00am

:) yea it can be tricky, it's like you want a bit of sympathy but you also don't want to feel blamed for your condition either. hehe.

Thanks for your compliments :)

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