Comment by Phil on February 5, 2011 at 10:45am

well i was diagnosed with a.a. almost a year ago. it started as two small spots now it is two bigger spots. i am not currently trying any treatments due to not having insurance, although i did pick up some rogain to try.

alls i can tell you is that i understand how it feels to have family members show no sympathy for u losing your hair. ive even been told it was my fault its getting worse because i was worrying about it. but, does it really matter if anyone shows u sympathy. does it help u feel better about it?

i have been so pissed off, depressed, and just sad about how i look and how other people look at me since this condition has gotten worse, but i realized something the other day. it only affects me when i let it. does it suck? yes it does but im not going to accomplish anything in life if i sit around and cry about it. i have a great family that loves me, i have an awesome daughter that always wants to kiss my "boo boos" and i have decided i am going to succeed in life regardless of what i look like. i cant let it affect me at all.

i hope and pray that u get peace with yourself, and not let this condition keep you from your dreams. im sure you will get alot of encouragment from this site. the people here are truely a blessing.

good luck to you,
Phil

Comment by Sarah Niker-Fleming on February 5, 2011 at 11:18am

Thanks Phil I'm not looking for sympathy just a little bit of encouragement pep talk after playing back the conversation my mum and I had the other night I assume she's being the way she was due to her being old school she grew up in the mid 50's 60's era even if my mum doesn't want to support me I have my ex and friends. I see where your coming from I shouldn't sit on my but and cry I have dream and goals I'm determined to do by the end of the year
Thank you for taking time out and reading my rant much appreciated
Sarah

Comment by Phil on February 5, 2011 at 11:52am

no problem, and i hope i didnt sound unsympathetic, or mean, i just want you to not let this hinder your goals and dreams. we all need encouragment sometimes. good luck to you, and try to stay positive. its only hair.

trust me i know how unsympathetic family can be and it has really upset me in the recent past, but im trying to learn to let things bounce off me and move forward.

just like you, i have alot of things i would like to accomplish in 2011.

just think sarah, if you put your mind to it, and stay focused, and and act on your dreams, this will be the best year of your life . at least thats the way i feel about my life right now. ive accomplished alot and its only feb. 05.

stay focused on your dreams and goals sarah, and you will have a happy life

Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on February 5, 2011 at 3:21pm

I have had alopecia for 27 some years. First with AA then with AU. All I can really share with you is that it does it easier. You will cry, mourn, and be angry, BUT always remember hair or no hair you are fabulous, beautiful, strong and brave. Hair does not determine the person that you are.
I know it sounds easy but trust me you will get there.

Comment by LeslieAnn Butler on February 5, 2011 at 4:20pm

Sarah,
When I was writing my book, "If Your Hair Falls Out, Keep Dancing!", some of my interviews revealed that many of the women with alopecia had "unsympathetic" or even cruel, responses from their mothers. The psychology behind this is that the moms often feel guilty that somehow they have passed on this condition to their child and they blame themselves. They feel guilty when they see how painful alopecia is for their child, and this often results in lashing out. So you might want to practice being kind and understanding because even though it doesn't appear that way, that this can be just as painful -- sometimes even more -- for your mom than it is for you.
Hugs, Leslie Ann

Comment by lynne on February 6, 2011 at 3:29pm

hey sarah nice to meet you :) i know exactly how you feel and i still feel like that and its 2years in april for me since i lost my hair, i took an allergic reaction to the sun called polymorphic light erutpion... big word eh, lol that cleared up then within 2wks i lost most of the hair on my head. suppose i didnt really have time to think about it altho i felt quite depressed i just kept thinking i just have to get on with this.. i then lost my eyelashes and eyebrows, it took a few months for me to then feel very self contious and hated anyone knowing i was wearing a wig and i still feel the same.. i have changed jobs and im nervous everyday incase someone asks or i have to tell them. mad isnt it as you'd think id get used to it now. my eyelashes are back altho dont seem proper lashes if that makes sense lol and my eyebrows still trying, i have been getting regrowth on my head since it fell out but it hasnt grown back properly yet,, i recently shaved it all off again and hoping to see a change in it growing sometime soon. wishful thinking. jeez i bet i just cheered you up then eh, :) i wouldnt have gotten through it without this website and i had great support,, i dont come on here as often as i first did but know i can still come on here for advice :) hope you hear loads more stories and feel better about yourself soon, chat again sometime, xx

Comment by Sarah Niker-Fleming on February 9, 2011 at 1:19pm

Thanks everybody your stories have put a new lease of life into my confidence I was talking to my ex the other day and told him although I'm still coming to terms with the AA I should be lucky it's my hair and not my life I'm loosing. I'm a little bit worried about how it will affect my daughter when she grows up and goes to school I'd hate for her to be bullied because of me but with careful explination to my daughter she can one day in the future explain to people about my alopecia

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